Understanding Me

A Murderer

As I walked down the halls of the helicarrier I could feel all eyes on me. How could everyone know about the 'thing' that happened to me? It's only been two hours since the conversation in the information room and the word has already spread. Since then all I've been doing is practicing my punching in the gym, trying anything to distract from the conversation earlier, the same words playing in my brain, 'different realm'.

I walked into my room and flopped on the bed. I still don't know what happened to me, who I am, and where I come from. If I didn't come from this planet does this mean my family were aliens too? Or where they just humans who had to look after me? Or did they adopt me and didn't know about the secret super power? But they must have known something was up after the thing with my sister. Thinking about it, she might not have even been my biological sister, but she was my sister at heart. She was so young and innocent, she was my best friend, I wonder what she'd say now?

After moping round my room for half an hour, I decided to go and get myself some dinner, I was starving and don't think I would last the rest of the night. I left my room and headed for the cafeteria on the other side of the ship. "What the hell did you do?" I turned around and saw agent may staring at me. I was shocked at first but then continued to walk forwards knowing what she was talking about and not wanting to discuss it myself. I could hear her steps rush behind me before I felt a hand on my arm and drag me down the hall and into a random room.

"What!" I yelled, confidence building by the second as I really didn't want to talk. She stared blankly at me for a moment, a little taken back by my outburst, it was clear I wasn't in a good mood, but neither was she. She took a moment and looked like she had calmed down a bit but was still really frustrated.

"You ruined the only chance we had of bringing the guy in!"

"I'm sorry if 'fire boy' got away but-" I was interrupted by her hand squeezing my arm. She looked down to the floor before looking at me in the eye.

"You killed him Maddy..." My heart started pounding as the words were slowly sinking in. I killed him. No. I didn't... I would never hurt anyone I was just defending myself, I mean it wasn't even me! It was this body! I looked at her for a second, thinking of something to say before opening the door and storming out. I stormed down the hallway as a single tear fell onto my cheek and slipped down to my chin. I walked up the stairs to the deck and when I got there I walked to the very edge of the ship and... I just started screaming and breaking down and crying. My throat was sore and my whole body felt numb.

I felt so horrible almost dirty in a way, I actually killed a guy, I killed somebody. "I killed him." I don't care if he was hurting people, I didn't mean to kill him. I just... I felt so helpless. I stopped crying and just felt to my knees. I could feel the tears pouring out of my eyes right now. I looked out over the clouds and felt the wind brush through my brown hair. One last tear fell from my eye onto my hand on my lap. As I felt it make contact there was a loud crack in the sky and suddenly it began to rain. I stood up slowly, put my hands in the air and my face towards the sky. Suddenly I couldn't feel my feet on the floor anymore and looked down to see that I was actually flying, just like before, except this time I was awake and had control. Except I didn't want control. I wanted whatever it was to consume me, completely. I didn't want to feel anything. Consciously, I started to fly closer and closer to the edge, slowly until I was over nothing, just a wide ocean. I shut my eyes, desperately trying to block out everything, everything from the beginning, and just when I was debating on giving up, I felt arms wrap around me and drag me back onto the ship.

"You're okay, Maddy." At first, I was shocked, but they slowly gave into the hug, I clung onto the mystery person and just let them hold me while whispering soothing comforts. After a moment, the weight of my thoughts started to hit, I was seriously going to just drop, give up? I pulled the person closer to me as I felt the tears start to fall again, slowly at first but soon flowing all together. I turned around and was shocked to find ward holding onto me. He looked down into my red and puffy eyes before pulling me into his chest, letting me cry a little longer.

"You're okay, everything's going to be okay."