I'm torn.

Chapter 10.

The rest of the day, people were staring at me, god. I've gotten at least 13 messages from Josh asking about why I was at his house, & a few messages from Zayn saying he would find a way to cover this up. I can't talk to either of them right now. 

I avoid everyone for the rest of the school day & turn my phone off. What am I supposed to do? I mean, this was supposed to be a secret for a while. Dammit, I knew this wasn't a good idea, but I want Zayn, I need him, but I love Josh with everything, I'm just fucked up right now. 

After the bell rings, I rush to my locker & head to my car. I can't go home - not yet. I take a long ride, I'm not ready to face my consequences - not yet. I need to find a way to cover this up, just I need both of the right now, Josh is what I needed but Zayn is what I want. 

It's been about an hour, it's probably a good time to get home, so I head back. 

When I get there I see his truck, Josh was here, I needed to tell him I love him, that I didn't do anything with Zayn - even if it was a lie, I needed him to believe me. 

I get out of the car & I see him leaning against his. "Hey.." I finally say. He just looks at me, he looks like he's been crying. "What?" I ask - acting oblivious & go to hug him. He tenses up, & doesn't move, he doesn't hug me back, nothing. 

"Josh..what's wrong?" I ask again. "Why were you at his house?" he asks. "I went to visit his mom after Jess's house." I lie. "That's it?" he asks. "Of course, silly." I say smiling up at him. "I was just scared...why didn't you ever message me back then?" he asks. "I turned my phone off, & then I went to the library after school, I forgot to turn it back on." I lie, again. 

He eases up & wraps his arms around my waist. I wipe the tears from his eyes & he gently presses his lips on mine. "I'm sorry." he says into my lips. "Don't be." I say pulling him into another kiss. 

"Stay with me tonight." He says. "Josh I have -" "Yeah, I know you have school, just don't go tomorrow, I've got tomorrow off, & I need to see you, I feel like I've been working more than spending time with you." He says. I look up & nod. 

"I need them to think I'm home though, they're all over me lately." I say. "You're parents are so uptight." he says chuckling. "mm, pick me up at 1?" I ask. "Alright, love, I'll see you later." He says before kissing me again & smiling. "Alright, babe." I say before walking inside. 

"Are you going to eat dinner with us for once?" My mom yells, as I walk upstairs. "No, I'm not hungry." I say. 

I get an outfit ready for tomorrow, & decide to take a shower. 

I do everything I need to & get out. I know something's going to happen tonight, so I put on my best pair of panties & bra & throw on pair of shorts & a baggy shirt. 

Time passes pretty quickly, & I hear my parents & siblings go into their bedrooms. I lay in my bed, Josh should be here in the next few minutes. 

I hear my phone start to ring & I smile, answering, thinking it was Josh. 

"Hey baby." I say. "Somebody's being friendly today." I can hear Zayn smirk into the phone. "Oh, Zayn." I say into the phone. "Ah, that's the reaction I was looking for." He says back. "No, it's jus-" "You were expecting Josh?" He asks. "Yeah..." I say. 

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you were alright." he says. "Yeah, I'm fine, is that all?" I ask. "Hm, how about I miss you?" He asks. "Mm, I don't know about that Malik, getting too attached?" I say, laughing to myself. "No, I just miss you.." he says. "I miss you too." I say. I hear him sigh.

"I'll let you go, have a nice time tonight, I'll see you soon." he says. "Alright, Zayn." I say. "Goodnight, I love you." he says. "Goodnight." 

A few minutes later I hear a knocking on my window. I get up & see Josh with a smile plastard across his face. 

I open the window & I can't even say anything his lips instantly connect to mine. "You ready?" he asks.