Safe & Sound

Chapter 6

Lung Cancer. I have Lung Cancer. Turn's out I've had it for a while, it just was barley there. A couple of days ago, it suddenly boomed. It spread like a wild fire, destroying my lungs. Mom blames the doctors. I haven't had Anxiety for a while. The shortness of breath, feeling weak, not eating much. The attack on the first day of school was the last time I will ever have an Anxiety attack. All the doctors I've been through have never suspected the cancer, but, none of them have looked into it. Last time I visited Doctor Hannah, she decided to look into it, so those were the 'tests' the ran on me.

I learnt all of this right after I woke up from the dream at the doctor office. Mom was a mess, crying, wailing even. This brings me to right now. I'm sitting in the doctors bed, emotionless. All of this is a lot of information to take in. Mom's beside me, bawling, and even the Nurse looks sad.

"15 years is too short." She says quietly. "I'm so sorry."

Sorry? Why is she sorry? Then it hits me. The percent of people who survive lung cancer is 4%.

I don't start to cry. Nothing even seems to affect me. Death has never been closer, shouldn't I be scared? But none of it ever seems real. It all kind of seems like a horrible fantasy. Death has too often felt like something that will never reach me. You only realize the actuality of how terrible it is when it's too late.

"You can still cure it right? She hasn't had it for a while yet! You can still fix her!" Mom says, loudly.

There still is hope. Cancer has 4 stages. 1 being the beginning and 4 the end. If i'm still only on stage 1, the Cancer can wear away with Chemotherapy, or surgery's that eliminate the cancer. I could get a lung transplant, or some other kind of surgery. I'm not an expert on this, but I'm sure an expert could find a safe way to helping me get better. 

Doctor Hannah looks down at her clipboard sadly. "Macbeth, your already on stage 3."

I look back at Mom with a worried look. "What does that mean?" She says.

"It's too late." I respond quietly.

Mom tries to smile, as she pushes back my hair. "It's okay my girl." She says, staying strong. "You'll be okay. I'll make sure of that."

Doctor Hannah smiles weakly, and I notice the Nurse crying silently. Doctor nods at her to leave the room, so it is just us 3. "Were going to do another test on you, just to see what's wrong, and what we can do."

I nod, and take my arm out for Doctor Hannah to put a needle in.

"Not just yet, we'll give you a little bit of time to regain yourself, and we'll preform this test at about 6:00." She looks at Mom. "Sound good?"

Mom nods, and Doctor Hannah gets up. "We have a hospital gown, here, we'll need for you to put that on." She gestures to a folded up, thin, what looks like a large piece of cloth. Then she points to a pamphlet and TV. "This is the channels pamphlet, feel free to watch whatever you like on the TV. We have Netflix too!" She says, trying to cheer me up.

Then Doctor Hannah whispers something to Mom, and with that she leaves.

Mom sits in a chair beside me. "Macbeth, were going to go into your very own room! Okay?" She asks me, trying to sound happy.

I nod, and try to get up. When I try to stand up, I feel my ankles not moving. There stuck to the bed. Mom unties the cord attaching the rope strapping my ankles to the bed.

"We needed this here for the test." She explains.

I get out of the bed slowly, and change into the hospital gown, then walk out of the office. I feel like i'm floating. Everything seems like a daze.

Mom guides me to a room a little bigger then my own room at home. Inside there is a TV, a bed, a small couch, a small kitchenette, and a couple of cupboards. There is a little bathroom attached to it, and beside that, is a walk-in closet. It's a very nice hospital room.

"This is where you'll be staying for a bit." Mom says, sitting down on the couch. I perch myself on the bed and lie down. Everything feels like a blur. A dream, that you'll wake up out of soon. But, you never do.

Mom gets up, "Someone's coming to talk to you, ease you into the situation." She says, checking out the room. "Just talk to them. They want to help you."

I nod, and look down on the bed. "Mom, can you get my book out of the car?" I ask her quietly.

"Of course. I'll be back in a couple of minuets, okay? Don't leave the room." She says.

I nod again, and lay down on the bed. I pick up my pile of clothes, and take my phone out of the pocket. I see that Sandy's texted me.

'Mack, your mom called our home and told us to come to the hospital. Is everything okay?' I look down on the phone screen to see 13 missed calls. All Sandy's. I decide not to text her back. Sandy will learn about the Cancer when she absolutely has to.

Mom comes back into the room a bit later with my book and a tray of food. She sits on the end of my bed, and hands me the book. "I called Sandy's mom, she's coming here, is that okay with you?" She asks me.

 Besides reading Bridge to Terabithia I've also started reading The Martian.  A movie was recently made about it, and I decided to check out the book. So far it's really good, I really enjoy the different point of views, and I like the characters. 

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Sandy runs in.

She runs up to me and hugs me so hard, i'm afraid I might suffocate.

"Macbeth! What's wrong! Your mom called my mom and told her to get to the hospital as fast as she could! That scared me half to death! Why didn't you text back! Whats wrong!" She says, not in a mean way. In a concerned way.

We sit down on the couch, and I tell Sandy everything. About my Anxiety. About my Cancer.

Put yourself in Sandy's situation. You make a best friend at school, who seems like a perfectly normal girl. You become close friends, and one day you get a call from her mom telling you to get to the hospital ASAP. When you get there you see your friend- your normal friend- in a hospital gown, looking worse then ever. She tells you that she had Social Anxiety Disorder for years, and now she has Lung Cancer. She is going to die at 14 years old. Imagine that.

Sandy is absolutely petrified. At first she thinks it's a joke, then she realizes that I'm dead serious.

"Mack..." She starts, but ends up not finishing the sentience.

Again, the overall seriousness of the situation hits me like a ton of bricks. But this time it seeps in. I'm going to die. I've always had a weak immune system. I'm going to die at 14 years old. 

Single tears roll down her cheeks, as she tries to distract herself from the situation, by looking around the room, but she breaks down in tears. 

I feel weird, comforting my friend, for something that's happening to me. 

Suddenly she stops crying, and looks up at me. "Have you started Bridge to Terabithia yet?"

I nod."It's good."

Sandy nods, then sits on the floor. "We'll have our first book club meeting right now."

I sit sown on the carpet across from her, and we talk about the book. The best parts. The worst parts. Our favorite characters. Our least favorite characters.

We decide that every second day, Sandy'll visit me and we will discuss the book. Once we finish this book, we will start a new book called "Hidden Figures".

Sandy and I go downstairs to the cafeteria of the hospital, and we order some Jell-O. Soon I notice that Sandy doesn't treat me like an injured animal after she's learnt about my sickness. She treats me like, me.

Too soon, Sandy has to leave. I tell her that I'll see her at school.

I know I never will.