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JUNE '69

Humor

WARNING: This book contains extremely offensive and mature language. Reader's Discretion is highly advised. Note: None of the events depicted in this book actually happened. The year is 1769. As war rages on between the French Fries, lead by the gr...

#comedy #cringe #drama #humor #meme #war

Chapter 14: Wack

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by PIKLEREE

by PIKLEREE

All you need to know about the crew's time in Kansas is that the sergeant's mom can cook fried chicken. Okay, time for

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Titty milk

***

The trio then flew their way to San Francisco on the fortnite bus. They remembered to thank the bus driver on the way out.

"Well, we're finally in SF, what to do now?"

Screw it, the authors have given up. Time for exposition. They go to see a baseball game, meet kanye west, because he wants to watch jacoby ellsbury play. They find out stephanie has been playing for the giants for the past few years and what not, and they have a reunion, but then a fucking earthquake hits san francisco. When they return from the rubble, they see that underneath home plate in san francisco, is a tomb.

"IT IS THE TOMB OF JESUS CHRIST!" THE TEMPLAR SQUEALS. "HURRY CHILDREN, GOD WILLS US TO RESURRECT JESUS."

"WHAT WHY?!" FLO SAYS.

"STEPHANIE WILL BE THE VESSEL TO BRING BACK JESUS."

NANI??!!! FLO SAYS, as they enter the tomb.

Now they have several challenges to face. The first is to defeat russians in dota 4.

"RUSH B RUSH B" THE RUSSIANS CHANT.

"Umm, you mean rush mid? Rush b is in csgo." flo corrects them.

"Ah, you are smart little girl. 10/10 ign you may pass." the russians say.

Their next task is to defeat EXO SUIT in a rap battle. Kanye forces them aside, but then they reach their next battle, eminem rap battle.

"Snap back to reality, oh we in djibouti, my center of gravity, is higher than my dignity, just like the actualities, just like my phonology and there's plenty of words that rhyme with orange like explorin or gorringe or sporange."

The drill sergeant gets ready, but kanye steps in.

"Bougie girl, grab her hand

Fuck that bitch she don't wanna dance

Excuse my French but I'm in France (I'm just sayin')

Prince William's ain't do it right if you ask me

'Cause I was him, I would have married Kate and Ashley

What's Gucci my nigga?

What's Louie my killa?

What's drugs my deala?

What's that jacket, Margiela?

Doctors say I'm the illest

'Cause I'm suffering from realness

Got my niggas in Paris

And they going gorillas, huh!?" he says.

Oh noes the font changed.

Still, that was enough to defeat EXO SUIT, who melt because they're made out of cheap chinese plastic.

Dab dab shintoism like rost komiya my niga.

Anyways, they're now in the tomb of jesus christ, but suddenly, napoleon shows up.

"NAPOLEON?! I THOUGHT U WAS DEAD!" kanye declares.

"Yea aight" Napoleon replied.

Kanye snapped back "PULL UP ON YO BLOCK THEN I BLEED IT, SLIDEEEEE IF ION DROP SUMN I CANT LEAVE IT"

"BLUEFACE BABY"

"YEA AIGHT"

"LATELY I BEEN ON THAT FUCKIN NIGGA SHIT"

"GET THAT fucking ANAL THEN I SUCK A NIGGA DICK, UHUH, CAUSE NIGGAS RIDING ROUND, WIT THE MFING CLIP. SHOOT A CLIP, I MIGHT FLIP YA MOMMA BRICK, I SAID. hey, good afternoon. My name is Ski and im higher than the cow that jumped over the moon. OK LIKE POST UP AYE FUCKED UP, NIGGA FUCK'S UP, WRIST GAME, WRIST LIKE SLAY, BEAT THE POT LIKE ABUSE, TIE MY DICK, LIKE A NOOSE. AND IM CANADIAN, LIKE A MOOSE. Hpt nigga shot nigga drop nigga THOT nigga rawr xd i just might text ur bitch xd rawr, when i be texting ur whore."

Napoleon dies again lul.

"Yo, when are we gonna meet jesus christ?" flo asks, clearly bored the fat fuck.

"Soon." somebody said.

"Bitch who said that."

"IT IS I, TRAVIS SCOTT!"

"HOW MANY MORE FUCKING RAP BATTLES DO WE NEED?" the templar asks.

"OUT LIKE A LIGHT, LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO, LIKE A LIGHT, LET'S GO, 405, LIKE A LIGHT, HAD ME OUT LIKE A LIGHT, LIKE IM IZZY, CHECKS OVER STRIPES-"

The drill sergeant goes sicko mode and seppukus travis scott, his head falling on the ground.

"That takes care of things." he says.

"ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?" Gumba Johnsson asks.

GODDAMIT