The broken bulimic

Part 7: he found me

I sit up and wipe the stray hairs from my forehead. "Ugh" Adrenaline rushing through me, I felt a very bad twist in my gut whenever anything made a noise. It's not like those Lifetime movies, you don't have time to react. It just hits you and then your left afraid.
Gulping I feel the pain of a blade hit my wrist. "It hurts..." I say then cry out and begin again. It's not normal I know but in some strange, sick way it helps.
They never know what could go on in the bathroom of an ordinary bulimic girl. In my case cutting and purging...again, and again , and again. There's nothing left of me now.
I cut again and again. It hurt and I turn my eyes away from streams of red. "Dee? What's going o-o-nnnn?" My dad stands in the door way, his fingers twitch. I sigh "dad, just calm down, it's no big d-"
"I-I just witnessed you purge, there are a thousand wrappers in  your room...you are seriously in need of help."
He looks down at my wrists "no, oh heck no! You're not a depressed person! Not my daughter! Stop that! Now!" He points at the knife in my hand. It was dirty and rusty because it was the closest one to my room, I didn't want to make a noise so I got the closest I could to the knife holder and grabbed the first one. Which, unexpectedly was the one that was least used.
He grabs the peroxide and up caps it. Taking a rag and soaking it in it. "Geezs dad please it going to hurt even more now!" "I don't want you getting an infection! " he presses it and I hiss, I scream at the pounding pain in my wrist. It hurt so badly and I was ready to punch his face so hard that he's fly back in time to never see my problems.
Once he was done, he wipes my wrist clean and I cry "wait daddy! Please  I don't want to go back! I can't!"  Cleaning up my mess he nearly hurled himself. "Seriously Dee," he'd say or "This is disgusting" It made me feel worse honestly, I was beginning to think he'd changed his outlook on me completely.
He growls  "Bath, bed now!" He leaves out the door
I sit there with the door open and a burning taste in my mouth.
It's one of those unbelievable things, I never thought he'd hear me. Ever.
I step into the bath and let it ease my tummy pain and then brush my teeth.
Once into bed like he asked he stepped into the room. "Dee. I don't want to make you go, but listen if there's a chance this can stop then count me in."
"Just like mom, you throw me into a building to avoid your problems, same thing with Amelia. You two never lasted two months...because all you could do is focus on yourself."
He sighs "look Dee-" "no dad! Listen to me! I'm not going it won't help! Because I'm suffering from something that isn't helped by your typical procedures..." I sigh "if you want to help me...you can start by being as kind as Nathan. Sure he's concerned but he doesn't want to shove me and my issues away...he wants me to be with him, he wants me to recover with his help! Because he personally cares unlike those women in white!"
He was tearing up. "I'm sorry Dee, I love you but it's not going well, I don't know you like your mother does....in fact maybe you should stay with her for a while."
I gasp remembering the past "no! I'm not! " "it's either her or the help center! You've got a choice!"
I sigh with tears in my eyes. "I-okay."
Here we go again, did I mention  how unhappy I was?