The man was screaming.
He was screaming because there was a dead man, wearing nothing more than a pair of woman underwear, on the ground. The screaming man is named Michael, and the dead one is named William.
Michael finds a note stitched onto William's fat ass. It says:
You're gay.
Suddenly, he hears the door barge down and a bunch of fucking US Marines enter the encampment.
"ON THE GROUND NOW MOTHERFUCKERS! AND TAKE OFF YOUR PANTIES WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!" shouts US Marine Gunnery Sergeant Jerome Mitchell. 5 minutes later, the entire squadron was stripped down to their 3 inch penises and hairy pussies.
Private First Class Jonathan Boyd goes around spanking every single butt that was showing. (Every single one lol xdxdxddddx CX CX cXDDDDD X D DX F D D N!2!1!11!1!)
***
"The sky's falling nuuuuuuuuu niggers help me!1!1!1!" Flo yelled as she looked outside to find stuff falling from the sky.
"Relax Flo, it's just Napoleon being triggered."
"Napoleon doesn't own Kim Jong-Un's nukes!1!1!1!!"
Suddenly, a bunch of US Marines showed up into the house.
"The sky's falling noobs! Now put your hands up and dab!!!!" shouted Corporal Will Patterson.
"Run for your lives you obese cunts!" screamed the mom, Charlotte.
"Oi mate, Napoleon is gonna drop a nuke on ur mum's basement and ur gonna get rekt by the big nigger nuke" Shouted Flo.
An African American soldier heard and turned his head to look at Flo.
"What the fuck did this little cracker just say?" He asked.
"She just called you a nigger bro..." said Will Patterson to him.
*proceeds to make the sky fall*
"NOW ACTUALLY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES YOU AUTISTIC FUCKS" screamed (a clone of) Jerome Mitchell.
"WAIT" the Afro American said. "RAP BATTLE PL0X xdxd."
"LETS DO IT RIGHT HERE NIBBA" yelled Florence.
"Ay, yeah, ay, yeah, ay, yeah, ay, yeah, cocaine for my breakfast sniffin ass just for testin fucked your aunt in the ass, bitch that shit growing fast, yes I am probably a pedo but what the fuck can you do? Ur just a stupid lil kid who probably doesn't know where to poo" the Afro rapped.
Suddenly, god (yes, no capitalization) came up from hell and screamed "OHHHHH GET MLG 360 NOSCOPED TH0T xdxdxdxd"
Suddenly, Napoleon came in and started rapping XO Tour LIfe, as well as a whole lot of XXXtentacion.
"I don't really care if you cryyyyyy ur dad likes my ass... I forgot all the lyricsssssss and ur dad likes to beat his meat ay ay none of this makes sense, all my friends are dead..., ay ay ay all my friends are bread."
Suddenly, Jerome Mitchell got pissed and started firing his rifle everywhere, hitting Napoleon and (YESSSSS) Stephanie. Dylan Klebold came in and started shooting his tec 9.
"OP PLS NERF" screamed Charlotte.
"IT ONLY DOES 69 DAMAGE PER SECOND" shouted Klebold as he hit Flo and (no!!111!1!) the afro.
***
Ur dad hours later xdxdxdxd
The encampment was now a temporary hostage camp for faggots. Michael was forced to march, as well as every other normie (REE) in the "city" of england.
Boyd kept slapping Michael's butt.
"OMFG stop noob ur fat kid xdxd." shouted Michael.
"NO!" shouted Boyd as he dabbed on the hater.
Suddenly, MICHAEL DABBED BACK.
The world came screeching to a halt.
"What did you do?!" shouted Boyd as he transcended into Jake Paul.
Suddenly, Logan Paul comes out of nowhere with some stupid ass anime frog hat headass and films a suicide forest video. Boyd (now Jake Paul) stares in astonishment as Logan Paul loses subscribers by the google plexillions. Jake Paul then tells the haters to dabe on the dabers and film attention seeker forest - I mean suicide forest videos xdxd.
Suddenly, Boyd transformed back into Boyd.
"ENOUGH! IT'S TIME TO GO TO THE MESS HALL TO CLAIM YOUR MEAL! TODAY WE'RE HAVING LIL' MACS."
Inside the mess hall, XXXTentacion and Lil Uzi Vert were performing a collab together. The song was called ur mom xdxd, and it was to the tune of Gucci Gang. "Dooo... doo doo doo doo doo.. oo, ur mom, esketit, oo, dooodooloodoodoo, oo, oo, UR MOM GAY UR MOM GAY UR MOM UR MOM GAY UR MOM UR MOM GAY UR MOM UR MOM GAY UR MOM UR MOM GAY. SPENT 69 RACKS ON A NEW BFG, JUST TO GET ANOTHER KILLTRADE. UR MOM GAY UR MOM GAY UR MOM GAY UR MOM GAY UR MOM GAY. Doooooo doo doo doo dooo doooooooo oooo doo doo doo oooodooooo"
The audience gave a round of applause to the platinum level song (biased af xdxd).
"Alright you fucks, lets get dinner started. Ur all gonna be eating lil macs and big peeps for dinner, and don't complain if you feel like going in a lil peep Jeep" Boyd explained. Charlotte dug into her food because she was lactose intolerant and of course, big peeps have dairy in them. The fatass (aka flo, who got taken hostage by the clone of Mitchell the gay kid) was digging into her lil mac as if it was a cock. She was the hoe of the squad, and it was clear to the others.
"Stop being such a th0tty, flo" Patterson remarked.
"I'm just eating this co- lil mac, mind ur own shit you cracker fuck" she snapped.
"Says the one who called some nigger a nigger"
"You just said nigger"
"Shut up before I send you into the dungeon!"
"Bite me bitch."
The next thing Flo saw was... well, nothing. She got knocked the FUCK out by Boyd (and Mitchell xdxd, rko out of nowhere nibbers xdxd).
YOU ARE READING
JUNE '69
HumorWARNING: This book contains extremely offensive and mature language. Reader's Discretion is highly advised. Note: None of the events depicted in this book actually happened. The year is 1769. As war rages on between the French Fries, lead by the gr...
