My Rose- Jaehyun- NCT

31.

Rose's POV.

A couple weeks had passed by and my anxiety was higher than ever. Yuta had brought back a side to my anxiety that I hadn't seen since I was with Taeyong. For some strange reason, I hadn't been able to get Taeyong out of my head. Thoughts or memories would pop into my head, and if I'm honest, it was traumatizing.

Every thought that I now had of him was negative. If I'm being honest, our relationship was incredibly unstable. The more I thought about it the more I realized I could've just been a naïve girl who he took advantage of. I'm not sure he ever really loved me like I loved him. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. But nevertheless, I was devoted to him. Whenever he cheated, it was almost like I was the one that ended up apologizing. Yet I stayed with him till the end, bending over backward to try and show him how much I cared because I knew he needed the love. Taeyong was extremely lonely, he never felt enough. I had tried so hard to make him happy, but I wasn't enough for him. So, he spent his time playing with multiple girls, trying to validate his importance. That was why it was so hard for me to open up.

That morning I had an early shift at the café. Luckily, it was a Sunday, so we weren't as busy. The occasional zombie-like customer would walk in, rudely ordering an expresso to heal their tiredness. I stood behind the counter sighing, wishing that I could be in Jaehyun's arms. As time went on, I began to compare our relationship to mine and Taeyong's.

2 years ago.

"Rose please, you know you're my baby. She means nothing to me!" I turned my back to face him, tears streaming down my face. Lies and excuses tumbled out of his mouth. My heart had been ripped out of my chest for the thousandth time in our relationship. He roughly grabbed my wrist, turning me around so he could try to get away with what he had done. He had always known that I had a soft spot for him; he knew that I was madly in love. But this time was different, I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and slapped him across the face. "Leave, I never want to see you again. You've broken me Lee Taeyong"

And that was the night Taeyong died in a car crash. They said that his eyes were so blurry from the desperate tears that he didn't see the car heading straight towards him. I could remember the day I heard the news. My heart shattered into pieces as I fell to the floor crying my eyes out. Eventually, I learned to move on. But the one thing I will never move on from is the guilt that I hold inside my heart.