The Sun Shines Brightest in June (Completed) gxg

Sunday, June 20, 2004

The day I'll never be able to forget. It was the only real notable day of the summer in my opinion, because everything after had just seemed awkward and tense. Klara and I didn't talk as much after that Sunday, and we sure didn't spend much time alone together. Of all the summers we had spent together the summer of 2004 had seemed the longest.

"Is there anything you miss about Jake? Anything at all?"

She took a deep breath, as she no doubt went over all of their interactions together in her head. I waited patiently for her answer while lying on my own bad. I turned my head to look at her and noticed that her eyes were shut. She must have been lost in the memories.

"I guess," she finally began. "I guess I would have to say that I miss kissing him."

"What?" I was confused. "I thought you said kissing him was just okay?"

She shrugged.

"It was, but I also said he was a good kisser. I mean, I didn't feel sparks. It wasn't magical or anything, but it was still kind of nice, especially once I did it more and knew what I was doing."

"Huh."

I don't know why I couldn't think of anything else to say. I had asked her if she missed anything about dating Jake and she and given me an answer. It was that simple. I guess maybe I had wanted a different answer. Maybe I wanted her to say no, she didn't miss anything at all. I couldn't tell, but I did regret asking.

"Sadie?"

I snapped out of my own head.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to say. I've never kissed anyone before. I guess I don't know how that feels."

She sat up on her bed.

"In my opinion, it's kind of weird at first. Awkward. I didn't really like it."

"At least you know."

She thought long and hard. I waited quietly for whatever she was going to say next.

"Don't you know any boys that you could kiss?" she finally asked. "You're going to be thirteen soon. I'm sure your mother would let you date too."

"I'm not really interested in dating any boys at my school, or kissing them for that matter."

More silence.

"What about a girl?" she asked hesitantly.

It was my turn to sit up now.

"What!?"

She still remained calm, even though I was looking at her like she was nuts. I mean, she had just suggested I kiss a girl. I'm a girl. Girls didn't... kiss each other. Did they?

"I have friends that have done it, for like... practice and stuff. It's not that weird. That way when they do finally kiss boys they already kind of know what to expect and what to do and stuff. You could do the same thing just so you know what kissing feels like."

"I don't know. It seems weird to me. Besides, how would I ask any of my friends to do such a thing?"

She half smiled.

"Well, you don't have to. I'm the one that suggested it. You can just kiss me."

Kiss Klara? My head was spinning. All of a sudden nothing made sense anymore and I felt like I could faint. What she was suggesting was ridiculous and weird and, in my opinion, not normal. I had never heard of other girls kissing each other for practice. What if Klara was making this up? Then again, why would she have been making it up? She had to be telling the truth. Right?

I took a deep breath.

"Okay. I guess that could work."

She patted the spot on the bed beside her and so I got up and walked over, taking a seat next to her.

"It's not that big of a deal really," she told me. "Just close your eyes."

I did as I was told, leaned in a little, and sure enough I felt Klara's soft, pink lips press against mine, light like a feather. It wasn't a quick thing though. It wasn't like I had imagined. She didn't pull away. Instead she started to kiss me with more intensity, and my whole body felt like it was going weak. I was barely aware of the fact that at some point one of her hands had come up to rest against my cheek. The room was spinning.

I found it hard to breathe evenly when we finally broke apart.

"Well?" she asked.

I took a deep breath.

"That wasn't like how you described kissing Jake," I replied.

She gave me a curious look.

"What do you mean?"

"It wasn't just... okay. I felt it. I felt that... that magic that people talk about."

Her look turned to concern.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sadie. I didn't feel anything like that."

"What? How could you not?" I asked, a crushed feeling washing over me. "I know what I felt. It was amazing. You had to have felt it too."

She shook her head slowly.

"No. I didn't. It wasn't like that for me, Sadie."

"Klara...."

"Just stop," she said, cutting me off. "I don't know why you're saying what you're saying. This was just supposed to be a learning experience for you. Don't make it all weird. Don't act like it meant something."

"But I think maybe it did."

She stood up then.

"Sadie, stop!" Her voice was sharp when she was angry. "That's weird okay? It's weird and it's wrong. We're just friends."

My heart was beingripped into a million pieces. Maybe kissing Klara was weird. Maybe it was evenwrong. I didn't know. I was so confused. I didn't know what to think, or whatto feel. Something had happened that I had never expected to happen and Ididn't know how to deal with it, but that didn't mean my gut feeling was wrong.My gut feeling told me that there was something more to this, and I needed tofind out what that was.