Returning To Loving You

The Newton Theory

Fame became a liquid concept to me. I spent so much time under the radar that everything back on Wawanakwa faded into this unimportant thing that I never even thought about anymore. I hadn't talked with one of the other contestants in months. In fact, I wasn't even sure what they were up to these days. Not that it mattered. I'm a 17 year old intellectual who has better things to worry about than how a few people from last summer are doing.

And yes, I did end up working for McClean, but only because of the agreement I made with him. I keep him happy, and he keeps me under the radar. I can only assume that I wasn't the first and only person he called, as I had appeared in four episodes and expressed no interest in doing any more. But chances are, everyone else was too busy trying to grasp onto fame to assist this sadistic son of a bitch.

It wasn't until after I found out the show was nominated for a Gemmy Award that I caught a small clip of an angelic voice on the radio.

It was Trent. His voice was distinct and confident, but the song was sad, and when I got the chance, I searched the song for a band come up.

The Drama Brothers had recently released a hit single called 'Bounded by Bones'. Trent's pain echoed in every note he sang. I had a sneaking suspicion I know who that's about.

I admit, I started checking out The Drama Brothers more and more after that. It wasn't until I was watching a music video for a song called 'Cynical Eyes' that I heard another voice follow Trent's. The voice was raw and young, but strong and full of emotion.

I know your cynical eyes want me to leave you alone
But I'd do anything to bring you from your throne
I know it would hurt too much to have you back
But I'd risk everything I've ever had
To have your cynical eyes within my reach

It took me too long to recover from Cody's five lines. I didn't even hear the rest of the song. My head started spinning in a direction that didn't exist. I lost balance and had to sit down.

The next thing I did, I certainly wouldn't have done if I had been thinking as clearly as I normally do, but I felt drunk, as if I had downed every bottle of Jack in my dad's "secret" cupboard.

The phone was ringing from the other end. I held it pressed against my hair, which was sweaty and gross from nervousness.

The other end picked up.

"Hello"

"It's Noah" I said, not really knowing how to start such an odd conversation.

"Oh, what's up dude? It's been a while"

I nodded, despite knowing he couldn't possibly see it. I took a breath.

"Trent, that song, Cynical Eyes, who wrote that?"

I traced my finger nervously across the seam of my pants.

"We write all our songs together. But if you're thinking it's Cody's song to you, you're right"

The dizziness came back.

"For real?" Was all I could manage. Trent seemed to sense how many emotions were flooding back to me. I mean, I had gone months without even thinking about Cody, and then I hear this song, his voice feeling every word.

"Yo, Noah, if you're in Toronto sometime this week we should hang out"

"Qubec, sorry"

"Ah that's okay. So how are you doing?"

I didn't want to make small talk. But what else was I going to do? Listen to Cody's voice pipe out words too painful to hear?

"I'm alright"