The broken bulimic

Part 4: 3 days and counting

It's been about three days since the bathroom incident. I felt more alone and hurt than ever but I couldn't talk to Nathan not now. I felt a pang in my chest knowing I'd lost something but my face never showed it.
I looked cold hearted and mean now, according to the rumors around the school that I was out to get people.
My face was always in a mad position and I was seriously on edge. I couldn't help it though, haven't I been hurt a lot? Don't I deserve to at least be able to walk away with some sort of dignity?
I sigh and stare across the court yard at Nathan, who was talking to a cheerleader. He was usually always smiling regardless to who he talked to but today he looked distracted.
I scoff, "He shouldn't of opened the door, for all he knew I could've been peeing." I rest my head on my knees. "But...I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss his cooking, not that there's anything else I miss about him."
I play with the grass, and sip some water as I watch clouds go by. It was peaceful "Hey you! Fat cow!" Well it was...
"What?" I look up to see two girls in my class both very pretty but very angry. "Hahaha, you throw up yet?" I was super worried "Pardon?"
"Don't play all innocent with me! You throw up whatever you eat right?"
My heart beats quickly and I shake my head violently no. One of them scoffs "Funny story because we heard from the football team captain that you did."
I was about to knock Nathan's lights out "And who told him?" Anger was clearly in my voice but these girls didn't back down. She laughs "oops...I forgot oh no!" Playing innocent I stand "Fine then, I'll see for myself."
"You need a doggy bag too? Or are disgusting toilets your main tool?" She laughs and pretending pokes a finger into her mouth. "Aww you just want to be skinny but even starving wasn't enough! When will you realize that this isn't going to either." She laughs and I leave.
I walk like those anime characters do when they mean business
because well I do.
"Aye! Jerk wad!, you spreading rumors?" I yell to him and keeping my angry composer I wait.
"Wh-what? Dee? Rumors?" He looked lost and I clarify for him "The girls, how did they know about the bathroom thing! No one was there but me and you!"
The two boys behind him laugh and snicker, probably taking this out of context.
"Wait! Delilah I'd never do that to you! Please I've been framed I'm-" I cut him off "You have the nerve to spread something as personal as an eating disorder! That's absolutely disgusting! That hurts Nathan! I thought you were my friend!"
He glares "Hold on now! I didn't do this! And some friend you are! Slamming a stall door in my face and puking while I stand there!"
Everyone was staring, I grab his wrist and take him into a classroom so I could talk without their eyes watching us.
"Look," I sigh "Please don't talk about this you have no idea how hard this is for me and-" "Delilah" he tries to talk but I keep on "It hurts so much to not have control over a side of me it's like I'm a robot that only eats and sleeps. I don't know what to do though so I'm stuck!" "Delilah I-"
"Please let me finish, I know I talk too much but I'm getting to a point here...."he nods "I'm stuck....I can't find a way out. I have no clue how to control myself or how to live with this without puking my guts up after every meal. I'm tired of it, and I wanted you to understand but you wouldn't because you're a guy and you don't have my problem."
He looked confused "What problem Delilah? It's no shame in wanting to lose weight or to eat however, you're fine the way you are," I scoff "As if, I'm ugly and I'm fat."
"Would you shut up with that?" He looked actually mad at me. "Listen Delilah, I'm here for you and I'm always happy to help but if you want my advice you're going on and on about something you should woman up and fix yourself! You have power over what happens and you know inside you do! So stop actin like a child and when you eat your food know this...." he looked like he was about to explode "Know that I think you're perfect even if no one else does! Know what you mean to me and that if you're not doing this you'll...you'll die! And I'll be the one alone!
If you dare do that to me Delilah Jones I promise you that I will never forgive you! Hear me?! "
I gasp in honest shock ".......B-but, I'm....not perfect I'm not I'm-"
"Do you want to know what perfect is Delilah?" His face was stern and I took note that he'd stepped closer. "Perfect is the girl i know who loves to scarf down my homemade lunches, who smiles and watches the clouds at the court yard everyday, and actually is willing to put up with a cocky idiot like me! That girl doesn't starve and doesn't purge! Can you bring her to me?"
My heart beats at a thousand miles an hour and I'm just so surprised. "I think I'm going to be sick..."I say honestly I wasn't sure what was happening with me it was weird. "I'm...I'm sorry Nathan but I don't think that girl is alive anymore."
I run to the bathroom and let it all out. I felt so disgusting and icky that I was totally cool with sitting on the cold, hard bathroom floor for the rest of my life because that's what i deserved to be walked on... I was a horrible person to Nathan.
I hear the door swing open. I look up to see Nathan. "I'll bring her back to life then! I won't give up on you! You're not going to let me do that! So get up off your face and let me help you!"
He had tears for real tears in his eyes. I'd never seen a boy cry...ever. I smile and speak "You just don't give up do you?"
I slowly stand sigh "I'm sorry...for everything I did." He nods "It's just fine."
His eyes have concern and happiness swimming in them. Their blue hue showing more with the tears. "Dee, if I have to watch you after you eat I'll do that. Because no one starves or purges on my watch, even if I'm calling every night I'll make sure to hear you promise that your food stays in your system. "
His words sound sad but I felt a warm hearted feeling as he spoke. "What did you see when you ran into that overly skinny girl in the hall last year?" He smiles "I saw a girl broken and in need, and I was willing to try and be her knight in shinning armor..."
I nod slowly "You never saw a ugly,  fat, and bloated girl?" He shakes his head.
It was starting to click, if I actually have some help could I get through this? Maybe it was too much for me to handle on my own...or maybe I'm just overly dramatic.
"Delilah...I think I love you." .......nope that's Nathan's job. He blushes slightly and I feel my cheeks heat up slightly too. He likes someone like me?
"I think I'm going to be sick again."  I Collapse....