Need Me

Blame it on the alcohol

A/U I've been obsessed with this song lately and is portraying my mood. Ok enjoy the chapter.

Jace's POV
"Ok ok truth or dare?" Alec asked me.
Somehow, I got high and a bit drunk with Alec. And now we're playing truth or dare.
"Truth."
"Oh you pussy." Alec laughs. "Ok hmm. Would you give a dude a hand job for 50 bucks?"
"Hell no!" I say.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah seriously. Would you?"
"Well duh. I'm gay."
I look at him. "Ah I forgot."
We both laugh.
"Ok it's my turn." I say. "Truth or dare?"

After awhile of pointless bullshit, I check the time and it's 2:00 am.
"Shit I'm tired." I yawn.
"Me too. Imma change I'll be back." Alec leaves the room.
I quickly get changed into plaid pajama pants and a grey t shirt.
Alec walks in five minutes later in an oversized black hoodie and sweats with the tight things on the bottom.
"You want the bed? I'll sleep on the floor." Alec says.
"Nah man it's your bed. I'll sleep on the floor."
"What if we both sleep on the bed? I promise not to make a move on you." Alec says with a wink.
I sigh. "Fine whatever."
I climb into bed and go to the wall and lay down.
Alec turns off the light and lays beside me.
We cover up and look at the ceiling. Alec turns to me and says "thanks for ya know, coming over."
I look at him. "I didn't want you to be alone."
He smiles and turns the other way so his back is facing me. I turn my body so that it's facing his back.
I get an idea. A stupid fucking idea that I'm going to blame on the drugs.
I scoot closer to him and hesitantly place my arm around him. He has his hands under his head and my hand is on his chest.
Suddenly he turns around and snuggles into my chest. I wrap both my arms around him. Whilst one hand is securely around his waist, the other is playing with his hair. He has his hands on my chest, holding tightly onto the fabric like he's afraid I'll leave.
I pull him in impossibly tighter and sigh. I like this. I know I shouldn't and I know it's wrong but. I like this. He's just so perfect and sweet and beautiful. His hair smells like vanilla and he dresses adorably. His laugh gives me butterflies.
Let's just blame this on the alcohol.

Alec's POV
It's dark. Literally no light whatsoever. I can hear something but I can't tell what it is. I turn in circles looking for anything at this point.
Then, I see a light. A blinding light that gives me just a bit of hope.
Once I get to it, the entire place lights up.
I notice that I'm in a basement.
I don't know how I got here.
I see a figure emerge from the wall.
"Jace?" I whisper
He comes closer.
I notice that his lips are replaced with a zipper and he's holding a knife.
"Jace? Jace it's me. Alec."
He doesn't say anything.
Then he jabs the knife into my chest and turns it. His other hand is on my shoulder.
I gasp. And blood comes out of my mouth.
"J-Jace"
Then it all goes black

I wake up and scream. I scream as loud as I can.
Jace jumps up and looks at me. "Alec? Alec it's ok!"
I scream and jump out of bed and to the corner of my room and sit down with my knees to my chest.
Then I start to cry.
Jace approaches me slowly.
"Alec? It was just a bad dream." He sits in front of me.
I shake my head no.
He scoots over so he is sitting beside me. "It's ok." He puts his arm around me and we sit like this for awhile.

Jace's POV
I have my arms wrapped around Alec as we sit in the corner of his room. I don't know what happened. I think he had a nightmare.
I look over at Alec and he is just staring into space.
"Alec?"
No response.
He looks like he isn't even here.
So, I take his hand and lead him to the bed. He just looks at me but doesn't say anything. I lay him down and I lay beside him.
"Are you ok?" I ask.
He just shakes his head no.
He turns to face me and then scoots over so that he can lay his head on my chest and his arm draped over my stomach.
I protectively wrap my arms around him. "I've got you."
When he finally falls asleep, I whisper into the dark, "I've got you."

Alec's POV : thoughts
Love is a stupid thing. It will tear you apart piece by piece. Why would you love someone when they will never love you back?
Parents are supposed to love you. They are supposed to take care of you. They are supposed to want what's best for you.
They aren't supposed to hurt you, or in my case, beat the shit outta you and force you into sex.
The first time I had sex was when I was 10 and it was with my father.
He came into my room. My mom was passed out in the bathroom. He sits on my bed and tells me that we are going to have some fun. Then, he takes his clothes off and tells me to take mine off. Slowly.
Then I bet you know what happens next.
My mother. She's supposed to hold me when I was little and read me stories but that never happened.
What I do do is I drag her into the house when she's drunk so that she doesn't freeze to death. I make her food. I get her cigarettes.
Jace. Where do I even start. I can't keep this up. I love him so fucking much but I know that he can't feel the same about me.
I don't do relationships. I do sex. One night stands. That's it. That's all I'm good for.
I've always been alone.
And that's not going to change now.

A/U
So hello. I just got a wave of love sadness if that makes sense? Like, I love someone who is never going to love me back which is the inspiration for Alec's thoughts part.
I watched a movie called when we first met. And this guy "loves" this girl for three years but she is marrying another guy. So he goes back in time over and over again to try and make her fall in love with him. But the thing is, the love of his life is a different girl. And I'm like ME. I've loved this person for two years but I just need to move on. Ok sorry bout that haha.
Do you have a significant other?