Raiza's Burden

Chapter 14 Fire

Raiza woke up early on a Saturday. She felt relaxed and happy. She walked into the kitchen and made herself the herbal tea she loved. It was her day off. She sat at the dining table and took a deep breath. Now that Gyan had signed the contract and was back in his own world she felt safe.

"Safe" that word rang in her head bringing all sorts of memories she had tried hard to forget. She sighed. Her hand involuntarily touched her lower abdomen where a faded scar reminded her of all her losses. Raiza felt a pang as she got up from her table and walked into the kitchen. Her heart heavy ready to break.

"I forgave you for my own good, but I can't forget what you did to me. What I let you do to me" She whispered through gasps.

Two soft arms embraced her from behind. She turned to stare into the eyes of Amrin her support tower. She hugged her and cried.

Amrin let Raiza vent her sorrow and held her patiently. They had moved to the comforter in the tv room. When Raiza's cries had softened Amrin let go of her and looked at her face.

"What happened?" she questioned.

Wiping her tears Raiza sat back "I thought I had forgotten him, the pain, fear, and humiliation but... " she paused.

"Something reminded you? " she questioned. "Or is it someone?" she inquired suspiciously.

"The last few days have been taunting me Ams, I have been holding on to sanity with my dear life" she confessed.

"hmm.." she hummed encouraging her friend to talk.

"First running into Ailan shocked me. Bringing back memories I had buried for 3 years. And Gyan, he Ummm he ..." she struggled searching for words to explain.

"Rocked your world" Amrin joked.

Raiza's shocked expression made Amrin laugh. Raiza at first was stunned but soon she smiled and the smile turned to laughter as she joined Amrin rolling with laughter.

"Do you like him?" Amrin asked.

The laughter seized and Raiza sat silently for a few moments before answering. "Who? "

"Oh, how many strangers have stolen your sleep and peace of mind? " she questioned.

Raiza stared not able to believe how her friend was making fun of her situation.

"I hope it's not an army, will be a lot of work hiding the bodies" she stated with a wink.

Raiza laughed "Common be serious" she chided between laughter.

"You want serious Ok let's" she stated facing Raiza "I know you are hurt. I can't imagine what it felt like. I can't imagine what it is now revisiting those dark days. I can only guess witnessing your pain and struggle. I know your ex did a number on you. It wasn't fair and I will not advise you to move on or forget the past, because it's not my place to do it. I do want to understand one thing. What do you want to do with the life that is staring at you and waiting for you to make a decision? "

Raiza knew what Amrin was trying to express. one part of her mind was asking her the same question and she had been avoiding it. She had been hiding away from that question. She sighed "I don't know"

The defeated look on her face broke Amrin's heart she hugged her friend and held her close. "You know what, forget the big question let's work on the smaller ones" she comforted
Pulling herself away she asked, "What do you want to eat?" Raiza smiled.

"khichdi" she declared like a happy child. 

"Coming right up" Amrin announced and quickly moved to the kitchen. She watched her go, left alone the memories came rushing in like demons hiding and waiting to attack her as soon as she was alone unprotected.

She remembered how she had waited with bated breath for Siddhart. He was taking her on their first official date. She had ignored him after their dinner with their fathers. He had forced her to go for dinner but she had stayed mum during the entire dinner. Frustrating him and causing him to become silent too. They finished eating and he dropped her back earlier than he had told her father. She had hoped she got rid of him. But the next day he sent flowers. The day after a big box of chocolates. Then another bouquet and another box of chocolates, he continued the entire week. She finally called him and begged him to stop. It was getting ridiculous her father kept smiling like he knew something was brewing. The maid and the driver were whispering. Even the delivery boy was becoming a familiar sight.

He agreed to stop with the flow of flowers and chocolate if she would go out on a date with him. After some arguments, she finally agreed. He promised her if she didn't like their date he will never bother her. She agreed hoping not to like the date. She even dressed casually in her jeans and a t-shirt no makeup. The bell rang and she opened the door. Siddhart dressed in jeans and a pullover smiled at her. She returned the smile.

"Hello" he whispers
"Hi," she replied.

"ready?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulder.

"Remember you promised you will give me a chance" he reminded her.

She sighed "alright let's go" she declared and stepped out skirting around him. But he caught her by her arm and stopped her.

"You would need a sweater or a jacket" he advised ignoring her hateful look.

"No, I don't it's not that cold I can manage" she declared stubbornly.

This time he shrugged his shoulders, holding her hand he started towards his bike. Raiza realized he was on a bike, not a car and stopped.

"Are we going on that? " she questioned.

He looked at her smiling "Yes" he declared as he tucked her towards the vehicle.
"I'm not sitting on that it's not safe" she protested all the while slowly moving towards the motorbike mesmerized.

He studied her expressions and smiled "You really hate everything you fall in love with don't you" He declared.

"No I don't" she protested.

"Yes you do, control freak" he goaded her.

"Whatever" She ignored him as they reached his bike. "Enfield" she read. It looked like a monster she touched the seat gently as Siddhart studied her expressions. She was completely mesmerized and kept touching it and looking at it from all angles and yet no appreciation passed her lips.

"Common" He declared as he handed her a helmet.

"Why do I need that? " she questioned.

"Safety" he declared putting it on her head and closing the clap below her chin. Their face was close she could feel his breath on her face. As he finished adjusting the helmet he caressed her chin and stared into her eyes.

"We don't want anyone hurt now do we?" He asked "Especially you" his thumb traced the outer lines of her lower lip

She shuddered as her eyes grew big in surprise. He lowered his tall frame so his lips were just a few inches away from hers. He moved closer his lips now close to her ears

"Don't look so surprised sweetheart you have a lot more fire to experience" his voice resonated in her mind.