"Nani?" flo says. Ok at this point, the saying nani joke has been overused, so imma stop.
"Napoleon has been assassinated by somebody yesterday in his apartment. The king of France will have a press conference dedicated to him tomorrow." templar read for them.
"Well, we shoulda stayed in France. Now we gotta go back." the drill sergeant mumbled.
"I'm too tired to canoe all the way back to France. Let's just take the ferry." Flo suggested.
"I agree. It's safer." the templar remarked. "Remember, there's still a war popping right now."
Yah yeet
They made it to france xdxd
They went into the press conference by sneaking in fake documents. When they sat down, they were astonished to see Kanye West.
"Kanye? Didn't he help Napoleon out when he was king?" flo asked.
"Didn't you hear about what happened, flo?" the templar asked.
"Hell naw, cause i've been trapped in america for two years after that battle between england and croissant-land aka france." flo said.
"Napoleon was forced to surrender the throne to the soviets, who decided to make Kanye their prime minister, but then the soviets decided france was too capitalist, they were too big "ballas", so they gave the crown to Kanye." the templar explained.
K, the press conference was pretty boring, and they mentioned nothing much so let's skip that part.
Flo and the drill sergeant snuck into Kanye's room by bribing Cardi B and her morbidly obese cousin, Cardi O, with booze and doritos, respectively.
"Kanye! Where's my sister?!" flo asked.
"Kanye! Rap battle pl0x!" the drill sergeant asked.
"One at a time faggots! First things first, i don't know where that gurl steph went. She escaped when Napoleon got kidnapped to the gulag. And i ain't wasting no time chasing some balla around, so i let her escape. The last thing she eva said to me was "im leaving for sf."" kanye said, while slurping a martini. "Also, yes i accept the rap battle, sargent dude. U go first my soldier kid."
"KKK, nigga." the drill sergeant said. He turned on his walkman, which was plugged into the amplified speakers in Kanye's amplified room, so we be blasting NIggas in Paris right now.
"Alright look, Mr. Kanye West, you're probably the very best, but I've got a newsflash for you, when I'm done here you'll be my number two.
You may be the king of fucking France, but once I put you in a trance, force you to do the solja dance, ain't no way youll have any mans.
Ive got bars, ur on mars, this bitch Cardi going out with lars, almost done, ur on par, Kim going out with a retard."
"She said yeah can we get married at the mall, I said bitch you need to crawl fore u ball, come and meet me in the bathroom stall, and show me why u deserve to have it all."
"Ball so hard"
"That shit wack, Eddie Lack. Ball so hard."
"Dick the size of, a thumbtack. Ball so hard."
"Your flow so cold, this old mold. Ball so hard."
"Act like you ain't the slave of the Kardashians. Cali girl, took yer mans, sucked them hard, and made them dance. Nigga Scuse this shit, but ain't this France, ha, je juste le-remarque. Prince William ain't nothing compared to Louis. If I was him I would've dated Meghan Markle."
"Did you just say nigga? Don't make me go killa (points at Flo), you ain't own a villa, i own ten in Marseilles-a. Doctor say i'm the realest, cause i'm suffrin from realness. Got my niggas in paris, and they say you won this battle." Kanye says, as he drops the mic, giving up.
"I did it baby!!! I beat Kanye West at a rap battle! WHOO!" the drill sergeant shouted as he chucked his microphone outside, causing it to explode (and so started the trend of terrorist attacks in Europe).
"Alright nigga, you want a prize?" Kanye asks.
"Hell yeah! Take us to SF boi!" the drill sergeant requests.
"I can't. But tell u what, my man Jay finna operates a ferry service that'll take you to BK, NY. u can then take the ultra finna lit railtrain to Kansas, and then take a plane to SF." Kanye suggests.
"W-w-w-w-wait. Kansas?"
"Ye man, Kansas!"
"KANSAS IS MAH HOMETOWN! TELL ME, WHEN DOES THE FERRY LEAVE?!"
"Tomorrow morning, you can buy last minute tickets starting at 6 AM, but the boat leaves at 7.
"KKK, finna lit. Thanks, Kanye." the drill sergeant says.
"Good luck running France." Flo says.
"Deus vult infidel." the templar says, as the three leave Kanye's suite.
YOU ARE READING
JUNE '69
UmorismoWARNING: This book contains extremely offensive and mature language. Reader's Discretion is highly advised. Note: None of the events depicted in this book actually happened. The year is 1769. As war rages on between the French Fries, lead by the gr...
