"Friends"

"Friends" Chapter 41

JIMMY'S POV

I walked into the studio and decided to go up to my office first. I still couldn't get Valerie off my mind and I didn't mind, but it was driving me crazy... She was driving me crazy. I walked into my office and shut the door loudly. I was in such a bad mood partially because I still didn't know what to do. I sat down behind my desk and tapped my fingers on the table. I heard a song in the car on the way here and I couldn't get the lyrics out of my head...

-Tell me, tell me baby,

Why can't you leave me?

Cause even though I shouldn't want it

I gotta have it..

I want you!

Head in the clouds,

Got no weight on my shoulders...

I should be wiser...-

I really couldn't remember the rest of the words but it was stuck in my head and it reminded me of us.

Fuck.

So many thoughts were swirling around in my head that I didn't even notice Higgins walk in.

"Hey, Jimmy!" He closed the door behind him and I kept my eyes glued to the desk. "How's it goin?"

"It's fine." Usually I would ask him how he's doing, but I just wasn't in the mood for small talk.

"Ok... You alright?" He pulled out the chair in front of my desk and sat down.

"Yeah, Steve. I'm fine." I pulled out my phone and went on Twitter. I just wasn't in the mood to be social.

"Well, you never call me Steve and you don't sound fine." He leaned forward in the chair.

"I'm fine!!! Ste- Higgins." I shot him an annoyed look and he put his hands up.

"Jeez, man. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning..."

"You know what? I FUCKING DID!" I stood up and threw my phone down onto the desk. He jumped back and looked over at my phone.

"Hey, hey... Chill out, Jimmy."

"No... You know what?" I began to pace. "I'm sooo FUCKING tired of people telling me to 'calm down' and 'chill out'!! I am so over it... I don't have to calm down if I don't want to!!!"

"Okay.. Jimmy talk to me, what is wrong?"

"You wanna know what's wrong? This fucking girl is what's wrong!" I hit the side of a filing cabinet with my hand and Higgins shot up onto his feet.

Fuck that hurt.

"Jimmy, man..." He walked closer to me and put his hand on my arm. I slapped it away and looked into his eyes. He looked so concerned and I just wanted to break down and cry.

"I love her, man... I don't know what to fucking do... I will never be good enough..." I felt a tingling sensation in my eyes and warm tears streamed down my face.

"Okay, is this who I think your talking about?" I nodded my head and tried to catch my breath.

Silence filled the room and I didn't know what else to say.

"Fuck that." My eyes shot up to him and he smiled his classic Steve Higgins smile.

"Wh- What?"

"I said, Fuck that. You and I have gone over this sooo many times, James." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. He unfolded it and handed it to me.