VIRIDITY • jb

forty three.

Justin is sleeping in Sophia's room, on the floor.

Door's unlocked. Everytime we knock and let ourselves in, his back is facing us all the time.

Wendy and the kids had to go though because Bea and Mia keeps asking things since they saw Justin in tears. He talked to them before they left and kissed them with such pain. It was hard to watch. Pattie, Wendy, and I talked before their departure. Wendy explained her side, and I listened. She wants me to know their toxic high school story.

She made it seem she's in love with Justin, after finding out she's carrying twins. She was so scared, and she said that he was her bestest friend, and she knows that he will take this responsibility. Landon, the guy she really loves, was clueless up to this day.

Now, I'm thinking about why Justin hates himself so much that he treated himself like a monster that I will never love. Sure, I was scared shîtless when I found out about Bea and Mia, but I never found that to be like how he makes it like. Having children is not his problem with himself, then what is?

He was a good father to the twins, owned up to the fake responsibility, didn't think twice, asked no questions, and just accepted.

Was it because he went to the States to manage a gym?

Or the endless list of girls he hooked up with in New York?

Maybe it's just that he hates himself? Why, if that's the case?

Do I need to know? Will he tell me?

I want to open my mouth, and get all the answers I can get. But I didn't. I just watch him sleep, curled up under a thin blanket. I reached for the comforter and cover him. He clears his throat and spoke with a hoarse voice still. "Hi."

"Hey," I smile, offering him a glass of water. He smiles, sits up and drinks half of the glass' content.

"Do I look shîtty?" his voice cracks, still with that pained smile on his lips. In all honesty? No. Sure, his eyes are red and swollen, puffy cheeks, and that's it. In fact, he looks younger.

"No, you just sound terrible. Please drink up," I pat his shoulder and he obeys. "You hungry? It's almost lunch time."

"I don't know. Can we like, do something?" he suggests.

I sent him a warm smile. "Yeah, how about eating brunch?"

"I don't need food."

Okay... maybe later. "Well what do you want to do?"

I swear, it's like talking to a very fragile baby boy. It feels like I need to take care of him against all odds. I don't know how much it hurts when you had two wonderful children and all of a sudden someone tells you they're not yours.

"Come here," he puts the comforter away and opens his arms.

I snuggle in, leaning on his shoulder then receiving a kiss on the top of my head. "You must be so confused right now."

"What? You—"

"Yes baby, I am confused. But you are too. Aren't you?"

I sigh. Still good at mind reading, huh. Or am I still just being so obvious about it. "I mean, yeah. But it is not important right now."

I feel another kiss, now on my temple. He rests his chin on the side of my head, scooping me closer. "I don't like being the center of attraction. Not like this."

I laugh. "I remember the New York Justin."

He chuckles too, humming. "Can I tell you things about me?"