Safe & Sound

Chapter 1

Today is the start of a new beginning. A chance to restart.

As I start to walk inside the giant castle I now know of as my new school, I feel my note inside the pocket of my fleece. I read it to myself in my head.

Dear Macbeth,

Today is a new start. A fresh slate. Your first day of school. New school. First day at a new school. Remember to bring rope, backpack, binder, and lunch. Don't pack a big lunch, but if you do, don't eat lots of it. No one eats their lunch anymore. Just remember to look down. Don't look anyone in the eyes. They'll think your crazy. Look down and just keep walking down the halls. Talk to Helena. Mom told Helena to talk to you. She's the closest thing you have to a friend. Don't tell anyone about it. Don't be stupid.

Macbeth.

Don't be stupid. It sounds easy enough. Don't talk unless your asked to. Talk to Helena though. She can be your friend. Whatever you do though, don't tell anyone about it. You want to appear as normal as possible. You won't have any chance of making friends if they know you have Social Anxiety Disorder.

I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety a few years ago. I knew I had it. I just never told anyone. One day my mom finally found out. I still remember that day. I'll never forget it no matter how hard I try.

It was during some lunch in grade 6. I was sitting with my friend Elise. Elise was my closest friend for as long as I can remember. We were talking, when all of a sudden she brings up a rough topic for me. Anxiety. At the time, no one knew that I was struggling with this. Elise was talking about how a girl in her book had Anxiety, and how the girl was such a freak. How she had no friends because she had Anxiety. How if Elise had Anxiety, she would kill herself.

Somehow in the way she talked I knew she was trying to bother me. I could tell from the moment she started telling me how she thinks Anxiety is stupid and how people with it are just being over dramatic.

Soon I couldn't take it any longer. So I got up to get some water and calm myself down. I could feel an attack coming. I certainly did not want one of those in school. I was just about to leave when Elise calls to me.

"Macbeth! How would you feel if you had Anxiety."

"I don't know. It would probably suck." I reply, but clearly that wasn't the answer Elise was looking for.

"You should now, shouldn't you?" She asks in a teasing tone. A tone that still haunts me.

"No, why?"

"Because you have it." She says accusingly.

That's when hell brakes loose. I feel fog filling up my brain. My hands start to tremble. A buzzing sound fills my ears. My knees are weak. My legs are giving up. My heart is palpitating. Beating so hard against my rib cage I wouldn't be afraid if it burst out of my chest. My breath shortens. My brain is switched into attack mode.

I stare at her. "Why do you think that!"

Elise doesn't reply. She just looks at me. Satisfied. She got what she wanted. I have and Anxiety attack now, and no one can help. No one knows that this happens to me. A smug look is pained on her face. This sets me off.

"Why do you think that!" I demand. Now people have turned around to see the fight.

She doesn't reply again. "WHY DO YOU THINK THAT!" I scream at her.

My teachers comes running into the room.

Everything blurs.

I'm screaming at Elise. I fall to the ground. People surround me.