That Was Then, This Is Now

Part 14

I can say that the honeymoon period of song recording lasted all of five minutes between Tim and I. I am a passionate person, I'll fight for what I want. So does Tim. So if I want to sing the first three words in the key of D sharp and his harmony around there I'm going to insist that it should be.
"Faith, I can only reach that in a falsetto." He said.
"No. You think that, but you and both know that you can." Byron interrupts over the speaker system. I gave him an I told you so glare like no other, likely worsened by the intense bags under my eyes. I had very little sleep last night. My chat with the girls was followed by the receiving at least 10 angry voice mails from Scott about why his stuff was in boxes outside, why the locks were changed and attacking each of my greatest insecurities. I knew Tim could tell my mood was off as soon as I stepped in the room but he doesn't get to care. At least Betty was here. I need a mom hug and she really provided on all fronts. It's 3 o'clock. We've been arguing back and forth since 9 am. This song is no where near recorded. I know it usually takes weeks, I just thought we were fast tracking but at this pace clearly not.
"Okay you two. We're gonna break for lunch. Please sort out whatever you two have got going on. I can't work like this." Byron says shaking his head. I feel bad. Everyone here believes in the song. It's a great song. The band was here all night cranking out the music and now we're letting them down. It's easier to get along when you're playing for the cameras. Now that it's us in here with people who know exactly what the situation is we're almost back to square one. We step out of the recording booth and are met by Jack and Gary. Here we go.
"Get in the conference room. Now." Says Gary.
"We need you two to cut the crap right now." Says Jack as we sit down. I feel like I'm in the principals office. "We get that y'all can have creative differences but you can't seriously be creatively different on every god damn decision." They're mad and I get it.
"We want this to be over just as fast as you two do. But the longer this takes the longer your gonna have to wait to do press and the longer we're gonna be in this." Gary reasons. He's right. I need to shut up and just record the song.
"Okay." Says Tim. "I'll stop arguing." Here we go. And cue every single time he gets asked anything at press he'll just say 'I just do what she tells me to.' Classic Tim move.
"Good." Says Jack.
"Y'all have the studio till 9. Please finish it tonight. Byron is trying his hardest and we know y'all can make this a hit so please just dig deep." Gary says.
"Oh and Tim, you and your mom are dropping Faith at the four seasons when we wrap tonight." Says Jack. I let out a groan. Surely that's a prank.
"We have dinner reservations at 7:45 so I don't know if it will work." Tim lies. I know that tone. He's trying to get out of it.
"Well make it work. We need to promote the hell out of you two and one friendly dinner at the bluebird isn't gonna cut it." Jack says to him.
"Noted." Tim sighs.
"Anything else?" I ask. I'm going to cry. I can feel it my nose. This is all a lot to handle all at once. Scott, a new song, living in a hotel room, Tim, angry managers, relentless promotion, PR people.
"Nope." Says Gary. I get up quickly and make my way out of the room, towards the bathroom. I lock the cubical and slide to the ground, trying to hold myself together. I come undone all at once. I feel the weight of the situation fully for the first time. I'm a 35 year old once divorced, 3 times called of engaged, sad childless, single singer who struggling to top charts that is now having to record a song about the hardest thing she's ever experienced with the culprit. I sob loudly. I'm the sad girl in a lifetime movie that is perpetually unfulfilled.
"Faith? Honey, is that you?" I hear a sweet southern accent from outside the stall. "It's me, Betty." Of course. Now to add insult to injury let's add the mother of the man who broke my heart and then crushed it.
"Ah, Yeah. Sorry I'll be out in a second." I release between now quiet sobs.
"No, honey it's okay. Tim said you ran off upset. He wanted me to come check on you." Of course. I would pay good money for the floor to just swallow me up right now.
"I'm fine." I assure her.
"Open up. Please." She says softly. I give in and open the door. "Oh sweetie." She opens her arms and embraces me. I can tell she feels sorry for me, I don't want pity but I could really use a hug.
"You don't have to to console me." I say pulling away from her.
"Yes I do. Just because you stopped loving each other doesn't mean I stopped loving you like a daughter." And I start bawling my eyes out again.