Safe & Sound

Chapter 3

The warning bell rings. Class is about to start again. 

I rush back to the library and sign out the 3 books. 

"Hello miss. Your name?" Asks the Librarian.

"Macbeth Choiselat" I say quietly. 

She scans her computer, then finds my name. "Books please."

I hand her the books, and she scans them. "I really love this series." The Librarian says, half to herself. "Bring these back in about two weeks okay?"

I nod, then rush out of the library with my books in my bag. 

I run inside the math room to find Helena sitting in a huge group with about 7 other girls. Popular girls. I try to rush past her without Helena noticing. She turns to look at my. 

Oh no. She is going to call me over there. I'm going to have to talk to people. New people. Popular people. 

Then Helena turns back to her friends. 

What was that? Just an hour ago she wouldn't leave my side. But, maybe she just didn't want to be alone. Alone like how I am now. Maybe she thought that hanging out with a messed up girl like me was better then being alone. 

I find a seat at the back of the class room, and spend the whole class perfecting the 'Celtic Heart Knot'. After math, the knot is pretty much in my blood.

After math is science. I get there a couple of minuets early. I find a seat in the very corner and start reading. Getting lost in a book. Leaving this terrible world and transporting into a world of fiction. A world of happy endings. 

Science class starts late, since our teacher, Mr. O was late.

Just as people are about to walk out of the classroom and ditch, a tall, lean man walks into the room. 

"Good morning." He says. "Today I believe we have a new student."

I start to panic. I can't introduce myself again. Not after what happened before. I start tying knots in my rope. Tight. Loop and through. Under and over. Around and pull. Calm down. Loop and through. Under and over. Around and pull. 

Mr. O points to a girl sitting in the front of the room with Helena. A girl with heavy makeup and short shorts. Long wavy brunette hair, and a a smug smile. 

Elise. 

The girl that ruined my life. The girl that let everyone knew that I wasn't normal. That I will never be normal. 

"Hi!" She says, waving to the class. "My name is Elise Henderson, and something cool about me is that my father is the richest man in Western Canada!" 

I feel my blood boiling. I hate girl. I hate her with all of my life. I need to leave here. But, Elise cannot see me. If she does, that is a whole other problem. Hopefully science is the only class we share. Everything starts to blur. My breath shortens. I start tying knots in my rope. Loop and through. Under and over. Around and pull. I can feel my hands start to cut. Loop and through. Under and over. Around and pull. I see blood running onto the rope. How tight am I pulling onto this cord?

Suddenly the lunch bell rings. How long was I thinking for?

I look down at my hands to see my fingers smeared with dry blood. My hands are covered in scrapes, and rope burn. I shove them into my pocket and run out of the room. Far from these people. No way am I eating lunch in the cafeteria today.

I find a small corner near the Auditorium, where I decide to eat lunch. 

I open my bag to find my lunch. Half a peanut butter and jam sandwich, and a granola bar.

I eat my lunch while reading my book. Lunch is my favorite part of the day so far. 

"Hey, Macbeth, right?" Someone says, from behind me. 

I jump up, afraid of the new person.

"Sorry to scare you." He says. 

I look up at him. He has chocolate brown hair, and dark blue eyes. I recognize him from somewhere. Then it hits me. This was the boy who defended me in English.

He extends his hand "Owen. Owen Richards." 

Am I supposed to shake his hand? I am just about to when I look at the shape my hands are in. All bruised and bloody. Owen notices them to.

"What happened to your hands?" He asks, shocked.

I just look back down at my book. I really am not in the mood to talk right now. Even if he did save me from humiliation. But then, for some reason I start talking. "Rope. I was knotting my rope."

Owen sits down beside me. "What kind?"

I show him the rope.

"Not the rope." He says, laughing. "Anxiety. What kind of Anxiety do you have?"

I start to tremble. How does he know this? Why? Did Elise tell everyone? This is bad. Really bad. My heart starts pounding, and I need to back myself up against the wall so I don't collapse on the floor. 

"Calm down!" Owen says, alerted. "Don't worry no one told me."

I start to dial down a bit. "How do you know?" I ask him.

"I can tell. I have it too you know?" He says, " Social Anxiety Disorder. Had it since I was five."

I nod. He is the first person I have ever met that guessed that I had Anxiety. He is the only person that I've ever met that I can actually connect to. "You sure don't act like it." I say quietly.

"Yeah, well I've had lots of practice hiding it." Owen says. "You could use some help."

I look at him, angrily. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah. I'll tell you what I do." He stands back up, and gets paper and pencil out of his bag, and hands it to me. "Draw the place where you feel the safest."

I think. Where do I feel the safest? Definitely no where around people. Alone. I feel safe alone. I think of the forest and field outside of my house. I feel safe there. Alone. Just me and the animals. 

I start to draw the forest, then hand it back to Owen. "Field." I say, pointing to the drawing. "Near my house."

He nods. "Now close your eyes and imagine that you are in that field."

I close my eyes, and picture myself there. Alone. I have my books with me, and I am sitting on a blanket with some snacks. I hear the birds sing. The leafs rustle. It's peaceful. I feel safe.

"Mack, that's your Safe Place." Owen explains. "Every time you feel your Anxiety about to take over, imagine your self their." 

I nod, and imagine my self back there. My Safe Place. "Thank you." I say quietly.

"Anytime." He says, then Owen walks away. "See you around."