What's a Little Life Without Some Pain

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Mother hurts Father
Father hurts me
Father doesn't like me
He hates me
He loves my siblings
They don't like me either
I don't think they know I am even there

I'm always in the basement
The dreaded
horrid

basement

They don't ever let me out
Only when they need me for a cover up
or when they don't want a disease from me

I've heard of a thing called school from voices above

A place where you can be with people you like

It sounds safe

It sounds... fun

I asked if I can go to school one day
Father almost drowned me

He said I was too dumb

That school isn't for worthless brats like me

I have times when I scream out of no where, but usually when no ones around
There was this one time my family had company

They saw me and acted as if that was not a normal thing

Later Father had me in my own blood taking care of myself

One day I was allowed to go to middle school
Just that one day due to my sister
She needed a younger sibling of the same gender to bring to school
She said she'll be rewarded if she participated in the event

It was scary

But it also caught my interest

Some people seemed scary

Some also seemed kind or fake like my dad in the days I'm allowed out

Some tried to hurt me which I avoided
They asked why I don't like being 'Hugged'
Isn't a hug a sort of suffocation tactic?

So many people said around the words
'I like you, why don't you go to this school?'
I just said the lines my sister taught me to respond with.
'Father has me in another school, he's scared I'll go around doing pranks with my sister.'
Adding little laugh at the end to make it more believable.

I always use 'Mother', 'Father', 'Sister', and 'Brother'
With others it's 'Sir', 'Ma'am', so on

I never heard of things called names, they always kept me from hearing them

Have you ever thought of death?

We all thought of death at one point

Either hearing it, fearing, facing, hell, heaven
Some even want to make the mistake just to see death right in the face and fall onto his hands with no control

Many has thought of death

Some thing wrong

Some thing right

Some think nothing of it

One day I got curious
I wanted to see what if means to have the ability to see death
So I planned for it
Father was taking me out for some gathering I had to attend just so they could get in
I started walking slowly away from the family

At one point Father jerked my arm back
I took it to lash out
Bring my arms back and scream

Everyone stopped with the voices,

only mine ringing out inside

Father slapped me
'Go back'
I ran to do what Father said

But once I ran out the door I ran to the side of the house and sat down

Curling up on myself
What am I doing?
I should be going to the basement

I should be getting ready to die

I shouldn't be here

Someone walked out and looked at me
I just sat still
They walked towards me
I sat still



((...Should I continue this?))

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