That Was Then, This Is Now

Part 16

KNOCK. KNOCK.
I lift myself off the couch and look at the clock on the wall. It's 9:30 already, I usually don't sleep in this late.
KNOCK. KNOCK
jesus. Who is that? Oh lord. It must be Betty and I look like warmed up death. I wrap a blanket around me and go to the door, quickly opening it for her.
"I'm so sorry Betty." I say. "I have just slept like a baby. Come in I'm just going to have a shower." I say leaving her in the living room. Thank god the hotel room is still tidy. I love that four seasons hospitality. I quickly shower and put in some jeans and a sweatshirt.
"Ah sweetheart you're back and fresh." Says Betty as I walk in. "You want some coffee?" I nod yes and take a seat at the kitchen island while she floats around the kitchen making us each a cup. "So you wanna tell me why you're living in hotel room?" She says stirring and raising an eyebrow.
"Uhhhh."
"Come on now child."
"Scott. We broke up and I needed to get away while he moved out."
"Oh." She sounds betrayed almost, like how dare I have had a boyfriend but I know she's to kind to mean it like that, and besides it's not like Tim's be celibate.
"Yeah I mean it could be worse." I laugh looking out at the view, though it doesn't compare much to Tim's penthouse view.
"Well at least you're safe." I know Betty's history and I think she's coming from a place of wanting to make sure I'm okay but all this love she's throwing at me is making me crumble.
"Here's your coffee. I hope you still drink it like him." Tim. We drink our coffees the same. Except I don't know if he still does because with abs like those he probably doesn't go around sprinkling two sugars in every cup.
"Thank you so much Betty. And not just for the coffee, for checking up on me and everything." I say.
"It's okay baby. I just want what's best for you, even if that ain't Tim." She half laughs.
"He's a good man Betty." I release. It feels weird to say out loud because there's the whole issue with him literally destroying me and all.
"You don't have to say that Faith. We both know he has his demons, but you're right underneath that he is a good man." His demons. I know all about them, I accepted them, I wanted to work with him on them.
"Yeah but it looks like he's come a long way." I say to her.
"I was worried at first, how much weight he lost and how he just started bulking up and it was happening so quickly I though it would be short lived but he's committed and really doing a lot better."
"I'm glad he has people like you and Jack around him. God knows if he was still-" I stop myself. This is her son.
"I know. If he was still using, where would he be?" I think about that a lot. Jesus we could've lost him and imagine how destroyed I'd be then.
"Well he's not. And he's doing well." I say.
"He is." She smiles. It only hits me now how devastated Betty would've been if something had happened to Tim. She loves him so much, she had him so young they basically grew up together. "And you Faith? How are you doing?" Don't cry. Don't cry.
"I'm good, apart from my breakdown yesterday I'm good." I laugh.
"Why was that? What happened yesterday to set you off?" She asks concerned.
"I guess I just got caught up in old feelings and forgot how to forgive." I surmise.
"How so?" She asks.
"I remembered what it was to be hurt by someone I trusted."
"Tim." She says, not a question but a statement.
"Yes." I say unable to meet her eyes.
"Oh honey." She says coming over to me. "It's okay to be mad at him for what he did." She says leading me to the couch.
"It's not that. I can get over him succumbing to his demons. We work through that." I say feeling the tears begin to form. "After it happened I found out, I ran to the hospital to see him and when I got there he had been resuscitated and was in his bed." The flood gates open. I've never told anyone this before and now I'm telling his mother. "He didn't look at me, he just told me to go. I said that if he wanted anything to call me. I stood at the door and looked at him and felt my heart ache for him because i loved him Betty!" I exclaim.
"I know you did."
"And then he turned to me and said, 'I don't need you Faith, I don't love you.' And that's when I crumbled." Oh god. Why did I tell her that. She holding me tightly as I calm down.
"He wasn't in his right mind." She reasons.
"I told him to call me later, I knew he was still ill but neither him or Jack or anyone ever called me. I got froze out."
"Oh Faith. I'm so sorry you've had to cope with this alone for so long."
"Please don't apologise to me." I say leaning against her chest. "I've come to terms with this whole thing as how it had to end, because all good things do. Now I just need to work on forgiving and forgetting."