Raiza's Burden

Chapter 2 A glimpse into the past

"Oh My God, oh my god" she took deep breaths.  She was panicking and her mind was in a mess. "This can't be happening,  not now,  not ever" she continued as she supported herself on the wall that was covered with a huge mirror.  her pale reflection stared back and she could feel the strain while she took each breath.

In her mind another image of her standing at a huge mirror materialized. She was applying lipstick red velvet it read. A strange choice since she never liked that color but it wasn't her choice was it for a long time now her life has become about fitting into her husband's choices.

She sighed and looked one last time at her image then walked out of the bathroom. Her husband sat with his friends at the bar. He was laughing and charming the group that surrounded him. She moved to sit by him and felt his hand on her shoulder. The weight of it she felt in her heart she knew any moment things could just go downhill. 

He offered her a drink he was sipping and she took it with a smile but only one thought "let him forget I exist"

She sipped the drink it was bitter, but she didn't complain about it, she didn't dare to change it either so she forced herself to sip little by little till it was all done.  She sat alone watching people dance laugh and have fun. She stared motionless and just waited for the night to end.  At some point she realised her husband was missing she started looking for him but her body was not ready to move.  Her mind was dull she just wanted to lay her head down on the table and close her eyes.

She reminded herself where she was and forced herself to stay awake.  She grabbed the water bottle on the table and drank it. She felt a cloud covering her mind and shook her head to clear it.

"I was suppose to look for something" she thought but she couldn't remember what it was. She tried to force herself to remember.

"husband" she thought "where is he? Oh I was suppose to look for him" she remembered and raised her head only to be staring into light brown eyes.

"Are you alright?" the owner of the beautiful eyes asked her. 

Laughter bubbled inside her and she couldn't suppress it.  She laughed out loud attracting attention.  When she realized she was being watched she tried to stop but couldn't and continued laughing. 

"Are you drunk? " beautiful eyes asked

Forcing herself to stop she considered his question her fogged mind was too dull to register anything so she gazed into the man's eyes.

"do you know where my husband is?" she asked lost in his eyes

He smiled "Siddhartha had gone to buy some cigarettes" he explained "he will be back in a few minutes"

"hum" she hummed her body and mind was out of control and she couldn't stay motionless any more. She didn't even realize hey body was moving to the music.  It started with her feat first and then the rhythm travelled up her body till her head was moving to the music. 

"why don't you dance? " beautiful eyes asked her.

She only shook her head she didn't know why but something was stopping her.  She sat in the place but her body kept moving. Finally someone pulled her hand and helped her up dragging her to the dance floor.

"I think if you dance your alcohol level will go down" beautiful eyes whispered in hey ears.

She didn't know for how long but she danced and he danced with her.  It wasn't a close dance neither touched the other but they moved to the rhythm.  For the first time in a long time she felt free, the nagging fear at the back of her mind told her to stop but she couldn't remember why she was scared and she let herself feel freedom. She dance to her hearts content.

She could feel herself moving in and out of her senses laughing,  dancing, and living. Someone gripped her shoulder roughly and turned her around. She saw a familiar face. Squinting to get a good view she recognized her husband who stared into her eyes with a smirk. He pulled her into his arms and then faced beautiful eyes.

"thank you for taking care of her" he spoke to someone. she was frozen with fear and didn't bother to see whom he thanked. She just wanted to run away and hide but his hold on her was like an iron clasp. He ran his hands up and down her body and she was ready to melt in shame. She knew he wasn't doing it out of desire he was doing it to shame her.

"did you enjoy dancing" he whispered into her ears. She didn't respond

"he likes you I can see it in his eyes" he stood in a soft smooth voice. She only shook her head.

"I'm going to tell him you liked him too" he declared. She stayed quiet "do you want to go home with him tonight?" he asked her

"please" she begged "I don't have any such thoughts" she explained helplessly

He snickered "oh common on I know you. You are on heat and when a bitch is on heat she needs to be mounted" he declared

Tears filled her eyes even though she was used to his words his verbal abuse it still hurt. She wiggles out of his hold and walked out of the dance floor. She wasn't sure where she was heading but she saw the balcony door and stepped out.  Tears flooded her cheeks and she walked around the balcony to find a corner where she could find some space to shed her tears. 

The darker part of the balcony hid her but she could hear the voices of people who stepped out for a smoke. A mention of her husband's name caught her attention. It was a male voice she didn't recognize.

"poor Siddhartha to be stuck in a marriage that  makes him miserable such a pity" he had declared

"are you sure you heard if right" the female voice questioned

She recognized the voice it was her husband's Co worker Vidya she had met her at other occasions. They seemed close and Vidya had been nice to her.

"oh sure as hell...  Poor guy broke down. It seems his wife wants to sleep with a new guy every night. Didn't you observe her tonight how she was all high and falling over Ailan?" he declared

Raiza was shocked she remembered dancing and was sure she didn't fall on anyone

"was she drunk? " Vidya asked

"she is addicted to drugs it seems, she went to the bathroom snorted and came out.  She saw her husband not around so she started flirting with his friend" he narrated a story she was absolutely unaware of.

"OMG can't believe she is like that" Vidya seemed to slowly change opinion about her.

"what more she fought with Siddhartha because he stopped her from asking Ailan to sleep with her" he added in a hush tone

"what are you saying? " Vidya asked in shock

"he come to Ailan in front of us all and begged him to sleep with his wife tonight.  We were shocked he broke down and explained that she had threatened to file a complaint against him if he didn't provide her with Ailan tonight" he explained

"OMG what a bitch poor Siddharth. What is he going to do? " she enquired

"we have assured him that we will all give witness to her infidelity and help him, we have advised him to talk to a lawyer soon" he explained.

Raiza gagged she was helpless as she watched her husband turn her into a whor to the whole world. She shed silent tears and vowed to herself "soon I will be free"