diminutives

photograph

he went home with her file on his hand. he was not able to find the answer to his question. what made her leave her scholarship. he think back on the day he received the news from kris, his old pal in college whose in the same department as maine.

[ 5 years ago somewhere in new york]

"hello, rj?"

hey kris! musta si maine?

"that's why i called"

why? what happened?

hearing her name i started to panic. i will never forgive myself if something happened to her while i'm not there.

"dude she dropped her scholarship. hindi sya nag-enrol and when i asked dean policarpio, he told me that maine dropped out of the program. she just said she can not afford the expenses anymore. dean even offered her alternative and other options because he knows how good of a student maine is pero tumanggi daw sya."

tangina!!! did you check with bella if she's living with her?

"i did. i kept an eye on bella but then i found out she's not living with her anymore. i asked her kung magkasama pa sila ni maine pero sabi nya before she decided to leave school nagpaalam din sya kay bella na aalis na. at wala syang sinabi na dahilan or any information kung san sya pupunta. so ano rj? what's your plan? pano ko babantayan yung pinababantayan mo kung wala na dito?"

shit! kasalanan ko to eh! shit! uuwi na ko. i have to call this off!

"pare isip tayo ng solusyon wag kang magpadalos-dalos alalahanin mo si riza."

tangina pare! i can't lose her! this is not how the plan works! i have to find her... i need to call lolo and book a flight back

"o sige gagawin mo yan. uuwi ka dito sa pinas. tapos ano? hahanapin mo? saan? lahat ng mga kaibigan nyo at mga naging close friend ni maine pati nga mga ka-banda nya tinanong na namin eh. they only have one info... she left with no reason... so anong magagawa mo?"

anong gusto mong gawin ko kris? tumanga? tangina pare si maine ang pinag-uusapan dito!

i was so angry. at myself. at the situatuon. at everything.... but there's one thing on my mind. i can't lose her. not now. not ever.

"alam ko pare kaya nga gumagawa na kami nila mark ng paraan eh but i tell you pare, you coming back will not change that fact. and for what? you lost maine already. but would you also want to lose your sister? i'm not saying balewala ang pagalis ni maine pero pare don't you think it's wiser to save one if you can't save both? your sister needs you. think about riza."

i can't think. i was lost. i know kris is making sense but i know i can't just make the girl i intend to spend my lifetime with slip away.

"pare magulo yung isip mo ngayon alam ko. pero i know if maine's here she would not want you to lose your sister at her expense. baka mas hindi ka mapatawad ni maine. hinahanap namin sya. hindi kami titigil nila mark maghanap kay maine. brother's code."

pare... hin... tangina... hindi ko alam....

"get everything done there. you'll get her back. you'll find her. have faith. magpapaliwanag ka pa sa kanya. we promise to update you if we find anything"

salamat kris. pakisabi na rin kila mark.

"don't lose hope. be strong for riza. isipin mo na lang, unconsciously maine is helping you make sure riza will be ok. alam namin kung gaano ka kamahal ni maine. and how much you love her. and with the sacrifices you're doing i'm sure there has got to be something good at the end. rainbow comes after a bad weather."