"Please, I'm sorry"

Growing Up

**Trish's POV**

So I'm meeting up with my mum. It's my first time seeing her in 15 years. Wow.

Jorja wanted to come with me but I insisted it was Rye.
"Baby, you ready?" Rye shouted from downstairs.
"Yes baby. Let me grab my shoes" I shouted back, grabbing my shoes and running downstairs.
"Heyyy. What did we say about that" Rye said, taking me in his arms.

"I know. Sorry, I'm a bit excited" I said playing with hands.
"A bit?" Rye asked looking a bit confused.
"Yes a bit. I'm more scared. What's she gonna say? What's she gonna think? Is she gonna explain why she left?" I replied getting anxious.
"But look who's gonna be next to you. Me. Your amazing boyfriend. Probably looking at cribs on Argus or some baby website but you know, if you feel it's going bad just hold my hand tighter. Now are you ready to go?" he said smiling.
"Yes" I said giving him a quick peck on the lips.

And so, it begins. The journey to the coffee shop to see my mum. Can I call her that or should it be Jenna, her proper name.
"Mum" I said out loud. It felt weird saying it.
"Jenna" I said after, Rye not taking notice to what I'm doing.

"Hi mum. It's nice to see you. This is my boyfriend Rye" I said, cringing to myself.
"Hi Jenna. It's nice to see you. This is my boyfriend Rye" I said after feeling even more weird.

"Trish, what are you doing?" Rye asked glancing at me, wanting to laugh.
"Figuring out what I should say to her, Jenna, my mum" I said looking in the mirror.
"Say whatever feels natural" He said.
"Oh so I should say 'Hi mum. How are ya. So where have you been these past 15 years when I've needed you! How's life been not having to raise your own daughter? How could you do that to me! To dad! To us all! I'm pregnant by the way. Yeah, but the difference here is that when she or he turns 5 I'm not gonna walk out of their lives and act like they don't exist. I'm not gonna throw this all on my amazing boyfriend!" I said getting angrier as I kept speaking, quickly forgetting I was in the car with Rye and not face to face with my mum.

Rye pulled over in a safe place and turned to me. Holding my hand he smiled and just relaxed.
"Calm yourself baby. You can't exactly say that. Well you can but let's not. Hopefully we'll be there first so she has to start of the conversation. And like I said in the house, I'll be right next to you. So stop stressing yourself. It'll be just fine" He said kissing my lips lightly then positioning himself properly in his seat.
"Ughhh I love you" I said leaning into his face and licking his cheek.
"Eww I love you too ya big weirdo" He said before setting off.

We arrived at the coffee shop and we were first, thank god. Rye went and ordered us both a tea each as I sat waiting, not so patiently, for my mum.

"Rye what if she doesn't turn up" I said tapping my foot.
"Stop worrying Trish. She will come, I promise" He said grabbing my hand.

We were sat waiting for 10 minutes before she arrived.
"Hi Trish" She said with a smile.
"Hi Jenna" I said, the nerves easing.
She sat and we talked a bit. I told her about my youtube and how things are at the moment. She seemed proud. But I don't know if that was of me or my dad.

"Jen- Mum, can I ask a question?" I said, drinking the last of my tea.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Why did you leave?" I asked.

She looked down. Like she was dreading this question.
"Ermm, I left because I couldn't cope. I was only young and I had no help. My mum found me a disgrace to the family and refused to help" she said nervous.
"But you had dad and his family" I said reaching for Rye's hand.
"I know but I felt bad asking for help" she said, bouncing her knee up and down.

"Why? They always-.." I said before being interrupted.
"Mum? What are you doing here? Who's this?" this girl said, sitting next to her. She looked my age.
"How old are you?" I asked.
"19" she replied.