Misinterpreting Fate (Book 2)

31. Mother

Chapter 31: Mother

Ryan

We ate dinner in silence. Not even Matty had anything to say. He probably finally caught on to the mood in the house. Some anger. Mostly disappointment. Maybe a little hatred. All aimed at me.

She's been this way ever since she found out about me. That I was gay. I knew she hated that idea. I had been hoping she'd see past it. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened yet. At least she hasn't actually kicked me out.

I stood from the table. I had only eaten half my dinner, but I didn't care. Not like I was hungry tonight anyway. How could I eat with her glaring at me across the table?

"Where are you going?" she demanded. Like she even cared.

"Out."

"Ryan Helder, sit yourself back down in that seat and finish your dinner."

I shook my head. "I can't. Like I said - I'm going out."

"With Sam?" she asked. "He was such a good boy before..."

I scoffed, not bothering to figure out what she meant by that. "Sam's been my best friend since second grade. We've hung out plenty of times before he was ever my boyfriend."

With that, I dumped my plate in the sink and left the kitchen. She had no right to lecture me about Sam. I wasn't even going to see him tonight. I just wanted to go to the gym.

I went into my room to find my gym clothes. After putting them on, I made sure I had everything in my gym bag. The contents had been all over my room. I didn't want to forget anything.

"Ryan," my mother said when I passed by the kitchen on my way out. "Come here."

She was using her stern voice. But it didn't sound like the anger was there anymore. I went, stopping in the kitchen doorway. I realized Matty was no longer at the table. She probably sent him to his room so he wouldn't hear this conversation.

"I'm going to the gym," I told her.

She sighed. "Ryan, I don't want to be mad at you."

"Then don't."

"It's not that easy. I know I haven't been the best parent for you these last couple of years. It's so difficult trying to raise two boys on your own, even harder when one of them decides to go on a self-destructive path. Your father wouldn't have wanted that for you."

I knew it wasn't Matty she was referring to. "Having a boyfriend isn't destroying my life." I took a deep breath. "And Dad knew. He didn't care that I was gay. It's you who has a problem with it."

She stood up from the table. There were tears in her eyes. "Ryan... I knew too. For years. I saw the way you looked at Sam. I also knew he never looked at you that way. You've been getting into so much trouble at school recently. I don't want you to drag Sam into that mess. He's too good of a kid. I don't want you to be involved in all that mess and trouble. I know you're a good kid too."

I stared at her, not sure if I heard her right. Eventually, I spoke. "So you don't care that I'm gay?"

She shook her head slowly, with a small smile, but I could tell she was trying not to cry. "No, sweetie. Of course not. I'm sorry I made you think that."

Then her arms were around me. Holding me tight. I dropped my gym bag to the floor. Hugging her back. I couldn't remember the last time I hugged her.

"Maybe I will head to Sam's," I told her, stepping out of the hug. I didn't feel like I needed to hit things anymore.

"Okay," she said. "Do you want me to drive you there?"

I glanced out the window. It was already getting dark. Maybe I shouldn't be riding my bike right now. "Sure. Lemme just text him. Make sure it's okay I come over."

I pulled out my phone and quickly sent him the question. Mom then put her hand on my arm. I looked at her, our eyes level with each other. She smiled.

"What I've been trying to get across to you these past few weeks," she started, "is that punching bags at the gym-" She pointed to my gym bag, "is perfectly okay. Just don't go around punching people anymore, okay?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I'll try."

"Don't just try, okay? I mean it - stop hitting people. It doesn't solve anything. I don't want to get another call from the principal's office. Unless he's awarding you with some spectacular achievement thing, okay?"

"Okay," I chuckled. Then Sam answered my text, saying I could come over. "Can you drive me to Sam's now?"

Mom kissed my cheek. I promptly wiped it off. "Of course, honey. Give me ten minutes to get Matty out of the house." Because we couldn't leave the five year-old home alone.

When I got to Sam's, he immediately opened the door before I had a chance to ring the bell. He hugged me. Then he seemed to realize who had dropped me off.

"Your mom actually drove you here?" he asked, backing up enough to look at me. "I thought she hated us being together?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "Turns out she doesn't. Knew about me all along, too."

Sam grabbed my hand, leading me inside. We headed straight for the stairs. Probably to go to his room so he could hear the rest of the story from me.

When we passed the living room, I noticed the extra person. Both of Sam's dads were there, who briefly said hello to me as we passed. There was also a third man. He hadn't even looked up from a notepad.

"Who's that other guy?" I asked Sam once we were in his room. "With your dads?"

"Oh. Yeah. That's the lawyer who's trying to get them custody of Regal." He sighed and sat on his bed, dragging me with him. "Sarah's being difficult, apparently, which isn't surprising. He's here to try to find all the good things about us that he can use for our case. Apparently he has a list of negatives against her too. Hopefully this gets settled quickly. I wasn't supposed to be in the room, so I was sort of listening from the hallway."

I smirked, leaning over to kiss him. "You little rule breaker," I said against his lips. "I love it."

"Ryan," he whispered. "I'm really glad you're here."

He then laid his hand on my crotch. I held back a moan, eyeing the closed door.

"Sam," I warned. "Your dads are downstairs."

"And? They're busy." He pressed harder, rubbing a little bit. It felt really good.

His mouth moved to my neck. Giving me gentle kisses. Sometimes a little nibble. I wanted him so badly. But I knew we couldn't. Not right now.

"Sam," I tried again. "I love this confidence you've had lately, but we can't do this."

Suddenly he was a foot away from me, his eyes wide. "You're still a virgin, aren't you?" he whispered.

I laughed. "What? No."

"You've... you've done it before?"

"So have you. And you can't even say the word sex out loud."

He blushed but didn't try to correct me. I leaned over and gently kissed his lips.

"I want us to make it perfect. And having your dads and a lawyer sitting just downstairs is way too weird for me. Okay?"

Sam nodded. "Sorry." He then moved so he was right up next to me again. "You still never told me about what happened with your mom today."

"Right." So I told him. The rest of the night was spent just talking. About my mom. His mom. We even talked about more basic things. Like school. Our friends. Everything else in between.

All in all, it was a good day. All the way to the end of it.