FEAR . ethan dolan

four.

I felt scared to say no. I know Grayson was right there and if anyone would be able to tell Ethan no it would be his brother. There's no doubt about that. I just wanted to talk I guess? It scared me knowing he could do anything to me but with him being calm around me, occasionally, I'd gotten more, I don't know, 'trusting' of him. 

I guess you couldn't call it trust. I could never trust him. But if he wants to talk, I'm up for it. 

"I'll talk. And Grayson, I'll be fine." I say, patting his shoulder as I walk off with Ethan. 

I knew I shouldn't talk to him, but he seemed like he genuinely cared to talk to me at the time. 

You know that's a lie, Anabelle. Get over yourself.

"Ana, I'm sorry." Ethan starts off. You can tell he's drunk just by the look in his eyes. His fucked up hair and sweaty body from being inside with so many people, including girls trying to pounce on him. 

"Look, I don't need an apology. You're going to go right back to doing the same thing's you did to me tomorrow. It's okay though. I don't care anymore." I say as bluntly as possible, letting the words just slip out of my mouth. 

I knew he was drunk, so it was highly unlikely that he would remember any of this by tomorrow morning. I needed to tell him that, so he knew that what he was doing didn't phase me anymore. 

But it does, Anabelle? What do you mean? 

"I really am sorry, Anabelle. I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I know you probably shouldn't accept my shitty apology because of everything I've done to you, but I just want you to know how sorry I truly am. I don't know what goes through my head to think that it's okay to hurt a girl, especially you. You've been my neighbor for so long and I've never actually gotten to know you. And if Grayson's telling the truth, you aren't that bad of a person. I'm the bad one, and that should have gotten through to my head a lot quicker." Ethan ends his rant to me and proceeds to just walk away. 

He does that a lot. He just walks away. I don't know why. I'm normally glad he walks away, but this time I felt some kind difference in my mood. I wasn't mad or sad, better yet, I was confused. I was confused about so many things. 

Like, why did he just apologize? It was out of nowhere, too. And why did he just leave me standing after all of that? Is it because he didn't actually mean it? Or was he running late to some fuck appointment with Amanda he had? 

I don't know. But I'll never know, so who cares? 

You do, sweetheart. 

- 

The party starts to, let's say, get wild inside. According to Parker, someone's swinging on the chandelier. I know parties aren't really my thing, but this is something I need to see. 

I head inside, squeezing around different bodies and eventually make my way to where Parker is standing, hip to hip by Grayson. 

"Anabelle, do you see this? This is crazy!" Grayson yells over the loud music, pointing up at the girl who was swinging around the chandelier. 

"I do see it. How is she not dead yet?" I yell, laughing a bit at the stupidity that some of these kids have. 

To think these are the kids I go to school with. I've known these people my whole life almost and to think we're all just hanging out at a party like this. It's mind-blowing to me. Most people wouldn't really care, but this is new to me.  A party isn't my normal like most people's.  

"I'm going to be honest, I can't really answer that question for you." Grayson laughs and starts to walk away with some girl who pulled him away to go dance. 

"Uh, Anabelle? What happened to the "stay away from that kid" talk we had the other day?" Parker asks, referring to Grayson

"That was his twin, Parker. He's the nice one. It's okay." I say, smiling towards her so she knows I'm alright. 

"Okay, just making sure." 

- 

The party comes to an end and people start filing out of the now extremely messy house. Parker and I end up being one of the last few to leave as I didn't want to have a panic attack while there were so many people around us all piling out at once. 

I, of course, had to drive home, but because Grayson and Ethan both got drunk, they asked if they could get a ride home from me. 

Well, Grayson asked. And because Grayson is a nice guy, I'll accept his brother. Just this once. 

We finally arrived home and Grayson helped Ethan out of the car and into their house. 

Parker decided she was just going to stay the night at my place as she didn't really want to go home at this point, and my dad wouldn't really mind. 

"I saw you talking to Ethan earlier. What was that about?"

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guys hey hi sorry this chapter is getting update really late, I had a field trip at school today so I couldn't write during my study period. also I apologize for chapters slowly getting smaller but I'm keeping them between 800-1500 for the time being:) Thank ya! please vote, comment, and share:)