I'm torn.

Chapter 12.

Everything was a blur, all I saw was Zayn and Josh on the floor, Josh on top of him throwing fists in Zayn's face, repeatedly. 

I run over to where they are and try to calm down Josh. I put my hand on his face, even though I'm scared to go close to him. He stops hitting Zayn, who has cuts all over his face. Josh looks at me, and I swear his eyes start to tear up. He takes my hand off of him and gets up to walk out of the club. 

I look at Zayn, he looks like he's in extreme pain. "y/n..stay here, I'll go talk to him, just get zayn to a doctor." Niall says. I don't even say anything just kneel down next to Zayn, barely noticing everyone standing around us. 

I help him up and he wraps one arm around my neck and the other around Harry's. We take him to Harry's car and drive to the hospital. I'm sitting in the back seat with him, his head rested on my lap, and his eyes closed. "I'm sorry." I say, quietly, but enough for him to hear. He gives me a weak smile. "This pain is worth being with you." he says. I kiss his forehead and push the hair out of his face. 

"I love you."  I say, and I mean it. I really do mean it. "I love you too." he says. 

----

We've been at the hospital for only a half hour, Zayn needed to get a few stitches since the cuts were so deep on his cheek. 

Harry dropt me and Zayn off at Zayn's flat and left. 

"Do you want anything? I can make you some tea." Zayn says. "Are you crazy. Sit down. I'll make you tea." I say. "No, it's okay. I didn't want any. Just thought I'd ask." he says with a small smile. 

"Come on, let's get you to bed." I say and take his arm. We walk into his room, and he lays on his bed. "Well, I should get going." I say. "No, stay with me. Stay here tonight." he says. His lips find mine, and for the first time. I don't feel bad kissing him, I feel like this is where I belong. 

Zayn pulls me so that I'm hovering over him. One hand is on the small of my back and the other is on the back of my neck. I gently pull his shirt over his head and unzips the back of my dress.

We flip over so Zayn's hovering over me this time. He pulls down my dress, so I'm in nothing besides for a pair of panties. His eyes stare hungrily at me. 

Unlike the times I've had with Josh, I felt comfortable right now. I felt confident. 

"You're honestly flawless." he says into my ear and starts kissing my neck. He finds my sweet spot, and I sigh, contently. My hands make their way down to the waistband of Zayn's jeans. "Do you want me to take them off?" he asks. I nod. 

He gets off my quickly and pulls down his pants, and boxers. He pulls my panties. I see him take a deep breath. He looks nervous, but then comes back on top of me. 

Zayn positions himself, and whispers "You have no idea how long I've wanted this." 

He slowly inserts inside of me, and, it takes the breath out of me. Zayn looks down at me to make sure I'm okay, and once I nod, he starts thrusting at a steady pace. 

"Faster.." is all I can choke out, and he does what I ask. His hips are moving so fast it's all a blur. Moans are escaping my mouth, and I can't stop them. I look up at Zayn, his hair is damp with sweat; his eyes are focused on mine. The cuts on his face make him look sexy, honestly. 

I can feel myself getting close, and Zayn notices too. "Come on, love." He says, going a little bit faster and harder. I finally reached it. My body went into complete euphoria. My toes curled, my stomach knotted, and I swear I could see stars. 

A few moments later, I felt Zayn fill me up and he collapsed next to me. Zayn pulled me over so my head was on his chest. He pushed the hair on my face back, and stroked my head. 

We didn't say anything else that night. Just fell asleep, and I couldn't be anymore happy with that.

----

I woke up to my phone ringing. I didn't bother to check to see who it is. I wrapped the cover around my chest and got my phone. 

"Hello." I say, groggily. 

"We need to talk."