Safe & Sound

Chapter 11

I wake up screaming. Doctor Hannah rushes into my room. The test isn't over. I've waken up in the middle of a test. But this time, it's not a test.

 It's a surgery.  

I close my eyes to avoid seeing anything bloody. I'm extremely squeamish. 

I try to get up, but I can feel that I'm strapped down to the bed. Doctor Hannah is trying to calm me down, yelling at the doctors, asking them why I'm awake. I keep my eyes shut. I hear more people rushing in. I don't want to open my eyes. 

All of a sudden I feel a pain. A pain so hard that I'm afraid it might kill me. It's coming from my chest. I can't bare it anymore.

I move my head up as far as I can and smash it back down on the hard surface to knock myself out.

I feel hot. I look around and I appear to be in my hospital room. I hear muffled screams, and I see a glow from under the door. I try to get up, but I'm strapped down to the bed. Just like in the surgery. I move up and down, trying to set myself free from the bed, like in Mockingjay Part 1, at the very end of the movie when Peeta's strapped down to the bed. That's how I feel. Trapped. It gets hotter. And smokier. I hear something crackling. Fire. The hospital's on fire and there's no way I can get out. I scream for someone, but no one responds. I jump up from the bed, but am restricted by the straps. The fire sneaks into my room like a robber into a bank. I scream for people to come, but no one does. I can feel my skin burning, and my lungs giving up. I'm going to die. 

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound" 

I wake up. I'm alone. There's no surgery going on. No doctors. Just me. Alone. 

I sit up, and feel my head that's been heavily bandaged. I lift my hospital gown up to see stitches going up my stomach. 

I get off of my bed and walk outside of the room. It's dark outside. Must be at least one in the morning. I walk around the top floor, then make my way to the top floor. I find the library, and sit down on one of the couches. I find a pen and paper, and start writing. Writing about my dreams. 

My girl. Stage 4. Miracle. Mom. Fire. Hospital. Gone.

I write those 9 letters down in rows on the page. By the time I stop there must be at least 1000 copy's of those 9 words on the page. I write them down on my hand once for good measure, then stop. 

I need to write this down so I can figure out what they mean. But not now. Now I'm too tired to do anything. But I'm far to scared to sleep. I sit up, and hug my knees. I rock myself back and forth. I try to think of what those dreams meant. First, with Mom and Doctor Hannah. Was I seriously seeing the past? Or was I just imagining this? I think of the next dream. Outside my room. Jennifer, Mom, nurses. Jennifer tells them that I'm already on stage 4 of my cancer. I need a miracle to survive. That might be completely true. Why else would I be having a surgery? Doctor Hannah said that the only time I'll need surgery is if I get onto stage 4, and they've found a solution. Now that I think about it, I feel stronger. My lungs don't feel as weak, like they might crumple up if you barely touch them. 

I slowly stand up and walk back to my hospital room. Am I cured? 

I get to my room and stop at the door. I can hear people in their. People talking. I slowly open the door to see Mom, Jennifer, Doctor Hannah and a Nurse standing in my room. They were waiting for me. I can tell.

"What is this?" I ask.

Mom's eyes are all puffy. She's been crying. Hard. Jennifer looks like she's been crying too. 

"Macbeth, we have some news." Doctor Hannah says. "And I'm sure you have lots of questions."

I nod.

Doctor Hannah walks up to Jennifer and whispers something to her. Jennifer then walks to my nightstand and retrieves a stack of pictures.

"Those. What are those" I ask Mom.

Jennifer sits me down on my bed, then sits beside me. "Mack, we needed to check on your lungs." Jennifer explains. "They were doing fine. They were getting better."

Doctor Hannah cuts her off. "We took an X-Ray of your lungs earlier." She says, hanging me a translucent sheet. The Doctor projects it onto a screen above my bed. "These were your lungs about a month ago when we first found this Cancer."

I look up at the projection. They look pretty normal. Except for the left side. On the very bottom there is a black hole-almost eating away at the lung. 

"This is a projection of a week ago." Doctor Hannah says, projecting a different X-Ray. The black thing is a lot bigger this time, almost taking up the whole left side.

"And this is today." Jennifer says gravely, slowly putting up another projection. I am horrified. My lungs in the picture are almost all eaten away by the black thing. They look shriveled up and dead.

Doctor Hannah shakes her head. "That isn't even the worst part. We are afraid that it spread throughout your body."

Mom makes a weird gawking sound. It's a mix of terror and disgust. I'm guessing no one told her about this part.

"We preformed the surgery to see what exactly was wrong. I never do that, but it was so hard to tell from the X-Rays. If the Cancer did spread, we would need to fix it as fast as we could."

Mom turns to Doctor Hannah. "So has it spread?"

The Doctor just barely nods her head. "I'm afraid it has."  

Mom this time, doesn't cry. She doesn't look sad at all. She looks mad. "It's your fault!" She bellows at Doctor Hannah. "You just let her dry up in here and die!"

"You have to calm down Miss." She says.

"NO!" Mom screams. "You let my girl stay here and DIE! You sick son of a bit-"

Jennifer gently shakes my arm, and leads me out of the room. "We'll let them fight it out."

I nod, and follow Jennifer down to the cafeteria. 

"I'm really sorry about all of this, Mack." Jennifer says as we reach a table. 

I nod.

"Why do you seem to have no opinion on this." She asks me.

I don't answer her. I don't even know the answer. This whole Cancer thing feels like an odd dream. 

"I had this too you know." Jennifer says. " I was diagnosed with Leukemia a couple days before I graduated University. I was sure it was the end for me. I lost all my hair, and even my closest friend left me. I was getting better, until one day it started to spread. I wouldn't accept that this was the end. I was like you. My parents were a mess. I had no friends. I was going to kill myself. I was prepared then to die. I wanted that." That's when a single tear falls down on her face. "Those were dark times. Time's that still haunt me. But, then I met someone. Someone who made me fight. Someone who made me want to continue living. They saved me. Do you know who that person was?"

I shake my head.

"That person was you."

I feel tears forming in my eyes. Did I save Jennifer's life?

"Really?" I ask her.

She nods. "I saw you. Such a strong girl. You were so determined to live. So determined to stay alive. But, where is that girl now? You used to be so set on living. On fighting this Cancer." Jennifer is now crying hard, but it doesn't affect her voice. "Where is the old Macbeth Choiselat?"

I begin to cry hard too, and soon were both crying- sobbing in the hospital cafeteria. Then Jennifer sits up straight and wipes her eyes. "Are you going to fight?"

I sit back up. "Till the very end."