5 days of Torture

Prologue

"Kelsie?" I called from inside my bathroom. Alam kong nasa loob siya ng kwarto ko. I hear her humming that annoying song that only she and her boyfriend loves.

"Yes Sissy~?" kinanta niya yung pangalan ko sa tono ng kantang yun kaya mas lalo nabadtrip.

I sighed. "How could this day get even wors?" bulong ko sa sarili ko and then bumuntong hininga ulit. "Pupunta ako kay mom. Wanna come?" I asked Kelsie.

She didn't answer. Pero binilisan ko yung pagbibihis ko nung narinig kong may bumagsak.

I opened the door pero mukha namang malinis yung kwarto kaya nagtaka ako.

"What's that?" Tanong ko habang tinutuyo ko yung buhok ko with the towel.

"Anong what?" Inosente niyang tanong.

"Hindi mo ba narinig? Parang may nahulog na ewan. Akala ko dito."

"Dad's packing up. Sabi niya sabihin ko sayo na you should too. Everyone's packing up. Baka may nalaglag na box sa kabilang kwarto, at yun yung narinig mo." She said as she walk across my room to my closet.

"Are we leaving?"

"Yep." sagot niya habang may hinahanap siya sa pinakailalim na drawer ng closet ko. Naubo siya right after she opened it dahil sa alikabok. Matagal na rin since the last time I opened that.

"Halatang nakamove on ka na." She said and then giggled.

"Shut up." Ayoko talagang pinapaalala sakin yung time na nangyari yung first heart break ko. Pero kung tatanungin ako, hindi pa ko nagkakaron ng boyfriend. So yung mga nakakaalam bna nagkaroon na ako ng first heart break are thinking na I chased a guy who doesn't like me. Pero no.

"We're going back to the mansion by the way. And sabi ni Amanda, they're still living in the same house. As well as he. Are you ready to meet him? Again?"

Is she asking me if I'm ready? Eh for sure ang pagbyahe namin is either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. That's how dad is. Ganun siya kaatat. But the point is, hindi ko alam kung kaya ko na siyang harapin. Hindi ko alam, baka ngayon okay na ako pero, baka kasi pag nakita ko siya ulit manumbalik lahat.  

"Of course. 2 years na ang nakalipas. Plus, he's just a boy." I acted cool.

"Good. I don't want to hear sobbing in that mansion again just like what happened nung time na--"

"Shut up. Get out of my room and shut up."

"Oh come on. I'm not done with this box yet." She stood up and carried my wooden box na full of letters I wrote for him. "I always wonder what's inside this."

Mabilis pa sa alas kwatro kong tinakbo ang chismosa kong ate. Then I snatched my wooden box from her.

Hindi ko lang alam kung ano yung kinakatakot ko. I mean, may padlock siya actually and yung susi walang kaduplicate. That key's hidden inside that cute picture of a panda hung on my wall. No one will find it there.

That key and padlock was given to me by my mom before she died. It's heart shaped, beige with a shade of hazelnut brown border. Yung susi naman, it's like what you see in the movies. Di lang siya yung key na parang sa modern padlock. My mom's the best. She's so cool.

"Yan yung padlock na binigay ni Mom right?" Tanong niya.

Tango lang ang sinagot ko sa kanya. Nawalan ako ng gana chumika. Nung nalaman ko na babalik na kami ng mansion mas lalo akong nabadtrip. Hayyy... 

Pinalayas ko na siya ng kwarto ko. I should not have time to waste. I'm half nervous half excited.

Pumasok si Daddy sa loob ng room ko right before I finish packing up my pictures na naka frame na nakasabit sa pader.

"Excited ka na?" tanong niya.

"Yea?" walang gana kong sagot.

"Dapat excited ka. Magbabakasyon tayo o." napairap naman ako.

"Come on Dad, di mo naman ako maloloko e."

"What are you talking about Honey?"

"Hindi to bakasyon, alam kong ibabalik mo na kami sa mansion kasi alam ko naman na ayaw mo na samin noon palang. And, I'm 20 now. Kaya ibabalik mo na ako dun para ako na ang mag handle ng farm na inatas sayo ni Lolo." 

"Katie, what are you thinking? Hindi ko kayo mahal? Anak hindi ako ganun. Mahal na mahal ko kayo. Oo, inaamin ko hindi ito bakasyon. Hindi ko kayo kayang palakihin na kagaya ng pagpapalaki sa inyo sa mansion. Pero that doesn't mean na wala na akong pake sa inyo. Can't you see that I'm trying to be a dad? Kahit hindi na good dad. Dad nalang. I know I lack the requirements to be the dad you deserve, pero always remember that I love you. Kayo ng mga kapatid mo."

Hindi ako nagsalita for a bit. Hindi ako nagsalita until he went out. By the time he closed the door my tears raced down my face. Umupo ako sa higaan ko, napatingin naman ako dun. Narealize ko na hindi ko pa naiimpake yung bedsheet ko.

Hindi ko muna siya inimpake, umiiyak pa ako eh. Mamaya na.

Naalala ko naman yung lalakeng dumurog sa puso ko.

Why can't I move on from you? Ang hirap mag move on kahit di mo naman ako niloko. Kahit di naman talaga naging tayo. Ang hirap! Ang hirap!!!

I stared at the ceiling as I reminisce the time when I was just about to meet him.

Laguna, Philippines. 2007

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Hope you like it!!!!

next update:

05.15.18