You Die, I Die

CHAPTER ELEVEN - TRIS

CHAPTER ELEVEN - TRIS

The next morning I am giddy and light. I can't push the feeling if Tobias lips against mine from my mind, making me smile. Every time I try to suppress it, but every time it just comes back, brighter and bigger. In the end I give up trying suppress it and just let it glow from my face. I don't want to tackle my long, thick hair into a ponytail, so I just let it hang framing my face.

"What is with you today?" says Christina on the way to breakfast. She walks beside Will yawning.

"Oh, you know," I say. "Initiation is almost over, no more Peter." I say shrugging. She gives me a pointed look, I bite the inside of cheek.

"You're lying" She wines.

"No I'm not" I say defensively.

"Let the girl be in a good mood," Will says. "You may never see it again."

I smack his arm and hurry toward the dining hall. I sit down in my usual place, next to Uriah, with Will and Christina across from us. The seat on my left stays empty, leaving me wondering if Tobias will slip into next to me, giving me a grin. I wonder if he will look at me in that secret, stolen way that i imagine myself looking at him.

I grab a piece of toast from the plate in the middle of the table and start to butter it with a little too happily. I feel myself acting like a different person, but I can't stop, i wish that I was naturally this happy all the time. Like Marlene.

Uriah gives me a look of confusion, "She's been like this all morning, she won't tell me why though," Christina butts in.

"Right." He nods. I continue to butter my toast, "you know you're acting like a Marlene, right?" He grins.

Marlene slips into the seat next to him, "What about me?" She asked cheerily. He laughs and continued to eat.

My eyes watch the door heavily, waiting for the moment 5ha5 he will swoop in. Then he walks in. I feel a glow of happiness posses my body, I put my hand up to wave in over, but he sits down next to Zeke without even glancing in my direction, so I let my hand drop, just like my heart, and my smile.

"Something wrong?" asks Uriah through a mouthful of toast. I shake my head and take a bite. Maybe he thinks kissing me was a mistake, maybe he regrets it now. I want to punch myself in the face for being so naive and stupid. Suddenly I don't have an appetite.

"Today's fear landscape day," says Will. "You think we'll get to see our own fear landscapes?"

"No." Uriah shakes his head. "You go through one of the instructors' landscapes. My brother, Zeke, told me." I glare at Tobias sitting next to Zeke on the other side of the room.

"Ooh, which instructor?" says Christina, suddenly butting in.

"Why?" I ask. The question comes out too quick and abrupt. I bite my lip, hopping nobody picked up on it.

"Looks like someone had a mood swing." She rolls her eyes. She did. "Like you don't want to know what his fears are. He acts so tough that he's probably afraid of marshmallows and really bright sunrises or something. Overcompensating." Will snorts, covering his mouth with his hand to stifle his laughter.

I shake my head. "It won't be him." I replied.

"How would you know?" She asked raising her eyebrows at me.