The Hardest YOU Hart!

XXVII CHAPTER: SECOND GLANCES AND STOLEN CHANCES

Some of my dad's clients and business partners were coming during the four-hour lunch we had at that place. Most of them know about my birthday so, they were congratulating me while they say hi to us. My dad was in his element, showing off his professional and successful kids to the rest of the community that day, introducing the Waltz to a whole new different type of people.

He introduced Charmont as Jay's girlfriend, Trevor as Gregg's boyfriend, and of course Nova as my girlfriend. It was sort of a funny moment for all of us, looking at everyone's expressions and reactions after the great news. My dad is really amusing and spontaneous when we are together.

Uncle Jülien was taking pictures of us after a very long time. That was a very remarkable moment in years and since my mom died we have not had a reunion, especially with Jay and Jülien out of the picture. It seems to be a wonderful change!

Nova is trying to get closer to me with the conversations, and in every single picture. I do not want to make her feel uncomfortable or worse. That is why I am not paying too much attention to it. My interventions are more general than specific and I am not giving anything away.

We even ate birthday cake and a few other desserts made and baked by one of my daddy's favorite chefs from the East Coast. It turned out well for everybody, after the small show I starred a couple of hours before. Now we are ready to leave the place.

My uncle is helping me with the roses, because the bouquet is huge. I am not mad anymore, so I can figure how beautiful and special the floral arrangement is. Those colors are stunning and they smell so damn good. My dad is right! She gave me this wonderful present and I barely thanked her. I am way better than this.

I took the rest of the afternoon to write a letter for her and tell her with every single word how much I love her and care for her, but making her understand that I cannot get involved with her once again until she realizes what she wants, what she needs and whom she truly loves.

"My dearest Nova:

I want you to know how grateful I am to have you in my life. You are a huge blessing and a brightening light in my way. Because without you, I would never discover who I really am. I must say when I met you, I met the real me as well.

You will never be a mistake or something bad that happened to me. You are far from a sad experience in my life, even I have cried out for you, for me, for us, especially because of my feelings towards you. I am not blaming you for what or how I feel, it is my entire responsibility to deal with my emotions and manage my feelings.

Maybe I was so focused on me that I even forgot to ask you how you were feeling or what were you feeling? Maybe the last few times we have been together were just the result of impulses, reactions, and the chemistry there is between us two, more than a real commitment with ourselves and our feelings.

I would not say I do not love you anymore, because I will be lying about that, and to be honest, I have never lied to you before and I will not going to start doing it, not to you nor myself either.

I wanted to write this letter for you, I would like to say for no other reason than I love you so, but I have two reasons;

Number one, your flowers were lovely. Since the first time you have been so considerate, full of details and sweet to me. I truly appreciate the way how you show me I am important to you.

I have no words to describe the sensations those things make me feel, the way you impact my life with your little gestures and how you behave with me since the very first time.

And second, as the matter of our relationship I cannot say this is going somewhere, because it is not. My position in the middle, because our situation is no other than the mistress or the other woman which is something that does not make me feel appreciated at all. And trust me, I have experienced the love triangle thing so many times, that I do not want to be the reason you end everything up with Jordan, if there is still a chance for you both to be together.

You are confused with your feelings and that confuses me as well. So, I rather give you space and time to figure everything out and once you have chosen where you stand, I would support your decision. In the meantime, I prefer us to be just friends and let things in the past, where they cannot get in between and start all over again. We still have hope, we both are complete and fine, we have not hurt each other yet and that is something.

I am asking you for an opportunity to be friends, to get to know each other better and stay in each other's lives. I do not want to lose you or pretend I do not like you because I do, very much. You are an incredible girl and a wonderful person. Just because we did not work out as something else, that does not mean we cannot work as anything.

Let me know what you think.

Forever & Always yours truly,

Olie"

I left the letter under her room's door and walked away. It is late in night and I must sleep a little, even when I really do not know how she is going to respond to my request. I am in the kitchen, preparing myself a cup of hot no-sugar mint tea to rest well during the night.

It is a beautiful view from the kitchen. The moon is big and round, shining bright. The stars do not seem too high. I am getting lost in the dark sky. In the middle of my meditation I remember my mom told me once some words from Paulo Coelho from his novel BRIDA: "LOVE is joy! Don not let others try to convince you there is suffering in it."

But most of times it is not other people who convince you, it is yourself the responsible for taking suffering as part of your relationship, and even worse when the other person is the one who makes you suffer.

I WENT TO BED AFTER MIDNIGHT. The only thing I need is to relax a bit and clear my head to be able to sleep well. Nothing else matters right now. That is exactly what I love the most about nights, sleeping and forgetting about everything else.