You Die, I Die

CHAPTER ONE - TRIS

CHAPTER ONE - TRIS

I woke with a jerk, sweat dripping from my forehead, tears dwelling in my eyes, a lump forming in my throat, heart beating so fast it could jump out of my chest. I sit back in the hope to catch my breath once again, I decided that I wouldn't be able to sleep again so I may as well just go and get some fresh air- well at least as fresh as I can get in these caves.

Here in the Dauntless compound the closest thing you can get to fresh air is a deep breath of stale air. It actually makes me miss back home, and our everyday routine. My older brother and I would walk to the bus stop every morning before school even in the middle of winter, and catch the bus to school. We would have to give up our seats to the other factions even if we got them first. I miss the simplicity of it, and I never realised until now how beautiful it was, until it was gone.

I slip out of bed, and throw my slick black jacket on and pull up a pair of socks, and tie my shoelaces. I stumble out of the dormitory and head towards the training room. A cold shudder rushes down my spine as memories of the nightmare I just had rushed back to my mind.

As I reach the training room, I pull the door open, and step inside. I needed to distract myself, I knew I was going to be up all night. I walk over to the centre of the floor, I sunk to the ground and just think of the first time I entered this room with Christina, Will and Al.

Al is the reason I'm having nightmares. Seeing his lifeless body being pulled up from the rushing river below. Being pulled from my sleep by Christina, and watching Christina's mascara make trails down her cheeks, seeing Will hold Christina, and that awful feeling of being alone hasn't left my side since.

I hear footsteps outside the door, followed by voices. I get up and sprint into the shadows of the room as Eric and Four enter the room. I pear out from behind a large concrete beam on the other side of the room.

They seem to be arguing about something, probably this weeks events. Arguing about Al. Al the coward.

"He didn't die, Four. He committed suicide. He wasn't emotionally stable there is nothing we could have done either way." Eric calmly says. It scared me a little to be completely honest.

Eric is the person who you'd expect to be angry, and when is happy it can't be a good reason.

"Doesn't mean you should've tried to get me to throw knives at him." Four fights back. He sounds heated, like he is angry, angry about the fact that Al killed himself instead of facing what he did to me. I'm angry.

"Well lucky that the little Stiff swapped spots with him." Four scoffs and walks into the direction that I am in. I hold my breath, I clench every single muscle in my body, praying that he doesn't see me. He stood near the table that all the weapons sat on. I hated that table.

"Eric, you do understand that this keeps happening because of the way that we are training them. We are putting pressure on them. If we weren't making them compete for a place, then people wouldn't be stabbing each other in the eye with butter knifes, or hanging other people of the ledge of the Chasem!" Four huffs. He picks up a knife and throws it a target near me. I keep quite in the hope that neither one of them see me.

"Are you seriously in about this again?" Eric replied sounding bored. "We aren't changing the system just because you don't agree with it."

Four walks over to the target and with a lot more force then needed, pulls the life out catches my eye. I place my finger over my mouth as our eyes divert. He didn't blow my cover, thank god.

"Well you were his instructor, maybe you should make sure it doesn't happen again." Eric smiled. "After all, Amar would be disappointed you, wouldn't he? Oh wait, he's not one to talk, is he? No, like literally, he can't, he's dead."

"You think I don't know that? If we hadn't died then you simply wouldn't be here. You simply wouldn't have be able to tamper with the system, because he wouldn't let you. And also, he would be proud, proud that I'm not turning into you."

"Whatever. I have to go." Eric says storming out of the room slamming the door behind me. Four immediately appeared at the beam that I was standing behind. The look in his eyes is a complicated look to read, it's like he is hurt and angry at the same time.

"Tris?" He look surprised to see me. After all it is nearly 12 am.

"Hi." My voice shook, I tried to keep my voice nice and easy. My insides burned, I didn't want to hear that but I did, whose Amar?

"How much of that did you hear?" He asks and moves closer, his deep ocean blue eyes look black, and his hooked nose sits perfectly on his face.

"Um... all of it." My eyes avoid contact at all costs.

"What are you even doing out of bed?" He asked as he makes his way back to the weaponry table placing the knife on the table.

I make my way out of the shadows of the room and to the centre of the room where the fighting ring lies.

"I..." I mumble "I couldn't sleep. I keep dreaming about Al. He was my best friend you know? And now he's gone and I feel like it's all my fault, because being the awful best friend I am i told him to stay way from me. I feel like I had the power to save him, but I chose not too. I chose one bad mistake he mad, over the person he was. He never actually wanted to hurt anyone, he just didn't want to be factionless." I spill and I really wish I didn't immediately. There is something about him that makes a part of me want to scream and run and hide, and another part look closer a see the person he really is.

"So you come here?" He asks with a confused look on his face. "Are you okay?" He asks as I just nod in return.

"I just needed some fresh air." I say, even though I'm in a training room that smells like sweat.

"You better go before Eric gets back." He finishes. I simply nod and walk back to the dormitory full of transfer initiates.

........

I creep towards my bunk next to Christina's and sit down and sigh heavily. The pain in my chest looking over at Al's empty bunk that still smells like sage and lemon grass. Like Al.

"Where did you go?" Christina hisses. I look at her silhouette now sitting up in her bed.

"For a walk." I begin "I couldn't sleep" I say as I untie my shoelaces and slipped my feet out of my shoes. "Go back to sleep, I'll tell you in the morning." I whispered as I slipped my jacket off and climbed back into bed and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.