Returning To Loving You

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The hotel was kind enough to bring our luggage to the hospital for us. It was when I was shuffling through my things, looking for something to read when I heard a crinkling noise. I pulled away some sweater vests (that seriously needed to be washed) and found a package covered in brown paper.

Cody's birthday gift!

Maybe giving him the gift was a good way of saying "I still have feelings for you and I forgive you for being a dipshit". Probably not the best way, but good enough for two teenage reality stars still suffering from the physical and emotional trauma of Total Drama. And hey, I can't try too hard. I've made my name to mean the "immensely indifferent sweatervest kid". Cody will understand.

The dinner that the hospital provided was pretty much as mediocre and tasteless as you'd expect. Everyone, except those too injured to get out of bed, went down to the cafeteria. Sitting at a table with Trent, Tyler, and Justin, I started mentally mapping out exactly what I wanted to say to Cody. This was partially to drain out the terrible sound of Justin whining about the stubborn ash he couldn't wash out of his hair, but mostly because I knew if I didn't have some sort of preparation, I'd fall flat and destroy the already fragile foundation that Cody and I have been rebuilding. I didn't want to mess up so badly that it couldn't be rebuilt a third time.

"What's on your mind, Noah?" Trent asked. He must've gotten tired of Justin's bitching as well.

"Oh, it's just Cody" I said vaguely, not wanting to get into my own head about it.

"That's still going on? Come on dude, move on" Justin huffed, but he was only being half-serious. Contrary to my initial opinion of him, Justin had a surprising amount of depth to him. Relatively, of course, but certainly more than it appeared on television. It made me wonder if I came off more shallow than I intended to. Not that it mattered; Total Drama was in the past now. So even if I completely bomb it with Cody, at least I can be done with this damn show.

"Nope, I'm just going to grow up and communicate. It's what's gone wrong for us since the beginning. Even if he and I don't work out, then at least I'll have learned something from it" I said.

Justin didn't crack another joke. Instead he nodded in agreement, as if showing his respect for my decision. I hope that he and Trent can work out better than Cody and I did. I don't claim to give Justin too much credit, but maybe he could learn from my mistakes.

Speaking of which, as far as Justin and Trent, I haven't heard any news about them. They weren't lucky enough to be put in the same hospital room together, so instead of creating a relationship together, Justin was undoubtedly creating ninety ways he could kill Harold in his sleep. Trent got put with Duncan, which had been going about as well as you'd expect.

"So what are going to say to him?" Tyler asked, a little too long after the topic had dropped.

"I really, really don't know. But I'm sure I'll find a way to fuck up" I said.

"Amen to that, buddy!" Justin cheered, raising his plastic cup in ironic celebration.

I sneered at him.

"Thanks for the confidence, asshole"

Although I didn't need Justin sarcastically applauding my microscopic amount of courage to know that I was on shakey ground with myself. As much as I had been avoiding think about it, this is probably one of the last few days I'll have before I'm officially out of my Total Drama contract, which means I only have a few days before Cody and I part for good. I've been given an ultimatum that will define my relationship with Cody in the future, or if I'll even have one at all.

"Eh, he clearly still adores you. You'll be alright" Trent said, giving a pointed look at Justin, who was still laughing at the harrassment he had given me minutes ago.