Queen Bee's Diary

III | 05 - Her Dilemma

OUR VACATION ended and we're back in reality. Balik sa buhay namin kung saan umaalis na naman si Justin para magtrabaho.

I went to work regularly until I received a message that he's back in the country. I was excited to met him but I can't find him. Umuwi ako sa bahay knowing he's there waiting for me, but I saw no one... not even his shadow.

I tried to call him but he's out of reach. I check my phone and re-read his message.

From: King Bee
Love, I'm home. I missed you so much! See you later. I love you so much. 😘

That's his last message and I can't contact him anymore. A message that made me long for him even more.

"Mahal, nasaan ka ba?" Nanghihinang tanong ko habang pinipigilan ang sariling wag umiyak.

Is he okay? Is he somewhere safe? Did something happen? Where is he?!

I went to his condo unit and roam around thinking I could find a clue where he was.

Sa loob ng silid niya, may tatlong naka-frame na picture. One was me, the other was the two of us, then his family picture.

Family picture.

Then something hit me. Right! I am not the only family he had. Nagmamadaling umalis ako sa unit niya at pumara ng taxi.

• • •

"HE'S NOT HERE." Mataray na sabi ng Mommy ni Justin pagkaharap niya sakin.

"Ma'am, please. He didn't call me today." Nag-aalalang sabi ko. Parang mababaliw na ako kakaisip kung nasaan na siya ngayon. Nawala na yung hiya ko sa Mommy niya dahil sa takot at pag-aalala na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

I was freaking scared on where is he, what happened to him, why he's not calling, why I can't find him anywhere— ugh!

Where is he?

Where's my Justin?

Where's my king bee?

"I can't reach to his phone. I've been calling him all day... but his phone is out." I mumbled quietly though I felt like screaming my heart out.

Nagpa-panic na ako at gusto ko ng sumigaw sa sobrang takot pero hindi ko kaya kasi Mommy niya ang kausap ko. I'll earn more negative points, and worst she will hide him away. I tried to control my hand from shaking.

No, I can't break down. I have to be strong.

"What makes you think I'll help you out?" Mataray na tanong niya.

I can feel disgust in every word she said, she never liked me. She never was and I can't change that. But, I lost pride when I fall in love with his son. I took everything people throw at me, because at the end of the day, Justin still loves me. His love made me stronger and that what matters to me the most. I know he will accept me wholeheartedly.

"I know you don't like me." I said bravely. My heart beats wildly since I never talk to her bluntly. "But, I was hoping you would be. Justin needs me and I need him too. I don't care if you'll accept me or what, just help me find him."

She look at me with a frown on her forehead.

"Please?" I begged. "Please? Miss Alixee, please?"

I never begged... but when it comes to him, it all goes naturally. I need to see him.

I can feel everything falls apart when she just look at me— like I was just a beggar at in front of her. Like she wanted to get rid off me.

"I-I know I am not worthy of Justin's love, but I love him and... I'm scared. I don't know what happens to him right now." I try to shove off my tears aside but it just come out. "Ma'am, I can't go on without him. Mababaliw po ako. Please let me see him."