The outing was overall great. It had its moment of weakness, like when one of them would bring up a touchy subject and the other would get uncomfortable and quiet, but it also had its peaks, like when Evan wasn't stuttering without realizing it, or when they made a joke and they laughed freely, not caring how loud.
The thing that really made Connor's stomach sink, though, was how often Evan's phone would go off. As much as he hated to say it, he knew there were only two people who texted Evan aside from himself- Heidi and Jared. Early on, Heidi told Evan that she was working an emergency shift and he wouldn't be able to reach him, leaving one option. Evan had been politely ignoring them all until Connor went to the bathroom.
Jared
How are you doing ev
No response? harsh
Ok im coming over
Youre not home
You have a social life?
Omg your mom just told me youre with connor
Have fun on your gay date
Use protection
I know you cant get pregnant but std's affect 100,000 gay couples every year
I made that up idk
Dude answer meeee
No but seriously like are you alive
Bad question to ask rn bUT
Alright just text me soon and lemme know connor didn't kill you in a drug induced frenzy
Haha drugs who
Dont let him pressure you into doing drugs
They kill plants to make weed evan
Dont endorse their plant murder
Ev
Oh, my God, Jared.
Can you chill?
We're hanging out, it's not a date.
I'm not doing drugs, and neither is Connor, 'cause he promised.
Jared
Call me, tree boi
Id like to hang out with my best friend
I havent actually gotten to talk to you in quite awhile
Ev
That's because every time you talk to me you tell me it's just for car insurance.
Don't worry, I'll tell my mom we hung out and she'll tell your mom.
You don't actually have to endure my presence.
Jared
NO ev its a jOKE
I rlly do wanna hang out
I miss you kinda
No homo
You do know the whole car insurance thing is a joke right
Ev
Yeah.
Connor's back, though. I'll text you when I get home and we can hang out.
"Did you finally respond to the insanely clingy Jared Kleinman?" Connor asked as he returned to his seat, "What'd he want?"
"To hang out," Evan responded with the slightest of stutters before he giggled and added, "and to make s-sure you didn't pressure me to do drugs."
Connor stiffened, making Evan's smile falter, "Was he, like, joking? He knows I wouldn't do that, right? You know I wouldn't do that, right?"
"Yes! Yes to b-both. Sorry, I shouldn't have b-brought it up."
Connor's instant defensiveness alarmed Evan, but he couldn't help but feel something like jealousy as he obsessed over what Jared thought. Evan thought the two hated each other, but a lot can happen over the course of a multi-week coma.
"It's getting a little late." Connor sighed down at his half-eaten ice cream. "Are you ready to go home?"
"I guess... Sure." Evan bit his lip, fearing he may have said something to upset Connor. "Let's go..."
They each dropped some money on the table as they stood and made their way to Connor's car. The ride was uncomfortably silent for the first several minutes before Connor decided to speak up.
"I'm sorry, Ev." He sighed. "I overreacted, it's just... Can I be honest with you?"
This caused Evan's palms to sweat. He wanted to say always, and that Connor never even had to ask because nothing he could ever do or say would make Evan think any less of him, but they were just friends and Evan didn't want to come on too strong. Instead, he just nodded as he anxiously awaited what Connor had to say.
"When I first found out you were in the hospital, God, Evan, it fucked me up so bad, I can't even lie. Literally, nothing made me feel better, and if I couldn't feel better, I wanted to feel nothing, and weed does that for me. It numbs everything so I can calm the fuck down and relax, so I smoked while you were in a coma... A lot. I thought Kleinman told you, which is why I kinda freaked out.
"I just- I always thought it was so stupid to, I don't know, need someone. I thought it was so fucking dumb. Like, why should I rely on someone else to provide me with happiness? I can't put that kind of pressure on someone, I don't trust anyone enough for that, and I want to be in control of my own happiness. So instead of relying on people, I relied on drugs, alcohol, and other things that I'm less than proud to admit," he took a deep breath before looking to at Evan and continuing, "and then I met you."
Evan's breath hitched in his throat as Connor went on, "You make me feel better than weed ever has. I feel actual happiness with you- not the artificial shit I get from a high, but actual, real happiness. It's like you somehow taught my brain how to release dopamine. I can give up drugs for you, Evan, but I need you to bear with me. I did smoke while you were unconscious, and if I'm being honest, it probably won't be the last time. But I swear to God, it's the last time I try to hide it from you."
It was at this moment that Evan realized the car had been pulled over since Connor began talking, and before he could fully register that fact, his lips were moving in sync with Connor's eyes shut, silky soft lips smashed together with more intense passion than anything either of them had ever experienced in their lives.
