Bad Intentions (Falling In Reverse)

Ten: Love Hurts And Karma's A Bitch

Ten: Love Hurts And Karma’s A Bitch

~Bri~

“Well,” Julz started in an unmistakable annoyed voice as she put her hands on her hips and took in my appearance. I’m sure I didn’t look too good in my skinny jeans with the belt unbuckled, the oversized shirt I barrowed from Ronnie, smudged eyeliner, and my hair in such a mess that it practically yelled ‘I just had sex’. I hadn’t planned on telling her, but the cat is clearly out of the bag now. “If you weren’t before, you are defiantly going to Hell now, Bri.”

Pushing past her, I rolled my eyes as I entered our bus running my hands through my hair in an attempt to get some of the knots out. It was useless, of course. Damn hairspray makes fixing ‘hook up hair’ so much worse. Honestly, someone should invent hairspray that keeps your hair in place even during sex. I bet every dollar I have that  they’d make millions. “I pretty sure my one way ticket to Hell was issued long ago.” I sighed. “Probably around the time I ‘broke the heart of Christofer Drew’.” I stated, repeating something I read on Twitter a few weeks ago.

Everyone had the whole situation completely backwards though. He broke my heart. Not the other way around. No one cares to hear my side of the story though. The only thing that matters to them is that the perfect Christofer Drew is okay. But it doesn’t even matter anymore. None of it does.

“So who was it, huh?” Julz asked, her tone growing angrier with each word. “Jacky? Ryan? Aiden?”

I stopped my search for a comb as she started listing off names. I can’t believe that she’s actually mad at me about this. Not to mention the fact that she thinks I‘d sleep with those guys. They‘re hot, yeah. But I wouldn‘t sleep with them. “Does it even matter, Julia?”

“Yes it does, Briana.” she told me as her eyes slipped away from my eyes. I saw her zero in on my -Well, Ronnie’s- shirt just as her eyes narrowed. That’s when I knew she figured out who it was. “Ronnie! It was that damn Ronnie Radke, wasn’t it!” even though her sentence started as a question, I knew it wasn’t. She just wanted me to confirm what she already knew. 

I sighed, not even bothering to try to deny it. What’s the point? “Yeah. It was Ronnie. But like I said, does it even matter? What’s done is done and cannot be undone.”

“Now you sound like Christofer.” she told me bluntly.

And I knew she was right. After all, I did just quote him word for word. But the sound of his name being spoken out loud still hurt. And the fact that she just compared me to him? Oh, that just made the pain even greater. “Christofer fucking Drew.” I said his name, the sound of it on my lips was honestly like venom. I’d spoken those three words before. And at the time, I completely hated everything about him and wanted nothing more than to be as far away from him as possible. Now it’s the opposite. I love him more than anything. But the last part still remains the same. I couldn’t bare being in the same room as him now. “Why am I hearing that name more now than when we were actually together?” I mumbled as I leaned over the counter. I could feel my eyes starting to sting. “I want nothing more than to forget him. But everyone is just making it so damn hard.”

“Well fucking Ronnie wasn’t going to help that process.” she told me, actually sounding like an adult for the second time on this tour. “That was probably the worst thing you could’ve done. It was honestly stupid as hell.”

“Yeah? Well I just did what everyone was saying I was doing anyway.” I told her honestly, wiping away a few of the tears that escaped. “Its not like it changes anything.”

Julz wrapped her arm around my shoulder, giving me a hug the best she could with the way I was standing. “Why do you try to act like you’re okay when you obviously aren’t?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I just…I don’t want anyone to worry about me anymore.”

“We’re gonna worry about you anyway, Bri.” she sighed. “Tell me exactly what’s wrong so we can talk about it.”

“I’m still in love with him.” was all I managed to get about before the tears I tried so hard to keep back for the past month came flooding out.

Is it just me, or is crying on tour buses over guys who don’t give two fucks about my feelings becoming a little too common?

----

After I stopped crying, took a shower, fixed my hair, and ate, I came to sit outside in the grass and play guitar. I just wanted to get my mind off of things and I figured this was the best way to do it.

A few minutes into my random strumming and idol singing, Ronnie came and sat down next to me with a huge smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes at him before stopping my strings. “Someone’s in a good mood, huh?”

He grinned. “That I am.”

I shook some hair from my face. “Good night?”

“Oh you have no idea.” he said with a wink.

I just laughed at him before going back to playing. After that, he just sat there with me, correcting lyrics and telling me what notes sounded bad together. Its like nothing changed at all. Like I wasn’t creeping out of his bed five short hours ago. This was different than when I’d slept with Christofer for the first time all those months ago. I guess that should show me that I loved him way before I even knew it.

“You’re going to do this one live before recording it, right?” Ronnie asked as he read the final draft of lyrics for Have Faith In Me.

I sighed, putting my guitar to the side as I gave thought to his question. “Is there even a reason for me to sing it now?” I asked honestly. “I mean, it’s not like it’ll change anything.”

Ronnie gave me a disbelieving look. “So, let me get this straight. Just because you feel like you can’t get Christofer back, you’re not going to release the song you wrote for him?”

I gave him a weak nod, a little in shock from actually hearing out loud that I wouldn’t get Christofer back. It hurt to hear it. A lot. But I pushed those feelings away for now. There’s no point in getting upset over something I already knew. “Yup.”

“Psh.” he waved me off as he stood up. “I’m gonna be blunt and say that’s dumb as hell.”

I flinched in shock at his tone. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” he said in the same tone as he picked up my notebook and started pointing it at me like he was about to give a lecture. Which, I have a feeling he is. “You have nothing to prove to anyone, and you never did. I know that’s why you started writing this. But look at it now. Every single lyric is from your heart, Bri. Not to mention the music was written by not only you, but everyone on this tour. I have never in my life seen so many musicians work on one song and it actually turn out this amazing.” he angrily pushed the bangs away from his face. “I’m not saying you have to sing it, but I am saying it will be a fucking waste if you don’t.” with that, he tossed the notebook in my lap and began to walk away.

I sighed, looking down at the book in my lap. Honestly, I knew he was right. About everything. At first, I didn’t see a point in even recording the song. But now I do. And now I know exactly what I was going to say when we play this live. “Ronnie.” I called behind him.

Shockingly, he stopped. “What?” he yelled over his shoulder.

I sighed. “When are we playing in LA?”

With a huge smug smirk on his face, Ronnie turned around and let out a Ronnie Radke chuckle. He knew he’d won. “Saturday.”

I cocked my head to the side, giving him a smirk of my own. “I guess I’m singing it on Saturday night then.”

----

“Bri!” Julz screamed as she hit me in the ribs with her skinny fingers.

I slowly opened my eyes, grabbing my side in pain. “What the hell, Julz?” I hissed at her as I pushed some hair out of my face. Why the fuck does she have to wake people up like that?

“You gotta see Christofer’s Twitter!” she yelled before running back to the couch. I could hear Alex and Zack talking about what was going on. But all I got from their conversation was something about Bryan Stars. Everything else was jumbled up.

Now I wanted to know what was going on. I rolled over and grabbed my phone, blinking until my vision cleared. 8 in the morning. Lovely. Now I won’t be able to go back to sleep. “Fuck this early shit.” I said with a sigh as I swung my legs out of the bunk and jumped down. Why I’m sleeping in the top bunk is a mystery. I think my band members think its funny when I pretty much fall on my face trying to get down. Damn being short. “What’s going on?” I asked as I walked to the front of the bus where everyone else was sitting.

“Everyone hates Christofer because he’s an asshole.” Mika said bluntly. “But then again, you already knew he is an asslone.”

I rolled my eyes at him and his tone of voice. “Not the perfect Christofer Drew Ingle! What could he have done to make people think such things?” I said in mock surprise. “Come on, for real, guys.” I crossed my arms. “What’s going on?”

Alex spoke next. “Don’t believe us? Check this out.” he turned the computer screen around to revel Christofer’s Twitter page. Which -for some reason- was refreshing about every two seconds.

I walked over to the screen and pulled it toward me. “What the hell…” I mumbled as I read all the hate on his page. I just read about seven post in a row calling him an arrogant asshole. “What did he do?” I asked no one particular. I didn’t care who answered, I just wanted to know what happened.

“He went off on Bryan Stars.” Jacky said from behind me, causing me to jump slightly. I didn’t even know he was on the bus, let alone that close. “Chris called him a joke. Poor chum was bawling after.”

I frowned at the screen as I continued to read. “When was this? These post are going back pretty far and still coming.”

“Two days ago.” Julz told me. “Alex talked to him earlier. He said Chris was all upset about all the hate or whatever.”

I shook my head as I stood back up. So now he understands what I was going through for six months. The only difference is, the things they were saying about me weren’t true. “Well,” I said, putting my hands on my hips and looking around the room. “I guess it’s safe to say that Karma’s a bitch.” 

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Author’s Note: Did anyone else see that interview? It was pretty bad. D: ANYWAY. The reason why I needed everyone to read this Author’s Note is because I need your help. Since this book is only about three chapters away from being over, I have to ask this question: Do you want there to be a Sequel? And if so, who do you want to be in it? Let me know in the comments!

Also, I wanted to address some messages (from the people who were legit mad and cursing me out. You know who you are) I got about the last chapter. It was a tad bit racy, yes. But, everything that happened in the last part of that chapter is completely PG-13. Honestly, I’ve seen things worse than that in PG-13 movies. All I can say is, if you don’t like that chapter, don’t read it. If you don’t like how I write things, don’t read my books. That is all.

Vomment and fan, darlings! Love you for reading! :D

-Lexi Rain