"Please, I'm sorry"

Alcohol & Heartbreak

"Trishhhh why does pizza taste better when it's cold" Nele said grabbing a slice of pizza.
"I don't know but we have three bottles left. Hurry up eating so we can have some fun" I moaned "I won't be a minute I'm changing into something more comfortable"
"Okay" Nele grumbled whilst eating the pizza.
I ran upstairs, put a pair of shorts on and a hoodie then ran back down sliding into the kitchen.

Nele made us drinks as I put some music on for us to dance to. Just as I pressed shuffle 'Shut up and Dance' came on and with that memories started to come back. I sat down on the couch and Nele turned the music off and joined me.
"Is it the music?" She asked.
I nodded.
"It just brings back some memories" I replied.
"Wanna talk about them?" She asked again.
"No. Get the shot glasses and whatever alcohol you want. I really wanna forget about him" I said.

***SKIP A COUPLE OF HOURS***

"Oh my goshhh. He better pick up now!" I moaned to Nele whilst trying to FaceTime Andy.
"Trish, have some water. Let's sober you up a bit. Stop calling Andy" Nele asked patiently.
"Nope. Nope and nope! I wanna talk to Andyyyy!" I begged.
"Finally. You answerrrr" I shrieked.
"You called me twice T" he giggled.
"Is Rye there?" I slurred.
"No. I told him to leave the room. Are you drunk Trish?" He asked.
"Nooooope. What makes you think that?"I questioned.
"You're slurring your words. Where are you?" He asked.
"I'm at Nele's. Why?" I answered.
"Nothing. Are you actually drunk or are you just pretending?" Andy questioned.
"I'm a bit tipsy but whatever. Ya know how it is. Get drunk and forget right?" You said seriously.
"Don't get drunk Trish. Alcohol won't make you feel any better" Andy said sweetly.
You heard a door open from Andy's side of the call.
"Ya know what Andy? I don't care if Rye's walked in or not, right, cause he can hear this. I loved him. I really did. He was my everything. I could've hooked up with my ex many times when I was with Rye but I didn't because I loved him. No matter how many times I was alone at Nele's . I didn't once think about doing that. Rye knows my ex had been texting me. And all the reply's to the texts have always been what Rye has said because I didn't want to talk to my ex. I was done with him. All I wanted was Rye." I stopped for a second to have a drink "Every time I said I love you to him I meant it. There wasn't a time when I said I love you to Rye that I didn't mean it. And you're right. This alcohol won't make me any better but it will make me numb. I don't wanna feel the pain of it. Andy it hurts. It all hurts and I don't wanna feel it. It's just too much pain"
I started to cry again. Nele came over and hugged me.
"Right, I'm coming over and staying the night. Is that okay Nele?" Andy asked her.
"Yeah. I think she needs as much support as possible. She's a literal mess. I've never seen her this way before" Nele confirmed.
"I won't be long. I'll get Blair to drop me off. I'll see you when I get there." He said hanging up.

Nele brought me into the living room and sat me down on the couch. I really am a mess.

***ANDY'S POV***

I hung up the phone and started shoving things into my bag. Rye looked at me some what shocked.
"I...I did that to her" he said, shocked filled his words.
"Yes you did Rye. What did you expect, you argue, she says it's over and then y'all make up. You cheated on her Rye. And with your ex as well. Trish compared to over girls is just hard. She's one of a kind. She was the best thing that has ever happened to you." I ranted.

The fact that he could do that to her is just shocking. I remember before she got with Rye the whole band had a crush on her. Rye was lucky enough to get her.

"Can I go with you? I need to sort this out. I've made this mess and I need to clean it up" Rye asked.
"No. You're staying here." I stood at the door.
"Why?" He questioned "This is my mess. I don't need you cleaning up after me"
"Yes this is your mess Rye but you'll just make things worse. She doesn't want to talk to you. I'll take one of the other boys with me" I put my foot down and signalled him to get out of my room.
"Well give her this" Rye said rushing into his room and grabbing something.
I ran down the stairs and asked Blair if he would take me to Nele's. Brooklyn decided to come with me.
As Brooklyn ran up the stairs to his room to grab a bag, Rye came down with a hoodie.

"What's that for?" I asked.
"It's for T. Give it to her. Having this hoodie won't be the same. I don't want it if I can't have her" he spoke silently.
"I'll try and give it to her but it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't want it" I said hoping he would realise that she doesn't want constant reminders of him.
"Brooklyn hurry up or else I'll go without you" I called.

***SKIP TO NELE'S HOUSE***

I knocked on the door and then walked in, Brooklyn following.

"We're in here" Nele called.
I walked into the living room and there was Trish. I have never seen her like this. She was an actual mess. She sat there in one of Rye's hoodies on and tears staining her face along with mascara.

***BACK TO TRISH'S POV***

I saw Andy and Brooklyn walk into the living room. Their figures were a bit blurry from all the tears. For some strange reason I was happy to see them but even they reminded me of Rye.
Brooklyn walked over and hugged me. He said nothing. He just hugged me. And yet again I cried into his arms. I tried to stop crying so then I could talk but it just seemed like a challenge. I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes with my sleeve and tried to talk.
"W..why are you here?" I asked.
"Because you looked like you needed us" Andy said.
"B..but I don't so you can go" I said with a bit of anger.
"Yes you do, T. And no we're staying. I'm not leaving you like this. You're a mess" Brooklyn smiled.
"We love you too much to leave you like this" Nele added.
"O..Only if Rye did" I said with a few tears falling down my face.
"Well forget about him. You're so beautiful Trish. You will find someone else that loves you a lot. A lot, a lot" Brooklyn said.
"I absolutely love you guys" I smiled through the tears.

***SKIP FORWARD A FEW HOURS***

It was now 2:30 am. I had stopped crying but kept on drinking when they weren't looking.
I didn't want to feel the pain of this heartbreak it was all too much. Some people say heartbreak doesn't hurt. It does! We had a load of memories. I loved them. I don't wish to forget the times we shared together but I definitely don't want to remember them if they just cause my heart to feel heavy and dark.

These feelings consumed me. I drank once more. Taking a big mouthful of vodka, I flinched and swallowed.
"What are you doing T" I heard Brooklyn say from behind me.
"What does it look like" I said turning around and waving the bottle at him.
"You need to stop drinking. I thought you went upstairs to sleep not drink" he said walking over to me.
"Really?! Brooklyn this all hurts. I can't close my eyes without seeing him. I really thought I knew him. I trusted him. I thought he was different. But I guess not. They're all just the same" I said with a tear falling down my face.
Brooklyn came closer. He put his hand on my cheek and wiped the tear away with his thumb.
"You know they aren't all the same, Trish. They're all different. I'm different" he whispered into my ear.
"Prove it" I said moving my lips closer to his.

Is this how I'm supposed to deal with this heartbreak?