Need Me

Tell me everything that makes you feel at ease

Alec's POV:
I woke up in a ball on top of something. Or someone.
I sit up and realize that I'm sitting, curled up on Jace's lap whilst he is sat up against his headboard with a Strong hold on me.
I smile but it quickly fades once last night catches up on me.
Why the fuck would I tell him!
What's wrong with me?
He probably thinks I'm a freak.
In a panic, I break off of Jace's hold and stumble out of bed.
He stirs awake and opens his eyes. "Alec?"
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't-I shouldn't have come here I'm-"
He cuts off my rambling by jumping out of bed and heading towards me.
But, I back away and cover my mouth with my hand. "No no no."
I don't know why I'm acting like this but I'm so fucking scared right now.
I hurriedly run out of his room, out of his house.
How could I be so stupid?
I slowly walk home, already knowing that my dad will be pissed that I was gone. But I didn't care.
I was too worried about what Jace was thinking tho I don't want to stick around to hear what he had to say.
I push open my front door and make my way Into my room.
I lay on my bed and realize that I'm still wearing Jace's letterman jacket.
I pull it tighter around me and close my eyes. It's Thursday but I'm not going to school.

Jace's POV:
How could I just let him walk out like that?
Jesus Alec.
I call his phone. Multiple times actually. He never answers.
Running my hands through my hair, I let out a loud sigh and lay down in bed. Everything that he said last night comes back to my mind. I don't understand how someone could do something so horrible to someone else. Especially your son.
How is he handling everything on his own?
I wouldn't be able to.
Here's the difference between Alec and I. He so strong and I'm not.
I close my eyes and smack my hands to the mattress.
It's already 10:00 am so I'm not going to school. I'm surprised that my parents didn't force me up.
I decide to call Alec one more time. I really need him to be ok.
Of course, he didn't answer.
Suddenly my phone goes off and I think it's Alec only to be disappointed that it's not.
From Brock:
Dude where are you? We have a football meeting after school and coach is going to be pissed.
Damnit. I decide that I better go to school. I don't want to piss off coach. So I get dressed and hop in my car.

Alec's POV:
I wake up to my dad pulling me off the bed. I fall onto the floor with a thud and open my eyes looking up at my dad.
"The school called this morning. Care to tell me why you aren't there?" He slurs.
"Well how would I explain all these bruises ?"
I shouldn't have said anything but I was pissed.
He picks me up and throws me onto the bed.
"You'd say it was from some assholes at school!" He yells in my face.
I bring my arms together and squeeze my eyes shut.
"Where were you last night? Huh!" He looks at Jace's jacket.
"Oh I see. You were with your new fuckbuddy huh?"
"No." I say monotonously.
He smacks me in the face and says, "don't lie to me boy!"
So I don't say anything. It wouldn't matter either way.
I just sit and take the beating.

Time skip to after school and football practice so around 5pm

Im sitting on the kitchen floor, smoking weed.
Yeah.
I really wanted to go to the club but then I think of Jace and I don't want him to hate me even more than he already does.
I usually don't care what other people think but... I don't know.
I hear a knock on the door. More like continuous pounding.
"I'm coming I'm coming" I sich and get up with the blunt still in my hand.
I open the door and there he is in all his glory. Jace is standing there, looking at me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask
He looks at the blunt then at my face.
He grabs my face with his hand and says, "new bruises."
"Yeah well what did you expect?" I fall back a bit and use the doorway as a support beam.
"Why would you go back here? Alec, he's a monster and if you think that I'm letting you stay here than your out of your mind." He has suck a stern look on his face but i keep mine blank.
"I can't Jace." I swallow hard and throw the blunt on the ground, stomping it out.
He follows my movements and then looks back Into my eyes.
"Alec please get In the car."
"Why are you even here huh? I'm disgusting and dirty and you don't like me so why! Why are you still here?!" I scream at him.
He looks at me perplexed and says, "you are not gross or dirty or anything. You are beautiful and this isn't your fault Alec. I like you. You really think I don't?" He looks so sad right now.
I look down. "I don't know what to think anymore."
He steps forward and wraps his arms around me once again.
For some reason, not repulsed by his touch. His is good. It makes me feel safe and ok. Like I'm not disgusting.
I keep my hand in a fist against my chest but I lay my head in his shoulder.
"I won't hurt you, I promise." He whispers in my ear.
"I know."

Jace's POV:
I get Alec to get in the car with me. He doesn't seem to want to be touched and I completely understand. I just want him to know that I will never hurt him.
I drive back to my house where it seems that we have been spending most of our nights.
He is still wearing my letterman jacket which I find adorable.
He looks so small right now. And I'm not talking about the fact that he is so underweight. He is just curled in a ball smushed against the door.
Once I pull into the house, I get out once Alec does and I grab his hand. He squeezes it tightly so I squeeze back so that he knows I'm here.
I walk in and my moms voice is the first thing I hear.
"Oh good Jace you're home. Dinner is ready." She walks into the foyer and sees us and she goes up to Alec, about to touch his face.
He flinched back and puts his head down.
"Oh honey what happened?" She looks at me.
"Just some guys at school." I say.
"Well come in there is more than enough for everyone." She looks at our still interlocked hands and smiles, walking back into the kitchen.
"Cmon." I start to walk forward but he stays still.
"I'm not hungry." He still has his head down.
I walk back over to his side. "Hey." I life his head up with my free hand.
"It's ok to eat Alec."
He just looks back down.
So I pull him into the dining room where everyone is sat and I sit down and motion for Alec to sit beside me. He does so and looks at his plate.
Everyone is in a conversation so I look at Alec and I say, "please just eat a bit?"
He nods his head reluctantly.
I watch him pick up a bit of mashed potatoes and slowly put it into his mouth. I smile and start to eat my food.

Alec's POV:
I chew on the mashed potatoes, feeling disgusted with myself.
I can't do this.
I look around the table and see that everyone is immersed in something so I grab my napkin and spit the food into it quickly.
I crumble the napkin and put my hand on my lap.
It's going to be ok.
Everyone seems to be almost done and Jace's brother looks at my plate and says, "you didn't eat anything?"
"Oh uh no I'm not that hungry." I smile.
Jace looks over at me and frowns, knowing that I'm lying.
I'm so fucking hungry.
But I can't eat. I don't want to gain wait. I need to be perfect and skinny.
What's a little bit of hunger right?
Jace grabs my hand, telling his mom that we are going upstairs and drags me up.
Once we are in his room he locks the door and looks at me.
"Alec, why aren't you eating?"
"I'm not hungry." I say messing with my hands.
"Yes you are. You are so thin Alec why won't you eat?"
"I don't need to ok I'm fine!" I raise my voice a bit.
"No toy are not! You are killing yourself! Do you realize that!"
"I don't care!" I wrap my arms around my stomach and tears leak from my eyes. "I just don't care." I whisper.
He looks at me like he just lost his parents.
I sit on the floor, arms wrapped around my self.
Jace sits beside me and I lean my head into his shoulder.
Wrapping his arm around me he says, "your beautiful."

A/U
Sorry for being inactive for so long. Finally the weekend so that's good. I'm going on an autism awareness walk tomorrow so I'm pretty excited.
Also I will try to update more lovelies 💕
How is everyone?
QOTD: what is your favorite movie?
You are all beautiful/handsome/attractive people and I appreciate your existence loves 💓