I'm torn.

Chapter 1

"The biggest boy band One Direction's tour is over! The boys should be going back to their hometowns today." the reporter on the TV show says happily. I scoff, I mean, what do you expect? Zayn was my best friend & after he became famous, he sorta just disappeared. 

We talked a lot when he first left but then..then he cut me out of his life. I guess I wasn't good enough for him. I was left to hear all the girls at my school gawking about them. I mean, yeah I know they were beautiful & everything, but they're just normal guys, what's the big deal? 

I wasn't excited for Zayn to come back to Bradford, I probably wouldn't see him anyways. I wonder if he did remember me. Ha, I had the biggest crush on him, but that was before he left, before he changed.

I was over it though, I had a boyfriend. He was great, we got along well, & well yeah I loved him. He should actually be here any minute now. I turned off the TV, this was getting annoying, always hearing about them. I wasn't jealous or anything, it just annoyed me that they were treated like fucking super humans just because they can sing. 

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring. I quickly get up & open the door. Josh gave me a big smile & hugged me. "Hey babe." he says into my ear. He gave me a quick kiss before pulling away. I never told Josh about knowing Zayn or anything. I mean, there was really no point. 

Josh was actually a drummer, a very good one. He's had a few gigs with bands but nothing serious.

"Hey babe, guess what?" he asks me, giving me that breathtaking smile. "What?" I ask, smiling back. "I got a job! Not just a gig, but an actual job playing drums for a band!" he says exciteldly. I give him a kiss, I was really happy for him. This is what he always wanted. "Oh & you won't believe for what band!" he says, still happy. "What band, Josh?" I ask. "One Direction!" he says.

I can feel my heart sink, but I kept a smile on just for him. "Oh..really..That's great." I say, trying to sound as convincing, as possible.  "Yeah I know! I met them the yesterday, they seem like pretty cool lads." he says. I just smile again, trying to get this through my head. 

"I told them a bit about you & they said they'd all love to meet you." Josh says. "Really?" I ask. "Yeah, well I told them you were from here & your name & stuff. Harry, Niall, Liam & Louis all really seemed to want to meet you, but Zayn had a weird look, I wonder what that was about." he says. I just laugh, trying to go along with it. "I wonder." I say. "So do want to come to our practice tomorrow?" he asks. "Uh...uhm." "Come on baby, it'll be fun. Please." he begs. "Of course." I say kissing the tip of his nose. "Mm, I love you." he says. "I love you too." 

It was Friday night & my parents are out of town so Josh decided to spend the night, as weird as it sounds, we never had sex, I don't know. I was a virgin, but I wasn't waiting for anything romantic, or special, it just never felt right. I'm not one of those girls who obsess about keeping their virginity & shit. I just never did it. I don't know Josh never pressured me into it or anything, we never really talked about sex, it just never came up. 

We watched a few movies in the living room before heading up into my room. "I'll be right back." I say, going to change into my pajamas. He nods & I head to the bathroom. I put on a pair of pajama shorts & a tantop. I walk back to my bedroom & see Josh giving me a smile with his hands behind his head. He winked at me as I got on the bed with him. 

"Why are you so happy?" I ask curiously. "I just feel like everything is going the right way. I have a great, new job, I'm going to make more money, I met some pretty cool lads, & you know there's this girl I love." he says. "Oh really? Tell me more about this girl." I say, giving him a smirk. "Oh this girl, she's absolutely beautiful, she seems like weirdo until you get to know her & that's when get to know she's absolutely amazing, but yeah she's a weirdo still, but she's taken." he says, sighing. "The guy she's taken with, how's he?" I ask. "Oh no, he's a complete badass. He's pretty hot too." he says, laughing. "You're such an idiot."  "Maybe, but you're the one who loves me." he says into my neck. 

"Thank you for coming tomorrow." he says. "I wouldn't miss it for anything, babe." I say. He wraps his arms around my waist & I bury face in his chest, & we fall asleep, just like that. 

---

I woke up to Josh shaking me lightly. "Come on babe, get up." he says into my ear. My eyes flutter open & he's smiling at me. "We gotta get going soon." he says. I nod & kiss him lightly before getting up. 

I put on a tank top & some shorts. (x) 

You see, when I was friends with Zayn I wasn't the prettiest, I was a bit chubby, & flat chested, let's just say I was a mess; but now..I'm not going to say I was the most beautiful thing, but I looked a lot different. In a good way. 

I walked out of the bathroom to see Josh on my bed humming a random song. He looks up at me & whistles. "You're so weird." I say, laughing. He chuckles & asks "You ready to go?" "Yeah." 

Honestly, I'm nervous as fuck. I haven't seen Zayn in at least two years or more. I remember before he left, we both said how much we loved each other & I was crying for weeks after he left. I got over him though & I met Josh. 

Josh was everything I was looking for. He was amazing & I loved him, but why did he have to be part of One Direction? out of all the bands in the world it had to be them. I'm proud of him though. I'm happy he's happy. I'm glad his dream is coming true. 

We've been in the car for about twenty minutes before stopping at a studio. We both got out of the car & walked inside. There was a few rooms before we stopped in front of one. Josh put his arm around my waist & we both walked in. I saw four people, but not Zayn, & I don't think one of them were part of the band, if he was..that'd be kinda scary.

They all looked up at us & the three younger guys grinned at us. "Hey Josh!" the one with the blond hair said, he went up to us & he gave Josh a slight hug & he smiled at me. "You must be y/n! Joshy over here wouldn't stop talking about you the few times we met up!" he says. I looked up at Josh & his cheeks were a fain red color & I smiled. "Yeah..& you are.." I say starting to trail off. "I'm Horan, Niall Horan." he says trying to do his best James Bond impersonation. & then the other two boys came over. "Hello y/n I'm Liam & this is Harry! & Oh over that's our body guard Paul." he says. "Oh hey." I say & wave towards Paul. "Ah, well Zayn & Louis should be here any minute they went to go get starbucks." Liam says. Josh nods & goes to sit on a chair. 

Liam & Niall sit on the other two chairs, leaving me standing up, until Josh pulls me onto his lap. "Woo Josh can't keep your hand off her." Niall says, with a wink. I can feel my face getting red & Josh chuckles. We start talking about random things, & I'm starting to get along well with them, we're all having a good laugh & then the door starts to open. I look up to see a boy in some suspenders, & red pants. He doesn't bother looking up until he sees me. "Oh so you must be y/n! Couldn't get him to shut up about you." he chuckles "& you must be Louis." I say. He nods his head & yells through the door. "Zayn get your ass in here & stop smoking!" "Alright, alright." Zayn says. I can feel my heart start to race & put my head in the crook of Josh's neck. 

I can feel a pair of eyes staring at me. "Oh uh..hello." Zayn says. I look up at him & he has a tray of starbucks drinks in his hand. "Hey Zayn.." I say. "Hey y/n.." he says looking down. The boys give us weird looks. "Do you guys know each other?" Niall asks. "Uh..yeah." I say, awkwardly. "Er, boys you remember that girl I told you about..the one I used to be good friends with? Yeah..that's y/n." he says. All the boy's eyes get wide. "The girl you were going to as- OW" Niall was cut off by Harry kicking him. 

"Oh so yeah I have the drinks." he says. He passed them out & gave me mine. "Coffee four sugar two cream, right?" Zayn asks. "Oh yeah ,thanks." I say a bit surprised he remembered. 

Josh seemed a little uncomfortable & gripped my waist a little tighter. "I love you." he mumbles in my ear. "I love you too." I say, a little too loud, & all the boys look at us & saw "aw" except for Zayn, he looks bothered & looks down at his phone.

"Josh, we need you to practice your drum solos & all the songs!" the person in the back yells. Josh looked at me & pecked my lips. "I'll be back in a bit a babe." he says before pecking my lips again. I nod & get off his lap, so he can go. The boys all look at me weirdly, I try to ignore them & take out my phone. I hear people snickering & look up to see Zayn & Harry. "Hey Lou, Niall, Liam let's go get some fresh air!" Harry says standing up. Zayn made his eyes big at Harry & Harry smirked. "Bye." he said before closing the door.