For breakfast, the mess hall was serving, not lil macs or big peeps, but rather spaghet and choccie (chalk plus chocolate and cocaine) milk this time around.
Michael sat down with her- i mean, his- daughters. Will Patterson sat down with them.
"Heard that your boyfriend got killed."
"YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND?! YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME?!" shouted Charlotte. Dylan pistolwhipped her.
"None of your business! It's his information!"
Michael nodded. "I miss his sexy obese ass."
"You shouldn't. He was a bad man. He's better off dead, not in hell or heaven because GOD DOESNT EXIST XDXDXDXD."
"How dare you!" Michael lunged for Patterson, but was pistolwhipped by Dylan Klebold. "Back off, nigger!"
"Listen, Michael, he was cheating on you with your sister!"
"My sister?! Wait, I have a sister?!"
"I have an aunt?!" asked Stephanie as she was pistolwhipped by Dylan Klebold.
"None of your business! It's his information!"
"Niggas iffy uh, blicky got the stiffy uh, pizza sticky uh crust real thiccy uh, dick stiffy uh know the girl licky uh" 6ix 9nigga rapped alongside Lil Pump and Lil Uzi Vert and xxxtentacion's ghost [rip x 6/18/18 ;( ]
Before Patterson could reply, we now cut to another scene, just like in that fucking nigger-ass movie The Last Jedi.
***
Napoleon was sidestage, trying to convince Cardi B to let her go backstage.
"I know Kanye and I need to talk to his nigga fatass pl0x."
But it was clear that Cardi B was drunk from the booze. "This guy wanna go to Mars! Ya hear that? Skraa pop pop esketit." She shouted to no one.
Meanwhile, Kanye had gotten to his solo in his and Jay's song NiBBas in Paris.
"GUCCI GANG, GUCCI GANG, RAPE THAT CHINK SHE DON'T WANNA GANG, SCUSE MY FRENCH BUT I'M IN FRANCE!"
Suddenly, Logan Paul walked on stage and shouted: "YAH YEET!"
Napoleon was impressed, and knew he had found a new slave... er, sideman.
Finally, Cardi B collapsed on the floor, saliva spewing from her fat hood-rat-ass mouth. Napoleon sidetracked backstage and waited for Kanye and Jay to finish 10 more encores of NiBBas in Paris.
Once Kanye was backstage in his lounge and had cracked open a cold one with the Bois (shemales yet to come out of the closet), while Jay Z the gay kid was yelling esketit, Napoleon charged in with his nigger- oh fuck, for Christ's sake I meant SABRE!- and threatened Kanye.
"I have been waiting to see you, Kanye West."
"Ye, I already knew. Heard Cardi pass out and shit. That th0t always gets faded when we go on tour xdxd she's too busy with her red bottoms and bloody shoes."
Napoleon lowered his sword in absolute disappointment. He had been getting hard the past night, well, it was mainly his dick that was hard, that he would make a dramatic entrance. (WHO ELSE THINKS LORD FUCKWAD FROM SHREK LOOKS LIKE NAPOLEON?)
"Fuck, now this isn't even dramatic, it's just absolute awkward."
"Just like when you came outa da womb xdxd." Cardi B yelled out from across the hallway."
"Ayy esketit. Now what do you need from a nigga?" Kanye asked.
"It is time for us to take over the universe. Help France conquer England from the Americans, and I can guarantee that we will rule the world pl0x!"
"Say, aren't you that nigga Napoleon that got his ass kicked by the Americans last week?" Jay asked him, but Napoleon ignored this evidently rhetorical question. He wasn't a th0t(ROBLOX SLIM THICCS) or a gold digger like everyone in the Kardashian family.
"Ayy, what's in it for me?" asked Kanye.
"I can rid you of your slavery from the Kardashians. And you will not be my slave, but you will be my sideman!" Napoleon proclaimed, firing his penis at Cardi B.
"Aw hell ya, let's go! What's gucci my nigger! Jay, wanna join us?"
"Ye, join us pl0x."
"Nah fam, im not about, fam."
Suddenly, a security dood showed up and started talking.
"Monsieur West, they want an ENCORE."
"ESKETIT, JAY."
And then Kanye and Jay performed another encore of their song NiBBas In Paris.
"WHAT'S GUCCI MY NIGGER, WHAT'S YEE MY NIGGER, FUCK NIGGA WHAT'S REALLY GOOD AY, DOCTORS SAY I'VE GOT EBOLA, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW DE WAE, THEY AIN'T NO BALLAS GOT MAH NIGGAS IN PARIS, AND THEY'RE GOING GORILLAS YAH YEET."
***
Michael was thinking about the previous day. "Do i really have a th0- sister?" Michael "th0t" to himself. Yoda came into his penis and ass and cell and said "yes, sonny boi, ur dad was gay and had 2 kids xd." Michael considered killing himself in the suicide forest for logan paul but he realized "maybe i can finally lose my virginity!". He tracked down his sister, who also got kidnapped (and raped! Xdxd by the merkans) and knocked on her door. "Open up, ye fucker"
"Choke on my strap on you autistic brit"
"I'm your brother mate, open the fuck up before i pistolwhip ur thinn ass"
"OPEN UP THE DOOR OR ELSE I'M NERFING THE BFG" shouted Dylan Klebold, who got bribed to help.
The girl opened the door in shock. The BFG had already been nerfed, and she would get a negative kdr if she didn't have it normal. She got on her knees and begged to not nerf the bfg. "Fine... I won't nerf it... unless you suck my dick right now" said Dylan Klebold.
"NO ME FIRST." shouted Michael.
"Oh hell no, I don't want type two herpes"
"Wait.... Michael, weren't you gay?" asked Klebold.
"CHRISTIAN SERVER, WE MUST DO AN EXORCISM." shouted Patterson and Mitchell.
"But- but traps aren't gay!" pleaded Michael.
"Yes they are you autistic jew"
"Im british u fuckwit"
"Ur penis is small"
"You have no penis"
"THAT'S IT, PREPARE TO BE EXTERMINATED TH0T." Dylan brought out the beg0ne thotter, his tec-9 (kek 9 on April 1st 2017 xdxd phantom forces)
"OP PLZ NERF" Michael pleaded.
"IT STILL ONLY DOES 696969 DAMAGE PER SECOND XDXDXDDDDDDDD"."
Michael fell to the ground in a heap. He was finally killed off. He started having sex with Will in heaven. Flo saw this and started beating her meat while crying.
"NO DADDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!"
She gets pistolwhipped by Dylan Klebold for beating her meat in public.
Flo ran to her room in shock. She sat there and thought "hey, now that my **oh yes daddy** isn't here anymore, now i can be a th0t!!1!1111111!1111!11!"
Her thoughts, I mean, th0ts, were interrupted by an explosion. The french army had invaded the camp.
YOU ARE READING
JUNE '69
HumorWARNING: This book contains extremely offensive and mature language. Reader's Discretion is highly advised. Note: None of the events depicted in this book actually happened. The year is 1769. As war rages on between the French Fries, lead by the gr...
