Hetalia: Nordic 5 Oneshots and Imagines

Norway x Reader: The Saddest Excuse for a Story Ever

A/N: I am extremely sorry. Read on if you dare. If you like shitty puns, then this could be the story for you!

***

"YO, (Y/N)!" Mathias poked your shoulder repeatedly. You whipped your head in frustration; hair smacking the Dane's face on accident. 

"WHAT?"

"Let's play a prank on Lukas!" Mathias' eyes gleamed in excitement.

"A prank? The fuck, Matt?" 

"Yeah, a prank! I have an awesome idea, myself: why don't we do a smack-cam with whipped cream when he's asleep?"

"Nah, it's overused."

"How about throwing a bucket of water at him when he enters a room or something?"

"Overused as well."

"Fake-destroying his magic books?"

"Extremely unoriginal. Not to the magic books, though."

Mathias huffed in exasperation and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, what should we do? Since I clearly don't have any original ideas." Your eyes lit after you came up with an awesome idea.

"We should bombard him with puns!"

"Puns?" The Dane scoffed. "That's not very original, either."

"Nah, but it was better than your plans."

"Alright, so what do we do?"

You whispered the plan in his ear as you grinned mischievously.

***

Lukas needed to renovate his magic room. He invited you, his best friend, to go to the hardware store with him to grab the necessary tools. You decided to tag along, as you were extremely bored.

Grinning inwardly at your sneaky plan, you feigned a look of boredom as Lukas drove to the shop.

As soon as the two of you entered the store, Lukas pulled out a shopping list. You stole a quick glance and giggled.

"Let's see, we need bolts, light bulbs, nails..." Lukas continued to skim the list.

"Lukas, I feel like we need something else," You spoke nonchalantly, tapping your chin.

"Yeah, like what?"

"I think we need a "Hamar" (hammer)," The man choked at your terrible attempt at a pun.

"A what?"

"A hammer! Look, there's an aisle just for hammers!" You skipped to that part of the store, your poor, confused friend following you.

"Wow! It looks so awesome with all of these different brands of hammers! It's like a "Hammerfest!" ("fest" means party in Norwegian, so it's a "hammer party") Your best friend was melting to the floor; dying of shame. You glanced at a certain brand and noticed that their hammers were on sale for 30% off. 

"Look, Lukas! These are on sale! They're definitely a "Bergen!" (bargain)

The poor Norwegian was about to cry. He wanted to scream, bawl, whatever. But he had to regain his composure and be sane, for now.

"Please stop, (y/n). You're acting embarrassing." 

"What? "Norway"(no way) am I acting embarrassing. Hey, look! There's even a "Lillehammer"(little hammer) for kids!"

Lukas had to bite his lip from crying. This was going to be difficult.

***

"How did you do?" Mathias whispered in your ear.

"Hold up, bro. Just wait."

The two of you stood in silence as the Norwegian whisked past the two of you and into his room. A few seconds later, a muffled Viking scream echoed throughout the house.

"That good, eh?" The Danish man gave you a thumbs up.

***

A few days after the incident, the Norwegian man decided to go camping. He invited his five brothers and you, of course. 

Lukas assumed that the puns were never going to happen again. Boy, was he wrong. 

Mathias and Lukas were out in the forests chopping wood. They were working in peaceful silence until Mathias yelped.

"Bro, what's wrong??" Lukas panicked.

"That tree, I can't cut it."

"Why not?" Lukas rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"It has "Moss" on it."

The Norwegian turned on his heels and angrily stomped back to the campground.

***

The five Nordics and you were out on a hike. Tino called for a break; allowing everyone to rest, go to the restroom, or eat. Mathias sat next to Lukas. 

"Hey, Luke! Enjoying the hike, so far?" Lukas nodded as he sipped out of his water bottle.

"That's cool! I think it's been nice myself, what with the fresh "Arendal" (air and all),"  Lukas spat out his water and shot him a dirty glare. The rest of the Nordics died of laughter, including straight-faced Sweden. You gave Mathias a thumbs up, as well. 

***

It was the last day of the camping trip. All of the bags and equipment were in the van. A few minutes later, the six people piled into the van and began to head home.

You just happened to be sandwiched in between Lukas and Mathias, which was an experience. You gave a thumbs up to Mathias and began some small-talk with Lukas, who was reading a book.

"Well, that was an awesome trip! I'm crying tears of "Sandnes" (sadness); I already miss it!" Lukas shut his book and sighed.

"Honestly, (y/n), is that "Oslo" (as low) as you can go?" You were shocked that he came up with a pun himself. A grin was on the man's face; believing that he had just outsmarted his friend.

"Drammen," Lukas. Dream on," You cackled in delight.

The Norwegian banged his head on the window multiple times in annoyance.

***

I am really sorry. Deepest apologies to my Norwegian readers especially. 

I abandoned all common sense and decided to write this trash.  

These puns are based on towns/cities/municipalities in Norway. 

Again, I am really sorry. Please don't kill me. 

None of these characters belong to me. 

Enjoy! :-)