Bad Intentions (Falling In Reverse)

Six: Fade To Black

Six: Fade To Black

~Bri~

“So, Lauren. Rumor has it Bri Thomas and Christofer Drew’s relationship is on the rocks.” the stupid, new, male co-host of New-Scene said to the slutty one that I’ve hated since before I became famous. She looks like a freaking Barbie doll. Why the hell do they have her working for the -as Alex calls it- ‘Alterative TMZ’? “Confirm or deny?” he asked, his overly bright smile almost blinding me. Even through the tv screen. I wonder how often he bleaches his teeth…

“Well, Jeff. The couple has yet to speak on it. But photos, mixed with an over heard phone argument between the two ‘love birds’” the bitch actually had the nerve to make air quotation marks. “At a recent show, have suggest that they won’t be together much longer. But, it seems like Bri and Ronnie Radke, lead singer of Falling In Reverse, have gotten extremely close over the few weeks that their bands have been touring together. And I’ve been told by an inside source that they’ve been getting VERY touchy.”

“Alright! Now that’s compete bullshit!” Ronnie and I yelled together, over powering what the other host, Jeff, said. Even though we were yelling out of anger, it somehow sounded like song lyrics.

“And you can’t forget about Connie Cruise and Christofer.” the slut -who’s name apparently is Lauren- chuckled again. I know she’s just doing her job, but I fucking hate her. “Their names sound so good together.”

Jeff laughed. “Yes, and they already have a couples name. Conofer.”

“Oh, gag me.” I hissed, balling my hands into fist. I could feel my nails digging into my skin, but I didn’t care. I was trying to hold in my anger because I was about 2.4 seconds from stealing a car, driving to the New-Scene station, and punching all of them repeatedly.

“If we try to fit Bri and Ronnie’s names together, we’ll either get Bri, or Ronnie.” that was Lauren this time. “It’s like they’re made for each other. Christofer is such a good guy and he picked Bri over all the girls he could’ve had? I really don’t understand what he sees in her, Jeff.”

Alex got up, grabbing the remote as he did, about to change the channel. But I grabbed his hand. “No.” I told him, trying to hold in the tears. “I want to hear this.”

Reluctantly, he put down the remote before throwing me a disapproving look. I ignored him and turned back to the tv.

They flashed the photo of me and Ronnie on the picnic table, then Lauren started running her big mouth again. “She’s obviously sleeping with him. Not to mention there were more rumors than I am able to keep up with about Bri being involved with Alex Tompkins, lead singer for Chasing Starz and also, best friend of Christofer Drew.” she shook her head, making her fake, over bleached hair hit her face dramatically. “Christofer will be better off without her, I believe. Ronnie and Bri would be a better pair. They’re both ‘rockers’” again, this bitch air quoted. “And completely messed up. Between Ronnie going to jail, and Bri trying to fight one of Never Shout Never’s fans, they’re the perfect couple.” she said bitterly. “I think--”

She was cut off by the sound of the remote smashing into the tv, obviously shattering the screen. “What the hell is wrong with these people?!” surprisingly, it was Ryan who yelled that. I‘ve never seen him angry before, but -judging by the smashed tv- it‘s a scary thing. “Don’t they realize that they’re the reason you two are having problems?! That’s not even okay!”

“She’s gonna get fired for that.” Ronnie said, his jaw tight. Probably from them bringing up him being in jail. I don’t blame him for being pissed about it. That was a low blow and completely unnecessary. “She’s defiantly not supposed to talk that much. I’ll make sure she never does that again. I’m sorry I’m causing problems, Bri.”

I somehow figured out how to move again and shook my head at him, trying to find my voice. I wasn’t even pissed at New-Scene anymore. I was just upset because I know Christofer probably saw all of that. And, due to his recent behavior, I know he’s starting to believe everything these people say. “Don’t even worry about, Ronnie. If it wasn’t you they were trying to pin this on, it’d be Ryan, or Alex, Jacky, Jake, Mika, Jesse, Aiden, Derek, David, or Zack. Hell,” I chuckled bitterly. “I wouldn’t put it past them to try to say I was sneaking around with Julz.”

“Don’t be upset, love. They’re all pricks.” Jacky said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders from behind the couch.

I held his hands, keeping his arms there before planting a light kiss on one of them. See? If New-Scene’s cameramen were here, that’d swear up and down that I’m fucking Jacky. It’s so stupid. “I’m not upset that they attacked me. I’m upset that they dragged Ronnie into this bullshit.” I told them, turning my head to look at Ronnie who was pounding keys on his iPhone. “I’m sorry I got you into this, Ronnie.”

He looked up from he phone. “Pshh.” he waved his hand at me. “No need to be sorry. They picked me because we’re closes, and we’re both the vocalist in bands that have popped up out of no where and became successful. I knew there would be drama. I’m surprised they didn’t add in something about Craig or Max.” he said, laughing like he didn’t give a shit about what was being said. But I knew better.

Julz sat down next to me, a sympathetic smile on her lips. “Chris probably--”

“Saw it.” I finished her sentence for her, nodding my head as Jacky’s arms squeezed me lightly, silently saying ‘It’ll be okay’. But I knew it wouldn’t be. Not for a while. “Yeah. I know.”

-----------------
*Three Weeks Later*
-----------------

The cool blade slowly slid over my skin, making a gash. The blood now ran freely down my arm. I took a deep breath, letting the pain soak in.

“Its over.”

Again, I slid the blade over my arm. But this time with more speed.

“We’re done.”

And again, I cut.

“I don’t trust you.”

“Every piece of evidence is against what you’re saying.”

“You lied to me.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“It’s over.”

With each sentence, a new cut was made. Even though that conversation happened days ago, I could still hear his voice like he was standing right in front of me. Like he was breaking my heart all over again. I replayed the scene in my head, over and over again. Trying to somehow find something that told me that he still cared. That he still loved me. But I couldn’t find anything.

Another six cuts. These were deeper because the scene replaying in my head was nearly over.

“Please…” I begged him. “I swear its not true.”

“I can’t trust you.”

Four more cuts.

“You lied to me.”

I began to shake and the blood dripping down my arm was making it hard to tell where a cut was already made.

“It’s over.”

Two more cuts.

“We’re done.”

Three more.

I reached for his hand as he turned away. “Christofer, please!”

Five more.

“Don’t.” he said, snapping his hand away from me like my very touch disgusted him. “I can’t do this anymore, Bri!” he yelled, pain clear in his voice.

I felt my consciousness began to slip. But I willed myself to say awake. I wasn’t done. I couldn’t fall asleep yet. I deserve this pain. I deserve if for putting Christofer through hell. 

“I was in love with you.” his words sent another attack of dangers into my chest, causing me to literally stumble backwards. Five words. As harmless as they may have sounded, the context it what hurt. ‘Loved’. Past tense. “Deeply. But now…” he looked down, shaking his head. “It’s over. We’re done.”

Tears rolled down my face as I switched to my leg, making the next eight cuts there.

“Bri? What are you doing in there?” Alex’s worried voice flew threw the bathroom door.

I ignored him and his frantic banging. “Go away, Alex.” I said in an emotionless voice before diving back into my memories.

“I’m sorry.” is what I try to say. But he cuts me off before I could finish.

“Save it.” he snapped. “This, us, whatever we were, its over. We’re over.”

Five more cuts on my leg. Then I was done. I let my arm hang limply out of the bath tub as I dropped the bloody box cutter on the floor. This may seem extremely dramatic of me, and believe me, I know it is. But I was on the edge when all the rumors started. The last few, mixed with Christofer breaking up with me, completely pushed me overboard.

As if breaking up didn’t hurt me enough, he actually flew all the way from Florida, in the middle of his tour, to Arizona just to do it. I never thought we’d break up, but I figured if we did, he’d at least have the decency to be nice about it. A few days after the New-Scene showed the picture of me and Ronnie, Christofer started acting…differently. He’s yelled at me more in the past few weeks than he has in the whole year we’ve been together.

Its this damn bus, these damn reporters, these rumors, the hate mail, the mobs of people calling me a whore. All of it added up to this:

Me. Sitting in a bathtub. Probably bleeding to death. But you know what? Right now, I don’t even care. Why? Because I know Christofer doesn’t. He made it very clear that all the feelings he once had for me were now gone. And that hurt. That hurt so bad.

“I feel the madness…creeping slowly,” I mumbled to myself, feeling my grasp on reality slipping. “Loved by many, I‘m still lonely…” I sang as I heard what I thought was Ronnie, Jacky, and Alex arguing about something on the other side of the door. I chuckled, thinking of how funny they probably look. “Paid the price for your mistake…” my eyes slid shut a bit right as I heard something hard bang against the door. I could hear Julz, Jake, Mika and Zack yelling about something. I could hear Ryan telling them to shut up. Derek, David, and Jesse having a yelling match about who brought the ‘missing’ box cutter onto the bus. I could also hear Aiden’s low voice saying something, all while Alex, Jacky, and Ronnie throw themselves at the door. Silly boys.

“Bri!” I’m guessing that was Alex screaming from the other side of the door. Or was it Ronnie? Or Ryan? I couldn’t tell. “Bri?! Talk to us, baby!” Ryan. Definitely Ryan.

“Lalala, lalala.” I sang, chuckling. The bathroom started to blur just as I heard the door make a loud crunching noise. Poor door. ‘These boys are so rude.’ I thought to myself as I let my eyes drop a little.

“Doll!” now that voice? Yeah. That voice I knew. It was Ronnie. I knew that for a fact. I felt his hands on my face, pushing my hair away from it. “Bri? Oh, babe. What did you do to yourself?” he asked this rhetorical question has he looked at my arm and leg. “Bri!” he yelled in panic, shaking my face a little when my lids slid close.

I opened my eyes to see a worried Ronnie a little too close to my face. I could also see Ryan, Alex, and Jacky behind him. Jacky was on the phone screaming profanities at someone. Then Ryan took the phone from him. I sleepily rolled my eyes at them before looking back at Ronnie. I gave him a smile. “The music died the day I walked away…” I sang happily. Then everything faded to black.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Author’s Note: CLIFFHANGERS. Gotta love them. (: Also, too much drama? O.o I feel like it was borderline too much. But I wanted to add in something crazy that no one was expecting. By the way…did anyone keep count on those cuts? It seemed like a lot. :o


Vomment (comment and vote) and Fan! :D Love ya for reading. (:

-Lexi Rain