VIRIDITY • jb

twenty seven.

          It's only four days left till Christmas.

          Justin and I doesn't have much to do outside their house since it was snowing crazy outside. We visited some of the places here like the theatre and I like the fact that it was just a simple and low key little town.

          I've been meaning to tell Justin that I'm ready more than anything and we should not wait up till Christmas, but it seemed like we switched places. He's the one who's unready now. I'm at least eighty percent sure he is.

          I won't say that just because I assume he is but you can tell it by his ways to give us do something just to prevent us from seeing his friends and that Wendy girl. He hasn't told me a single bit about her and only talked about his childhood and teenage days in his hometown.

          So from yesterday, I'm trying to let him feel that he should start talking to me about what the real reason of our visit is because we're running out of time. We are both festive and we wouldn't want us to celebrate Christmas with a huge trouble.

          “Uh Liv can we talk for a second please?”

          I wonder if it is that talk now.

          “Let me just get us some hot chocolate,” I replied, pouring our mugs with his mom's hot chocolate. She figured we could drink some before sleeping.

          “Yeah, thanks. I'll be waiting in my room.”

          This is it. Maybe he felt what I was trying to say. There's no reason for me to be nervous too, but I'm starting to feel my heart race as well.

          Making sure I didn't fill the mugs too much, I went up the stairs tried to make my breathing normal. I can do this. Justin can do this. We can do this.

          Once I was in front of his door, I shouted a bit. “Can you open the door for me please?”

          He sent me a nervous smile after opening the door slowly. I can't see him like that so I turned around to put our mugs on his nightstand and felt his arms around my waist as well as his chin on my shoulder.

          “Justin...”

          “I'm scared.”

          I swear I felt my heart clench at his words. The pit of my stomach hurt just by hearing him vulnerable.  My hands found his and clutched it tightly. “I am too, but we have to do this.”

          Justin pulls away all of a sudden. “No we don't have to do this. Maybe we should just go back to New York.”

          I reached up to his shoulders to make him stay put. “No, where is this coming from Justin? You are the one who brought us here!”

          “I know and I also just knew this was a bad idea, we should stop going further.”

          “Are you not telling me something? Something definitely urged you to say those. You were fine just a while ago.”

          He sits down on his bed, covering his face on his hands. “Wendy called me.”

          “What did she say?”