Bad Intentions (Falling In Reverse)

Fourteen: Frankly, My Dear...

Fourteen: Frankly, My Dear…

~Bri~

I laid in my bunk, staring up at the ceiling but not really seeing it. I was thinking about a lot of things. Mostly the things Nancy told me tonight. She made it seem like Christofer is just as messed up as I am about breaking up. I mean, that would explain the drug thing. But he made it very clear that he didn’t love me anymore.

‘But he never actually said it.’

I thought to myself. It’s true. He never actually said he wasn’t in love with me anymore. He just implied it. Could that mean maybe…No. I shouldn’t even hurt myself by hoping there’s a slight chance that he still loves me.

But if he does…would he say anything? He still thinks I have feelings for Ronnie…and I guess sleeping with him probably wouldn’t help that. But I guess it doesn’t really matter. I made my feelings clear tonight. And if he doesn’t believe me now…Its clearly not meant to be.

I sighed, rolling over at the thought of me and Christofer not meaning to be together. How could we not be? He saw me, what? Five, six years ago at a show? Then Julz and I just happen to meet him at his show? He shows up at Amos’, we go on tour, we fall in love. How could we possibly be meant to be with other people after all of that? And, after all the shit we’ve been through, we just give up like that? Just let each other slip away just like that with not so much as a tiny bit of a fight?

He was being an ass. We all know that for sure. But he had good reason. If he and Connie were as bad as me and Ronnie…Oh I would’ve raised Hell. Then I would’ve kicked his ass and Connie’s. I see now he had every right to be pissed at what I did. But I hadn’t seen it before. I guess Nancy was right when she told me that ‘you never see the problem while you’re causing it’.

I sighed. “That’s it.” I mumbled to myself, swinging my legs out of the bunk, hitting the floor with a soft thump. I ran over to my bags, searching through until a pair of dark blue skinny jeans appeared. After that, I ran to the door, grabbing a random hoodie and my phone before running down the steps and into the parking lot.

It’s pretty dark out here. But that didn’t matter. I looked around, making sure no one saw me as I ran at full speed to the FIR bus. Sadly, Ronnie was the only one smart enough to make us drag around his car. It seemed dumb at first, but now I was more than grateful.

Turning the handle, I slid inside as quiet as possible. I snuck past the bunks, freezing every time Derek stopped snoring for a few seconds to take a deep breath. Dodging the long tattooed covered limbs hanging out of bunks, I finally got the Ronnie’s room in the back. Taking a deep breath, I turned the knob.

Locked.

FUCK.

“Ronnie.” I whispered against the door, hoping that he would somehow hear me and open the door. No such luck, obviously. “Ronnie.” I whispered again before leaning against the door, sliding down it to sit on the floor. A tear slid down my cheek. “Damn it to hell.” why is this happening right now? Of all the nights Ronnie could lock his door, it just has the be the one night I need to get in there to get his damn car keys?! Doesn’t anyone ever think of anyone other than themselves?!

“Is there a time you’re not on this bus?” Mika said, hair all over his head as he hung upside down from his bunk at the top. These people clearly have a habit of giving the short people high bunks. Can you say fucking rude? “Is the sex really that good?”

I sighed, rolling my eyes at him. How long have I been on this tour? 8, 9 months? All this time, yet I‘m still surprised every time Mika says something extremely blunt. For real, I thought I was bad. But Mika? Mika truly has no filter. Everything he thinks just comes straight out of his mouth. “I just need his car keys, man.”

“That’s a first.” Mika said, rolling his eyes -to make fun of me, no doubt- before pulling his phone out and typing something up. “You’re welcome.” he mumbled before pulling his head back into the bunk.

I stared at the blank space where his head was hanging a few seconds ago, confused. Why did he--“Oufah!” I let out a shocked noise as the wall that was behind me disappeared.

“Bri?” Ronnie questioned, standing above me with messy hair and sleepy eyes. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Well,” I whispered, standing up and walking into his room. “I need your keys.” might as well get straight to the point. I do have a hour and a half hour drive ahead of me. Not to mention I’ve only had about an hour of sleep. Meaning, I’ll be stopping an awful lot.

He rubbed his eyes, making him look at bit younger. When Ronnie is tired, that tough persona he puts on is washed away completely. It’s always an interesting site to see. “My car keys?” he questioned, yawning for second time in a row. I suddenly felt bad for waking him up. “Why do you need them at 6 in the morning?”

I sighed, knowing he was going to give me a very long lecture once I told him where I was driving. “I’m driving to see Christofer.” I said honestly. What’s the point in lying when he would probably find out anyway? “I can’t…I can’t do it anymore. He’s the one, Ronnie.”

And just like that, the sleepy look was wiped from Ronnie’s face. Now he’s looking at me like I‘ve gone crazy. Which I probably have. “You‘ve completely lost your mind, haven‘t you?” he asked flatly, sounding like Mika.

I shrugged, giving him a slightly tired look. “Probably, yes.” I sighed. “Look, you know I don’t believe in this soul mate shit. We’ve talked about it. But, I’ve had my heart broken countless times before, and this is nothing like those time. I…” I sighed, searching for the right words. “Its like I can’t breath. Like my heart has been torn in half. All I want to do is forget the whole thing, but I honestly can’t at all. Not even for a second.” smacking away a stupid tear that escaped my eye, I continued. “I just feel so goddamn empty without him, Ronnie. I know he said we’re done, but I’ll beg him to take me back every day for forever if I have to.” with that, all the tears I’ve been holding in for weeks came flooding out.

And just like every other time I finally broke down, Ronnie pulled me into a hug. Where is Alex and Julz when I’m crying? Asleep. Some best friends those two are. I should replace them both with Ronnie. Hell, it seems like I have already. “I thought you were gonna wait until he sees the video.”

“That could take weeks.” which is true. Before this NewScene bullshit started, Christofer never paid attention to outside shit. He didn’t care about anything other than what was happening on the tour he was on. Nothing else mattered. I’m not sure if he’s gone back to that or not, but after what his Mother told me last night/earlier, I think it’s safe to assume he has. “I can’t wait any longer.”

“Alright, look.” Ronnie said, pulling back to stare at me. “Normally I’d say you’re out of your damn mind, but I see what you’re saying here, and I understand. But you look like you haven’t had any sleep. So I’m not giving you my keys right now. I paid too much money for that car.” he told me, causing me to laugh as I sat down on his bed.

I knew he was right. But I don’t think taking a nap on Ronnie’s bed is really going to help this Christofer situation. However, I do feel like I could pass out, and it is still dark outside. “Only an hour.” I told him. As I laid down on his pillow. All I remember is Ronnie laying next to me. Then I completely passed out.

Damn. I really was tired.

----
~Christofer~

“I said I’d never let you go, and I never did!”

Bri let out those last lyrics like it was a shout, rather than her singing. That almost made me laugh because I know that’s what she does when she’s really into a song. The fact that she was getting so into a song she wrote for me meant a lot. Not to mention what she said before she even started singing. Even though NewScene had a lot of evidence of Bri and Ronnie messing around…for some reason, I believed every word Bri said on the video. 

Whoever recorded the video was pretty damn close to the stage and had a really good camera too. I could see her face clearly. Which helped with me coming to the conclusion that she was telling the truth. Bri can say what she wants, but her eyes always tell the truth. I don’t know why the hell I didn’t pay attention to that before.

“So,” Hayden said, closing his laptop and turning to look at me. “You heard what she said, you heard the song. Personally, I believe her. I know Bri. She loves you and she wouldn’t get up there, on stage, in front of all of her fans, with their cameras out, and lie through her teeth. And I know you know that. So now tell me this: what are you gonna do, Chris?”

I sighed, thinking. Honestly, after all the shit I did to her for -what I see now- no reason, would she really even want me back? I owe her a million and one apologies. And even then, I still won’t be able to tell her how incredibly sorry I am. Plus, Bri is the most stubborn person in the world. Even after everything she said, it would probably take her months to fully forgive me for acting like an ass in the few weeks before I left her.

Damn it…why the hell did I leave her in the first place? I should’ve listen to my friends. I should’ve listened to Alex most of all. He was right there on tour with her. He told me time after time that nothing was going on between Bri and Ronnie. Yet, I didn’t believe him. And I should’ve.

“Look, man,” Hayden said, laying a hand on my shoulder. “I see you over thinking things. I know you’re probably thinking about how bad you were to Bri when this shit first started, but check it, we all make mistakes. However, not all of us get the chance to fix ours. But you do. So don’t waste it, bro.”

I thought for a moment, trying to come up with some way to beg Bri to give me a second chance. Calling her wouldn’t due. That’s how we go into this mess in the first place. Not being face to face.

That’s when it hit me. We have to be face to face. That’s the only way to do it. I immediately jumped up, searching for my jacket and the keys to the rental car Paul gets us in each state. I never thought it was a good idea until now. I ran to the back, picking up my phone and dialing Alex’s number.

To my surprise, he picked up after the second ring. “Yeah?”

I grabbed my guitar case and a backpack, stuffing random clothes into it. Does it really matter what I take? Not really. I don’t even know why I’m taking clothes. “Where are you guys?”

He was quiet on the other line. “LA. Why do you ask?” he questioned, clearly growing curious.

I ignored the strange looks Hayden and Taylor were giving me as I ran around the bus like a mad man, stuffing stuff into my backpack. Just as I was about to give my plan a second thought, the ring I was going to give Bri fell out of my pocket and onto the floor. I looked down, staring at the ring as I picked it up and held it in front of my face. Fuck what the universe has to say. I’m gonna marry that girl. “I’m on my way there. I coming to get Bri back.” I told not only Alex, but Hayden and Taylor too.

Alex started laughing for the other end of the line. “About damn time, Chris! Get your ass to The Venue!”

I smiled, nodding toward Hayden and Taylor as I ran out of the bus, phone, guitar case, and backpack in hand. “Yeah. I’ll be there in two hours.” with that, I hung up, throwing my stuff in the backseat of the red Audi sitting in the parking lot.

Just as I was about to get in the drivers seat, Connie ran over to me, grabbing onto my jacket and pulling away from the car. “Where are you going, babe?”

“To see Bri.” I told her honestly, pulling away from her. To be truthful, I’ve been pretty mad at Connie since she went to the hospital and told Bri me and her were together. It was a total lie that Connie had everyone believing. I didn’t have the energy to even attempt to correct them, so I just went along with it, not really caring. I was pretty shocked when Connie totally changed like that though. First she was on Bri’s side, then all she wanted was for Bri to be out of the picture. Funny how Connie changed sides to quickly, huh?

“Excuse me?” she questioned, putting a hand on her hip.

I rolled my eyes. Connie is not as assuming as Bri when she’s annoyed. Connie is just plain irritating when she’s like this. “Pretty sure you heard me the first time, hun.”

“Why the hell are you going to see her?” she snapped. “I’m your girlfriend and I don’t want you hanging out with your ex!”

I raised my eyebrows. “Stop it, Connie. Seriously. You know we’re not together. Just last week you said ‘Your not taken, but your heart is’. We both know I’m in love with Bri. So stop pretending like we’re something more than friends.” I started getting into the car. I can’t stand being away from Bri any longer. All the feelings I thought I was pushing back have suddenly caught up with me.

Connie slammed her hands against the window repeatedly, yelling at the top of her lungs. “What am I supposed to do now?!” I heard her scream. She must be pretty loud if I can hear her through the window…

Starting the car and putting it into gear, I rolled the window down, staring at Connie as she stood next to the car looking furious. She really does have some anger issues that need to be dealt with. But what do I say to answer her question? I smiled when I thought of what Bri would say. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” with that, I hit the gas leaving a very pissed Connie for Hayden, Taylor, and everyone else to deal with.

When I get back, they’re probably gonna be pretty ticked off with me. But that doesn’t matter. So what does matter? The fact that in only two hours, I’ll be with the girl I’m in love with. And for that, I’m willing to face hell.

----

~Bri~

I was being shaken. And someone is calling my name over an over again. Doesn’t anyone has respect for the people who are asleep and need to rest? Like, damn. Can’t I get a nap without someone interrupting.

“Bri!” Alex. It was Alex yelling my name. Why is he in Ronnie’s room? Why is he on FIR’s tour bus at all? Why is he even up? When I laid down, it was like 6am. It can’t be any later than 6:30. “Get up!”

I slowly opened my eyes, the light blinding me as I did so. Since when does Ronnie open his curtains? Like, seriously. He uses this room like a cave. His curtains are black and everything. “What, Alex?” I snapped, still trying to gain some type of conciseness. I feel like I’m drunk. Everything is blurry. This is why you don’t jar people from their sleep. It disorientates them.

“Chris is outside.”

My eyes flew open, all signs of sleepiness wearing off immediately. “Christofer is where?” I asked, trying to make Alex repeat himself so I could make sure I’d heard him correctly.

Alex smiled, shaking my face like he used to do when we were younger. Damn, I hate when he does that when I’m just waking up. “You heard me right.” he said, reading my mind. “Christofer is outside. So get your ass up.”

He hadn’t even finished his sentence before I threw the cover off and bolted out of the room, to the bus door, ignoring everyone and pushing away anything in my path -people and all- as I made my way to the parking lot. I looked around, totally confused as I looked for the tall boy with long, messy, brown hair. But all I saw was a red Audi that didn’t look familiar.

I turned in a full circle, scanning the parking lot for signs of movement but I came up short. Did Alex trick me into getting up? He must have. I swear to God I’m gonna fucking kill--

“Bri.”

I froze at the sound of that voice. The voice I knew so well. The voice that was the soundtrack of my life for the longest. The voice that I hadn’t heard in person for months. I turned around, expecting to see the boy with long, messy, brown hair I was looking for. But instead, I turned around to see a guy with black and green hair. I frowned at him, looking at the rest of his body. There were more tattoos than I remember. A lot more. In fact, there was barely any room left. He was different, older seeming…but I like it. I love the ink that covers his skin, I love the black and green hair that makes him stand out, I love the ugly hat he’s wearing, I even love the fact that he’s standing here, in front of me, in the middle of a big, dirty ass parking lot with no shoes on.

The man standing in front of me? The one who’s here with ripped up jorts, a crumbled jacket, ugly hat, dull brown shirt, tired eyes, crazy colored messy hair, and is barefooted? Yeah. He looks like a crazy bum, but I swear to God I love him more than words can express.

But me being me, of course ‘I love you’ weren’t my first words in two months to him. Instead, I avoided even going there. For just a little while, I want to act like things are normal. For that reason, and because I’m Bri fucking Thomas, my first words to him where: “What the hell did you do to your hair, Christofer?”
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Author’s Note: All you Team Christofer people should be happy about his chapter. :D To the heart broken Team Ronnie people, I shall make it up to you in Reality Check. The prologue for that book is now up and chapters will be posted soon. (:

Also, get ready to find out why the this book is called “Bad Intentions”. I know y’all thought you knew…but cha didn’t! ;D

Vomment and fan! Love you for reading! :D

-Lexi Rain