Misinterpreting Fate (Book 2)

18. Apologies

Chapter 18: Apologies

Sam

The next few days went by rather smoothly. Ryan had backed off, thankfully, and I haven't been bothered by Shawn or Grant, which seemed like a miracle. But of course, I knew that peace wasn't going to last, so I was constantly on my guard any time I went anywhere in the school.

My peaceful week ended Wednesday afternoon. The final bell had just rung, and I was at my locker packing up my backpack with the homework I would need to do tonight when my locker was slammed shut and my books knocked to the ground.

"I heard something interesting today," Grant said.

I didn't lift my gaze from my locker that was now closed. I shouldn't give him the satisfaction of getting to me.

"Two dads, huh?" he went on. "Now I know where you get it from."

I finally looked at him. "Leave them out of this. They didn't do anything to you."

"They raised you to be a faggot just like them. This is why gays shouldn't have kids. They just corrupt our society."

I felt like his words hit me harder than any punch he could have thrown at me. "My dad is the CEO of one of the largest accounting firms in the country," I said, getting angry. "And my poppa owns his own restaurant. Also, my dad had me before he ever met my poppa. You don't know me and you don't know my family. So don't make assumptions. And - honestly - I'm a better person than you, Grant, because my dads raised me to have manners, unlike your parents."

It was the first time I've ever really stood up for myself. Despite the fact that my hands were shaking because I was so nervous, it actually felt kinda good. Grant's face made it slightly better too, since he was obviously struggling to find his voice after my little outburst.

"Sam's right," a voice said behind me.

I turned, wide-eyed to see Shawn standing there. "Wait, what did you just say?" I asked, no longer believing I had heard him right.

"I said you're right. You're a pretty great person. Better than Grant, definitely."

Grant scoffed, but didn't say anything as he trudged past us, even bumping into Shawn's shoulder on his way. Shawn didn't react, though. He just stayed where he was standing.

I shook my head, bending over to grab my belongings. I didn't need Shawn here to rescue me. Not that I even needed rescuing. I had the situation handled this time.

"I'm sorry."

I stopped what I was doing, looking up at him. "What?"

He sighed, bending over with me to help collect some loose papers. "I said I'm sorry. God, get your ears checked." Then he smiled and I honestly felt a little uneasy. Why come apologizing now? Why say all that stuff in the first place if he didn't mean it?

So I asked him. "Why?"

"Because you've asked me to repeat myself twice in less than a minute...?"

"No. Why are you apologizing?"

"Do you not want me to?"

I grabbed the last of my books and the papers from Shawn's hands before stuffing them all in my backpack and standing up. "I'm just confused. Why are you? You said a lot of hurtful things about me, Shawn. Did you mean them?"

He sighed, also standing up before leaning his back against the lockers. "I was just... jealous, I guess. I didn't want to lose one of my closest friends."

"I wasn't going anywhere, Shawn. What are you talking about?"

He shook his head slowly. "Ryan. I didn't want to lose Ryan."

"What? I don't even like him like that... And even if I did, it's not like I'd be taking him away from the group."

"He told me that he liked you. Last year, Sam. I tried telling him to get over you, to not do anything."

"So you're fine with him being gay, but not me?"

He shook his head again. "Sam, I'm bisexual."

I slung my backpack over one shoulder. I was done with him not giving me answers. How can he be okay with not only Ryan, but himself too, but not me? "Bye, Shawn."

I started walking away, but he stopped me, grabbing hold of my arm. "Please, Sam. I'm sorry for saying all that stuff to Ryan. I... you were never meant to hear any of it. Then what I said to you and Jaime was uncalled for. And none of it was true, okay? I could never hate you."

I spun around to face him again, shaking his hand off me. "Then why say it in the first place? He was about to hit you for saying that stuff. Did you want Ryan to attack you?"

"No," he sighed. "And he did find me after school. Sam... I... When Ryan told me that he liked you, I got upset. But not because he was into guys. It was because I liked him. Hearing him talk about you all the time was awful, but at least I got to listen to him talk, you know? I had tried to get him over you, that way maybe he might notice me, but he never did. Then you came out to us and I knew I immediately lost any bit of a chance I might have had. That's why I said that. He started focusing even more on you and I just wanted his attention, and maybe, just maybe, if I got him to hate you and if other people hated you, he'd come back to me when he realized you weren't the one for him."

I stared at him, not knowing what to say. But then I remembered something. "But you always kinda acted a little weird whenever my parents were around. I honestly thought you were homophobic, especially after I came out."

He shook his head. "To be honest, your poppa scares me. He's pretty intimidating."

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to see a text from Ryan. I quickly opened it and read: Where are you, dude? Are you not taking the bus?

I sighed. "I need to go, before I miss the bus."

"Yeah, I need to go too. But are we good, Sam? I don't expect you to forgive me right away, but I hope you do eventually."

I shrugged. "I guess. Also, you can have Ryan. I don't like him the way he likes me. I've told him that, repeatedly."

I didn't wait for his response before I was walking down the hall rather quickly. I definitely did not need to be missing the bus today, not when I knew Poppa wouldn't be able to pick me up if I did.

"Sam!" Shawn called down the hall after me.

I stopped and turned to face him. He was still standing by my locker, not having moved yet.

"Don't tell anyone. About me. Okay?"

I nodded my head. He may have acted like a jerk to me, but that didn't mean I would out him to anyone. I would never be able to do something like that.