JUNE '69

Chapter 5

The survivors ran down a tunnel underneath the prison camp. Flo struggled against the crusader.

"Let me down, you fucking dago!!!"

The templar did as she ordered, dropping Flo on the ground with a black belt judo flip. "What that did this little brit, with her fucking fish and chips, just call me?"

The afro marine replied back. "Oof, damn my niga, she just called you a dago."

The templar raged, and grabbed Flo by the collar. "Who do you think you are, to call me a dago?!" (I'm sorry but what in the nigger fuck is a dago)

"Who do you think you are?! I don't even know you! Now put me. Da fuq. down!"

"Good point templar, who are you anyway?" Mitchell asked him, reloading his AK-47 (don't ask how this is historically accurate, it isn't).

"I am a founding brother of the Special Assault Services, or SAS."

"SAS? Isn't that the Special Air Service? That's like the Navy Seals for the Marines, except it's for the British army." A british soldier asked.

"Naw, fam, it was founded by the surviving members of the Guild of Catholic Templars. Our mission is to answer god's will."

"By giving the enemy my daughter?!" Charlotte yelled, charging for the crusader. The afro and Dylan Klebold held her back.

"Nigga's iffy!" Lil Peep cried out.

"Shut up Peep, no one liked your music, and we still don't!" Flo shouted. At those words, Lil Peep disintegrated into a pile of slurpee.

"NUUUUUUUU LIL PEEP" shouted Lil Pump, who decided to end it there. And so, the group of rappers all committed suicide, which means there shall never be any more dank music.

"Miss, I do not choose sides in your 'war'. My job is just to answer god's will. And god told me to give the "frenchies" your daughter. After all, god's will did save your daughter from her impending doom lol xd get it? She was about to get whipped by daddy napoleon's belt, but I saved her."

They kept going, but the tunnel began to shake, as a section of it caved in.

Mitchell sighed. "We'll have to take a detour." He said.

The templar continued. "Your daughter will be fine, miss. She is in god's hands. After all, she is the one."

"She's the one? What do you mean?" she asked the templar. He shrugged, before dabbing on her.

"I do not know, you must ask our lord and savior Jesus Christ. I think he wants to use her as a sacrifice... or as a vessel for his reincarnation."

"No! You can't use Stephanie to bring back Jesus!" Flo shouted, charging at the Templar and punching her, before wringing in pain from the full force of his suit of armour. The templar laughed at her.

"Aren't you adorable. Deus vult infidel. God will not allow you to do any harm on me, so long as I wear this suit of armour."

"Templar, why are you staying with us in this journey?" Will Patterson asks him.

"The nigga knows a secret, probably." the afro marine suggests. The templar shrugs.

Suddenly, a magic man shows up with a special sauce. He splashed the sauce all over the afro marine before casting a spell. Mitchell tried shooting his AK-47 at him, but all of his bullets couldn't penetrate his invisible coat of dank meme armour.

"SKIDADDLE, SKADOODLE. YOUR DICK IS NOW DONALD'S POODLE,"

Suddenly, the NFL theme began to play loudly in the air, as the afro marine wringed in pain, as his dick slowly transformed into a living, breathing, talking, and most importantly, GAY, dog.

The afro collapsed on the ground, and he slowly began to literally crumble. No, literally. Like, try imagining a cookie, extra deep fried, crumbling into crumbs in your hands. That's what happened to the afro marine. He dissolved into nothing but dust and organs in a matter of instance, looking like a messed up meatloaf. A really messed up pork meatloaf (black) xdxd.

The crusader was finally forced to pull out his penis sword (only 1 inch bc he's white **i think**) , and he swung it at the magic man. This time, the sword's powerful magic metal caused the magic man to dissolve into antimatter.

Mitchell stared at the remains of the afro marine, before reloading his AK-47, and motioning for light coming from the other end of the tunnel. They were almost out.