The broken bulimic

Part 5: well that's depressing

I sit up, feeling a pounding headache. It was as if someone was hitting a church steeple bell on my head. "Ouch," I hold it and slide around the bed.
The white fabric of the sheets was warm and comfortable, "I feel horrible." I say in a really raspy voice, I wondered how long I'd been out.
"Acid in the esophagus, small slits on her hand, and weak enamel...yep girlie you're a mess." I look up to see the nurse who was examining my body. "What?"
The nurse was very tan, like a Greek's skin and had long blonde hair. "Yep, yep, yep. Let's check your stomach." She presses against my tummy and lower abdomen.
"Oh you've been eating a lot huh sweetie?"
I nod and confusion written in my expression must be showing because she speaks "Your little friend carried you in here, you've been out for about three hours... yep, yep, yep you have."
Her bubbly attitude was starting to grind on my nerves.
"So your saying that Nathan carried me here?" She nods "Scared boy, poor thing was sweating he ran from the other side of the school. But I made him go back to class because life is not a soap opera children."
I sigh "Am I good to go?" She pops a jelly bean in her mouth. "I need to give you some medicine and have a call from your parents to let them know the issue, it's a legal thing."
I immediately stand "But I'm fine! There's no reason to call my parents. Please,"
"Did I ever tell you I wanted to be a criminal investigator? I have a passion for figure things out..." Annoyed by her but slightly curious I play along "So why didn't you?"
She giggles "I hoped you'd ask, well collage expenses and years in studies were out of the question. I needed a good playing job asap, once my husband divorced me and I was left with my three year old child, I wanted to be sure that if i was getting a job It would be near my daughter -"
"Ohh so you'd be able to take care of her ?" I smile at the warm thought. She shakes her head "No silly so I'd be able to teach her the horrors of this world. SHE ISNT IS SAFE! EVILNESS LURKS EVERYWHERE...AND SHE WONT BE LEFT ON A IM A TEEN AND PREGNANT REALITY SHOW!!!" She breaths to calm down and I'm officially outta there.
I slip her my father's number in exchange to leave now. She agrees, and I race to class.
After drawing attention to myself after walking into class, I see Nathan sitting where he always does.
Standing in front of him I watch his eyes raise and his gasp. "D-Delilah! Oh thank God!" He hugs me.
I stood there, don't get me wrong I'm totally fond of hugs and totally cool with a nice guy being a nice guy and taking me to the nurses office when I needed to go, but hugging in front of a classroom of students and a teacher too wasn't the best thing for my image at the moment.
The teacher speaks up after writing different equations on the board. "Alright kiddos, this is not Romeo and Juliet sit down."
We do as told and I make eyes contact with him. "S-sorry." I whisper to him and he nods smiling.
"I'm glad your okay...so...d-do you maybe like me too?"
I wasn't ready for that yet. Already I'd managed to faint today and I wasn't ready to again. I was also feeling the symptoms of a binge coming on.
I like Nathan I seriously do but it wasn't like I'm the best girl for him. He's a football player and cooks like a pro... in a binge eater that throws up that amazing food and slams doors in the faces of those who care most for me.
"P-please... can we not talk about this now? " I sigh and he slumps slightly disappointed in his chair but let's it slide.
"Today we will do a diagram of a cell. Using candy now is anyone allergic to peanuts?"
The teacher smiles and tries to begin our assignment. I slowly feel myself shake and frown. I raise my hand slowly but everyone around me knows it's a lie.
"Anyone else who isn't trying to starve?" The teacher dares to say this...I want to die and as the room fills with reactions of all kinds. Including the typical gasps and several smirks from snooty kids.
We begin, "take the Oreo apart and stick the jelly beans inside, "
Candy...Oreos...eat, food good, yummy, sweet, eat it all!
"Next take your sour straws and surround it to make the cell wall,"
Sour, sugar, sweet, give me....
"Now repeat several times to represent duplicates of the cell made during mitosis and-"
Munch. Crack. Bite.
"Uh....Delilah? Are you eating your project?"
Looking down I realize I'd eaten all 5 Oreos, 2 straws, and 45 jelly beans I'd been given.
This was so embarrassing...I was still in shock and looking over at Nathan, all I see is sadness.
"It wasn't me, you don't get it I never wanted to-" several laughs erupt. "Watch her puke it all up!"
"Aww is the little baby gonna cry?" "So pathetic, it's really disgusting. No one will like her now."
Several girls hold up a phone. "Say miss piggy!" Click. "Aww she's crying guys! This is Facebook and snapchat gold!" I place a hand over my mouth "no,"
Standing I watch as they snap pictures and several of them even come up to me and knee me in the stomach. The teacher stood in shock at the scene but finally takes action and throws them off me. Beaten and bloody I stand in front of Nathan in my lowest form. "Nathan....."tears stream my face. "I'm sorry. But I don't love you! I can't!" I watch his eyes widen and his heart bust. With an understanding expression he nods. "I hope you understand....I can't do this. Therefore I can't love you...i am a ticking bomb! If I ever love you as you love me you'll be held down with my problems forever because it's not going away!"
Running out of the classroom right then and there I make a choice. Screaming as loud as I can "I'm done! I'm done with it all! I'm done trying to face them! I can't live like this."
Can't live? Can't? Live?
I can't live...I won't live...not for long. Running to the school lunch room I grab a small knife, thinking long and hard about my plan. "Forgive me father," I pray,
"For I am about to sin..."

Authors note: it's so dark in here. *clicks light bulb* better! Soooo yeah this is very sad and I almost cried writing it but don't worry! It will be okay *hugs you*
On another note does anyone have a favorite Disney movie song. Right now Pocahontas: Colors of the wind is stuck in my head and I like it so much!