"Please, I'm sorry"

Truthful Answers

"Why did you propose to me?"
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**TRISH'S POV**

I looked him in the eyes and asked again.
"Why did you propose to me?"

He said nothing. Typical. I don't wanna sound mean or tight towards Alex or Mikey but today was supposed to be mine and Rye's day. Two weeks before we broke up and Rye cheated, he proposed to me. He got down on one knee under the starts and said those four words. We had a date in mind and that date was gonna he today so we had a lot of time to plan. I'm happy for Alex but just the thought of everything, gets too much. I'm never gonna forget what Rye did. And that hurts me the most.

"I don't wanna repeat myself Ryan" I cried.
"Because I loved you. And I still do. And I'm sorry about everything" he said.
"Ryan you fucking broke me! You propose to me, we start planning things. We arranged today to be the day and then you cheat on me!" I screamed.
"Trish, I'm sorry! How many times do we have to repeat this!" Rye shouted back.
"Until you give me a better apology than 'I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I love you'. I have so many questions still left unanswered. Questions that I bully myself with because I never feel good enough. Remember those nights where we'd sit and plan our futures. I literally sat and tried to drink all those thoughts away. Fuck! You actually fucked me up Ryan! So sorry for wanting to bring this up!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face.

I felt bad about constantly bringing this up but I have to. I haven't been able to get my feelings across and it's annoying. I had lots of questions about it and all of them needed answers.

"Okay well I'll answer them. All of them. And all the answers will be honest. I'll be truthful" he said, sitting down on the floor. His back against the wall.

"Okay, why did you do it? What was going through your mind when you did it, before you did it and after you did it? Was you thinking of me? Was I even in a single thought you made that night?" I said, sitting across from him.

And so it began. The moment where Ryan Leonard Beaumont finally told me the truth. Did it hurt? Yes. Did it help? Yes. Did it make me feel better? Slightly. I had a couple of questions left, even after we sat and talked for over an hour.

My eyes were red from the tears. Mascara stained my face. My thoughts slightly clear. The given reasons, the given truth, the given honesty, it all helped. But I still questioned why I wasn't good enough. Why wasn't I? My heart breaks asking that question to myself but it was one that I needed answers to.

"I have a final question. What was so terribly wrong with me that you had to cheat?" I asked.
"Nothing was wrong with you. You are perfect. You're my queen ,T. It's not what's wrong with you. It's what's wrong with me. I had everything anyone could ever what want and I threw that all away. I don't know what I was thinking but whatever it was it was fucked up and I hate myself for it" he cried "can I ask you some questions?"
"Yeah" I answered.

"Why was you drinking?" He asked.
"I didn't know how to cope with how broken I felt. I fucking hated myself and I didn't want to go back to old ways after I worked so hard to stop. I just downed any alcohol I could find and started crying. I'm pretty sure Brooklyn's jumper was covered in my tears and mascara. I tried to forget you and any memories we had but Hennessy is just not my friend. I woke up and thought about you and started drinking again" I wiped away any tears that fell.

"Why Brooklyn?" He said.
"Because he was there. He made me feel better. He helped me forget about us. Maybe temporarily but I forgot and that helped. He made the hurt go away. He showed me love. And it's love I needed not sympathy. He felt like the right answer so I chose him. Things might not have been the best but he helped me and that's what matters" I said standing up and going to the bathroom.

"You feel any better now?" Rye asked standing behind me.
"Yes" I said looking into the mirror.
"That mean I have a chance again?" He said, going to kiss my neck.
"No"
"Why?"
"I want my love back. Fuck it I want my trust back. You made it harder to love and even harder to trust. Why have a round 2 if you didn't enjoy round 1, Rye?"
"Maybe because in round 2 you can try and do it right and not make the mistakes you made in round 1?"
"But what if you aren't ready for round 2?"
"I guess I'll just have to wait then" he said smiling.

**ALEX'S POV**

I left Trish at the hotel. I understand how she must be feeling. Hopefully she comes later. I need her here.

"My baby girl is all grown up" my dad said as I sat next to him.
"Thanks dad" I smiled.
"No I mean it. It feels like yesterday I was in that room with your mum whilst she was giving birth to you and now I'm here giving my daughter away to 'el chico tatuado' I love you Alexis. You've grown into a strong independent woman. Just like your mother" he started to tear up.

"Okay, I think that the lucky man should make a speech" David said, tapping Mikey's back for him to get up.
"Okay, so how do I start this? I didn't plan this so I'm just gonna say the honest truth. Thank you Mr López for your wonderful daughter. I don't know what I would do with out her. She makes my life better. It's hard to think of what it would be like without her and I definitely don't want to even try think about it. She's always gonna have my heart. No matter how many obstacles are in the way, we'll tackle them together. No matter how many arguments we have, we'll stay strong. No matter what, I'll fight for you" Mikey said.

I started to cry. I didn't know what to say. I am so lucky to have him. Today I didn't marry just my boyfriend, I married my best friend.

Some of the bridesmaids said their speeches and then the party began. The party had been going on for half an hour before Trish ran in.

"I'm so happy you came!" I said hugging her.
"Well no matter my problems, I'm not gonna miss your wedding party" she smiled "what did I miss?"
"Well you missed Mikey's speech. He thanked my dad for having me" I said laughing a little.
"Really?" She said laughing as well.
"Yep. Anyways, how did things go with Rye?" I asked as the curiosity ate at me.

***TRISH'S POV***

"It was okay" I lied. I wasn't gonna tell her exactly what happened. I would usually but not this time.
"It was okay, in a bad way? Or it was okay, in a good way" she asked.
"Meh both. Come on let's dance" I said dragging her up on to the dance floor.
"Ugh okay" Alex laughed and started dancing with me.

I am happy for Alex. Extremely happy. She's gonna be a mum soon as well. I'm so glad that today went well. I kinda can't wait till it's over but I am so glad it went great.

**couple of hours later**

After a while of talking to Mrs Beaumont and Rye's brother Robbie, I walked over to the bar.

"Come here" Harvey mouthed from across the bar.
"And what do you want Mr Cantwell?" I said, slightly sexually as I saw Brooklyn watching from across the room.
"A bit of company" he laughed "who did you come with? 'Cause by the looks of it everyone has come with someone but me"
"Well technically Sammie and Shaun" I said ordering me and Harvey a shot each.
"Really? Nice" he laughed and took his shot.
"Very. My original 'date' was Theo but he's spending time with his daughter" I said taking mine.
"Wanna take this back to the hotel?" He said grabbing the bottle he just paid for and shaking it.
"Yeah, why not" I shrugged and started to follow him out.

We laughed and stumbled all the way back to the hotel. Harvey slipped a couple of times but it was too funny to ask if he was okay.

"Okay so tell me a secret?" He said as I sat on the bed.
"What do you wanna know?" I asked smiling.
"Whose a better kisser? Me, Brook or Rye?" He ran his hand through his hair and bit his lip.
"I don't know. Are you a good kisser?" I said biting my lip, looking him straight in the eyes.
"Your gonna have to find out" he teased.
"Okay" I said leaning forward on the bed and kissing him.

Maybe I didn't want a round two with neither Brook or Rye. But maybe I wanted to try something else. A trial round with Harvey, maybe?