"Friends"

"Friends" Chapter 14

VALERIE'S POV

I looked up to Jimmy holding Gio's sweatshirt.

"Did.. Did you sleep with him?" His hands began to shake. I reached my hand up to my forehead and looked him deep in his eyes.

I couldn't even believe what he was asking me. I looked around the room.

I would never ever cheat on Jimmy like that.

Although, I feel like I did.

"No... I would never..." I barely got the words out.

"You didn't..?" He looked so relieved.

"I couldn't..." I took a deep breath and tried to think. "I kissed him..." I saw the hurt in his eyes as a tear fell down his cheek. "I'm so sorry... I just wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me... but I couldn't do it...." I ran my hands through my hair.

He threw the sweatshirt back onto the bed and looked down at the floor.

"Listen... I am so sorry I left you there like that. I know that an apology won't help but it's all I can offer right now... I thought out of everybody in my life, you would be the person who would be the most understanding. I've known you for years... I thought you would be able to support me through thick and thin. This is my life."

"I know it's your life! I get it! You are the funniest guy I've ever known and you deserve every opportunity that your receive because you're so hardworking. I understand what you do and I know that you're sorry... It's just an awful time for me, and you couldn't be there."

"But I'm here now..." He took a step towards me.

"That's exactly what scares me! I appreciate you being here now, but what about when I really need you and you can't be there for me? I can handle you leaving to go do your job, and I know that filming movies and making people laugh is what you love to do and what you need in life, but what about what I need? I need you. I know that you love comedy and film and this is the best thing for you, but what about what's best for me? And all the things you said to me... We're they all just lies? Because when you left you just didn't care at all..." Our eyes never broke contact. "I don't know... Maybe this just won't work."

His lips parted and he took a step towards me.

"God, don't say that... I love you. I don't want anybody else. You're the best thing in my life and everything else, the movies, the comedy, my dream... it all means nothing to me if I can't have you." He reached his hand over to my arm and I didn't pull away this time.

The week after I met Jimmy, I remember him taking me out to dinner at a restaurant down the street from his apartment.

I distinctly remember him wearing a striped sweater and jeans. I always thought stripes looked really good on him.

"So! Tell me something about you!" I smiled over to him and took a bite of my pasta.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know... How was your childhood? Who was your first love? Are you a virgin?" He nearly spit out his beer when I asked the last question

He cleared his throat. "Ok! let's see... My childhood was average, nothing significant about it.. And no, I am not a virgin!" He raised his eyebrow and winked at me.

"Ooooooh... Lose it in a bathroom stall in junior high?" I giggled and reached over to his plate. I took one of his fries and threw it into my mouth.

"Haha oh no... I'm a lot more classier than you think, missy... Now what was the other question?"

"Ummm..." I chewed and swallowed. "Your first love!"

"Oh, well... I don't want to sound cheesy.. But.... comedy." He smirked at me and bit his tongue.

"Hmm.. How so?"

"Well, not trying to sound pitiful, but when I was a kid, I didn't have a ton of friends. I remember all of the boys from my school would all be hanging out on the weekends and going to baseball games and such, but I preferred staying home and watching Taxi or anything that made me laugh. Even though I wasn't being social, I was happy and my parents didn't mind at all. Anyways, I grew up a little bit, and it was in high school when I began to do impressions of people. And I slowly began to make friends. Everyone thought I was really funny and that's just how it worked out! I never really had any high school girlfriends because all the girls thought I was 'immature' but I just refused to grow up." He took a sip of his beer. "So yeah! Story of my life."

"But... What do you like about comedy?" He set the bottle down and laughed.

"Jeez, Val! What is this? An interview?"

"No... You're just interesting." I set my face in my hand and rested my elbow on the table.

He smiled his remarkable smile at me and I couldn't help but blush.

"Well... What do I like about comedy? Making people laugh is probably the most fulfilling feeling of all. Knowing that you possibly made someone's day better? Knowing that you just put somebody in a better mood? There's no feeling like that. It's the best!" He threw his hands up and smiled.

One of the reasons why I loved being around him was that... He was so passionate about comedy and it was, to me, the coolest thing ever. I had never met somebody like that and it intrigued me.

That's why I couldn't do that to him. I was being selfish. I wanted him all to myself and that's not what a relationship is about. That's why we should have just remained friends...

"Jimmy... I'm not making you choose between me and your one true love... I'm making the decision for you. Now please just leave..." I couldn't look at him.

I was so heartbroken I just wanted to scream and cry.

"Valerie I am not leaving." He took a step towards me.

"Yes you are! Get out! I can't do this to you.. I love you too much to let you do this...... Leave!" I gave him a hard shove in the chest and he took a step back.

I saw his lip quiver and more tears fell down his cheeks.

"I can't see you like this... Please leave, for me Jimmy..." I slowly sat down on the floor and covered my face with my hands.

I didn't hear him move at all. All I could hear was myself trying to catch my breath. I began to shake because my floor was cold.

I felt a piece if clothing wrap around my arms and I felt his hands briefly touch my leg. I looked up and he had wrapped his SNL sweatshirt around me.

I heard him sniffle and he walked out of my bedroom.