- slight tw -
- body image issues -
"You're sure you want me here?" Connor asked, squeezing Evan's hand for support, "It's not too much pressure? You're not too nervous? This is okay?"
"Calm down, Con," Evan chuckled, rubbing Connor's hand with his thumb, "It's usually me f-freaking out. Anyway, I n-need you here."
The two smiled at each other, both nervous as they stood hand in hand in front of the door waiting for Heidi to get home. For once, Evan was the outwardly calm one, though he had a whirlpool of emotions swirling inside him.
"Remember, we're only saying what's n-necessary, so leave out the - you know..." Evan's nervousness became more and more evident as his breathing became erratic and face grew crimson.
His episode of panic was short lived as Connor talked him through it, both of Evan's hands in his own, rubbing then softly when they heard the door begin to unlock. They quickly regained their previous stance - hand in hand, unnaturally good posture - trying to remain a united front.
"Evan?" Heidi questioned, a bit taken aback, "Is everything okay?"
"I, um - there's something I n-need to tell you." Evan stammered, suddenly much less confident than before.
"Evan, honey, I love you, whether you like boys or g-" Heidi began, going in for a hug before Evan cut her off, both boys blushing furiously.
"Mom, n-no! Connor and I are just friends." Evan sighed as he loosened his grip on Connor's hand, "I'm n-not gay."
"What's the matter then?"
"I, um, I... Con," Evan looked to Connor with pleading eyes who nodded and took a shaky breath.
"Ev isn't, uh - Evan isn't doing as well as he seems," Connor began, looking to Evan for confirmation, "He just kinda needs a little... extra help."
A silence hung in the air as Heidi attempted to piece together what she was being told, "I'm gonna need a little more information here."
"I n-need more appointments with Dr. Sherman." Evan said shakily, "I know it's a lot of money and I'll get a job to help, b-but I-"
"Evan, honey, I'm not concerned about the money." Heidi cut him off, "I'm more concerned about you being happy and healthy than anything. Did something happen? Did you try to... hurt yourself?"
"No," Evan answered quickly, almost too quickly, "I just think we should s-see Dr. Sherman b-before it gets to that point."
"His office is closed by now, but I'll call first thing in the morning. We'll get this sorted out. Thank you for talking to me about it."
She hugged him as she wished him and Connor good night, Evan trying to collect himself as she shut her bedroom door.
"Ev?" Connor placed a hand on his shoulder, "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
"Thank you for being here." Evan hugged Connor tightly before pulling away to reveal his blushing face, "S-so, uh, do you wanna watch a movie or something?"
"Absolutely, you get Netflix set up while I order pizza." Connor agreed as he grabbed his phone. Evan waited patiently on the couch, casting a longing glance at the taller boy that he was so lucky to have found a friend in. Connor hung up the phone as he smiled at Evan, announcing that the pizza would be there in approximately thirty minutes.
"Okay!" Evan smiled, a newfound enthusiasm in his voice, "S-so, should we wait for the pizza to get here or start the movie n-now?"
"S'up to you." Connor shrugged. "What movie are we watching?"
"Well, I had a few picked out s-so that you could choose from them, b-but if you had something in mind, we can try that, too."
"I'll probably just go with one of your suggestions. What are our contenders?" The next several minutes were spent carefully and thoroughly comparing every movie - movie descriptions, cast, runtime, and genre. They finally settled on an older, less popular movie that Connor had never heard of but Evan loved.
Connor went to answer the door when the doorbell rang as Evan gathered the movie necessities: soft blankets, comfort foods, sodas, and his laptop. He re-entered the living room to see Connor with two paper plates and a pizza box on the coffee table.
And that's how the two ended up cuddling and asleep on Evan's couch when Heidi woke up, each with one earbud in, an empty pizza box in the trash and Evan's laptop open to Netflix's Are you still watching? page. Heidi smiled to herself, seeing her son visibly less stressed and enjoying himself around another person.
When Evan woke up, he could feel Connor's arms around him and smell his cologne. For a moment he didn't want to move but eventually decided to go shower so he wasn't gross when Connor woke up and hopefully wouldn't know they were cuddling.
As he tied the towel around his waist, he got a glimpse of himself in the full body mirror as he got a sinking feeling in his stomach, poking and pulling at the exposed skin. His thoughts confused him; he'd never had negative thoughts about his body before today, but now they consumed his every thought. He quickly brushed his teeth before changing into a t-shirt and jeans, a black sweatshirt pulled over to hide his body shape.
As he exited the bathroom, he smelled food coming from the kitchen and heard a sizzling coming from the stove. He peeked his head around the corner to see Connor staring quizzically at a pan, a defeated look on his face.
"Con?" Evan inquired, dumbfounded.
"I can't cook." Connor stated, not looking away from the pan or changing his facial expression. "That's something I learned today. I can't cook."
"What did you-"
"I wanted to make breakfast. I didn't do something right."
Evan made his way to the stove to see black mush in the pan, unsure of how someone could mess up eggs so badly.
"Okay, yeah, let me take over." Evan proposed, taking the spatula from Connor's hand, "What did you even d-do? You did add m-milk, didn't you?"
Silence.
"Connor? The milk?"
"I didn't know eggs were supposed to have milk in them." Connor sighed, marveling at Evan's culinary knowledge. Less than ten minutes later, they were sitting at the table, a plate in eggs in front of Connor, laughing and conversing.
"No eggs for you?" Connor asked, silently offering him a bite, which Evan waved away.
"I ate b-before you woke up." Evan looked down and played with his hands, not meeting Connor's eye.
"No, you didn't." Connor furrowed his eyebrows as he ate more eggs, "I was awake before you took your shower, I just didn't want to wake you."
"No, right, I woke up b-before then and ate, then fell b-back asleep. But I just b-brushed my teeth anyway, so I couldn't eat anyway." Connor looked suspiciously at him but accepted this response after Evan didn't break. Evan let out a breath of relief that Connor hadn't found out he lied.
God, what was happening to him?
