VIRIDITY • jb

forty two.

Wendy...

Ah, she's the nearest one to go to when life gets hard. Well, life isn't the only thing that gets hard and she's still there. Even though she's one of the most terrible people I've known, she knows exactly what to do to help me. She made me forget. Sex, drugs, and crime. It made me feel so good, high as the clouds when we trespass a property to fûck there. We were the hottest "couple" in high school. I stuck up with her because she made me feel alright that I'm a terrible person as well. Wendy reminds me that I'm not alone. 

Although I'm not much of a help to her. She's in love with some guy... for years. She always talks about him after sex. One night in the middle of doing me, she just cried. It was weird, being hard in her fist then she bawls her eyes out while kneeling in front of me. That shît was embarrassing but I noticed her being different that night in the first place. I took it as an opportunity to give back to her kindness to me.

Turns out lover boy asked out a nerd to prom. I laughed so hard, which made her laugh too. I joked about him finding what he deserves, and that Wendy needs to find someone her level. She giggles and I let her sleep in my arms. I pretended to doze off and found her texting that guy to meet her tomorrow.

Next morning, I woke up with a usual wood but Wendy's already hopping on it. Me, as a hormonal guy, found it hot that she's using me as her fluffer before she meets lover boy. That was the best two round morning sex I've had.

And the next thing I know is Bea and Mia's existence.

I loved these girls more than everyone. I didn't even think twice and supported Wendy with everything. She told me she loves me, but I don't think I do. Little did I know, she didn't too. I only see her as a partner and not a lover. I tried so hard to change that and when I couldn't, I hated myself and left Canada. Which leads me to my Liv...

"No, Wendy. What the fûck?" I laugh, making her cry more. "This isn't funny."

"I lied Justin okay? About everything."

I stand up, throwing my hands harshly to my sides. "We did it that morning, Wendy. I remember—"

I sound like a fûcking crazy man.

"Landon and I did it too, that night. Remember that I disappeared for a week after that morning?"

She did in fact went MIA after that. Before, I didn't care and knew that she's screwing up someone but now I do. I love Bea and Mia. They can't be not mine. They're​ mine. My little girls.

"That fûcking nerd? You expect me to believe that?" I chuckle. "I know you're seeing him now Wendy. You can't just say that the girls aren't mine just because you guys wanted to settle down."

"I'm not saying this because we are settling down! Justin I'm tired and sick of lying to you and you family. Even Olivia. I don't have enough reason for you to forgive me but I'm so sorry."

I shake my head, feeling Sophia's hand on both of my shoulders. "You have proof, Wendy?"

Wendy's quivering hands felt her pocket to pull out a folded paper. She hands it to me and I unfold it, seeing my daughters' names and Landon's. 99.5%.

"Do you really expect me to believe a piece of creased paper from your pocket? I'm not dumb, Wendy. I will not believe any of this until I do the test myself," a tear have left my eye, and then followed by another. "How... how could you do this to the girls? Now I... I fûcking... I have to get tested to prove they're mine... I can't believe I'm doing this to them."

"I'm so sorry Justin," her eyes are still glassy and almost like a faucet you didn't turn enough to close as little drops continues to flow down.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything other than making me get tested with Bea and Mia. This isn't finished."

I can't move. I stared at my hands and sat down Sophia's bed, feeling their bodies do something in front of me then the door shutting gently. My heart suddenly feels so heavy that I want to throw it up, but I heaved a sob instead.

Something cold touches my clenched fists, caressing it like they were the most fragile things in the world. My voice cracked into a whisper. "Liv... I thought you guys left."

"They went to Wendy's room. Soph's got it all handled. I'm here, Justin. If you want me to. Just tell me if—"

My eyes found her weak ones, trying so hard to be tough. "Are you scared of me, Liv?"

Her hands wrapped completely around mine even if hers were nothing compared to mine. "I never was scared of you."

I laugh, truthfully. She was not scared of me that way, thank God. "Your hands are cold."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't."

"Oh I'm—" she stops herself, then clearing her throat. "—gonna shut up."

I press my lips together before they could visibly wobble, another hot tear wets my cheek. "Can... Can you give me a hug? Please Liv?"

She gently sit down beside me and enveloped me in her arms, guiding my head to her shoulder. Her hands travelled from there to my back, soothing me as if it was the reason for her existence.

A sob escaped my mouth again, tightening Liv's embrace around me. "I-I can't believe everything, Liv. I don't believe this. I don't. I can't."

"It's okay, honey. We will help you figure it out. You did well handling this, Justin. You really did."

"My girls... I'm sorry I have to... d-do this to them."

"It's understandable, Justin. They're smart girls. You guys will be fine."

I sniff. "I'm sorry I'm messing up your shirt."

"You can wash it later," she laughs a little, massaging my head as her other hand's on my back.

"Thanks for letting me— this. It just hurts," my voice breaks again.

"No problem, Justin. You can count on me."

I wish this is a part of a messy dream. If it isn't, I wish I still have two amazing girls. Because if anything of this is true, I might say Wendy is more terrible than I am.

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leap year update!!!!

tomorrow's justin's birthday 💜 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. BIEBER 😜